A Blood so Dark (Cursed #1)

4.

CHAPTER FOUR
ANG NAGBABADYANG DIGMAAN

I woke with a start. Screaming.

I just woke up from a dream. No. It was not a dream. It was a memory. I ran to my mother, begging for her to not let them take me away. I dreamt of my father, saying I looked just like my father. I dreamt of my mother, slowly disintegrating like ashes as I touched her. I dreamt of my brother, choking me to death.

I remember gasping. I remember dying. I remember my consciousness fading, drifting into the unknown. I remember how cold and empty I felt as I almost touched the edges of oblivion. I knew it was dream. But how vivid it was. It felt so true, if I just stayed in that dream for a second longer, I wonder, would it have happened? Me dying? In my sleep.

‘Shhh. Ytara. It’s okay. You’re okay. Panaginip lang ‘yan.” Hindi ko namalayang nagising ko na pala ang mga kasama ko.

Nakatingin silang lima sa akin.Nanlalaki ang mga mata. Nagtatanong. But they said nothing. They just sat there, watching.

Saved Timora, who pulled me in an embrace. I could feel his hard body, warm against mine. And the steady rise and fall of his chest. His warm breath on my head.

I flinched.

‘Bitawan mo ako.’ Malamig kong sabi.

Timora. How I longed for him to come back. Noon, hiniling ko na mabuhay ito muli. Hiniling ko na makita ko pa ito kahit sa napakadaling sandali lamang. Now he has. He was well. Breathing. And I was with him. In his arms.

But he felt like unfamiliar. Like a stranger. Funny what time could do. I used to know him, I used to have every part of his face sketched in mind. Ngunit pagkalipas ng tatlong panahon, sa muli naming pagkikita, para siyang isang panaginip, nasa likuran ng aking isip, pilit kong inaalala ngunit hindi ko maabot.

And also, his presence was a constant reminder of what I had lost.

Ano na ang mangyayari sa akin ngayon? Tama ba ang naging desisyon ko.

Hinahabol na ako ng katotohahan. These past few days, when I left Everness and my family, I was feeling empty. But I realized I was just numb. But that numbness had been slowly fading away. Now, the emotions, they were all catching up to me now.

And I’m just so angry.

Cold.

Empty.

Vengeful.

‘Sabi kong bitawan mo ako.” Ulit ko ng hindi nito pakinggan ang una kong sinabi.

I heard him drew a sharp breath.

And slowly, he released me.

We had been travelling for two nights. Away, we had been. Inverness was now miles away. Nasa pusod kami ng kagubatan. Sa kadiliman, Sa lilim ng mga puno at sa mapagmatyag na tingin ng buwan. Matigas at malamig ang sahig. Kahit mayroong apoy na nagliliyab hindi nalalayo sa akin.

Bumalik ako sa paghiga. This time, I closed my eyes. Sleep didn’t come. But the tears did.

The next morning, we woke up late.

Nakahanda ang isang kunehong iniihaw sa may apoy. His friends had been the one doing the hunting. They hadn’t spoken to me. They didn’t try to. I was glad. Hindi ko alam kung pa-paano kakausapin ang mga ito. Although they’d been throwing me glances every now and then, giving me small smiles and nods.

Umupo ako sa tapat ng apoy. It was freezing. Winter was to come anytime soon, and the breeze was hinting that.

Inunat ko ang mga kamay ko.