living the dream, losing you (SEQUEL)

Chapter Eight

Spending the night with Morgan was just what I needed to get through the fact that our son had died. I know that the girls meant it when they said that they were there if I needed them, but I honeslty just wanted Morgan.

He got up very this morning to talk to the doctor about the the baby. He had to sign some papers, and write up and birth a death certificate. We even picked a name for him. We let Kolter Grey pick his first name, we actually let him pick a name for a boy back when we announced that we were pregnant. Our son's name was Kyler Gage Wallen.

After he did doctor stuff, he woke me up at 7am with coffee and my favorite blueberry muffins from a bakery in Lebanon. We sat in the bed while we ate breakfast.

"So, the doctor is going to take care of everything for us since we're both going on tour" He says.

"Okay. That's honeslty probably for the best" I say.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too. Plus, I don't want you to have to deal with this alone. I know you have the girls, but they dont need to experience it either" He says.

"You know, Maddie went back when he was delivered. She got to hold him too. After that, she kind of stayed away until right before you got here. I think it really upset her too" I say.

"TR was pretty upset too. I think it's shaken everyone" He says.

"Nobody should have to experience that. I would never wish what we're going through on anyone" I say.

"Luckily, we've got each other, babe. Forever and Always" He says.

"I don't ever want anyone else" I say.

"Me either" He says before kissing me. I had never loved someone as much as I love Morgan Wallen.

***
I was released from the hospital and told to take it easy for the next couple days. I also had to go in for a follow up for my stitches on January 9th before we got on the road to travel to Atlanta, which was where the girls opened the show. I wasnt allowed to do much, and Morgan almost wanted to cancel the show, but I wouldn't let him. Hannah was going to stay at the house and help with the kids, because I wasn't allowed fo lift anything over 10lbs. Plus, she had been texting me telling me that Kolter Grey had been wanting to stay the night.

When Morgan and I got to the house, Kolter Grey ran to me. I hugged him the best I cound with just having the surgery.

"Hey, buddy" I say and squeeze him.

"Mama!" I hear Kensi say. I look up to see Hannah walking out the front door of our house with Kensi in one arm and Kaiston Grace in the other. Kaiston Grace reached for Morgan. "Mama, up!".

"Baby, I can't. You gotta stay with Auntie Hannah" I say.

"Mama!" She says again. I kiss her cheek and hug her tightly in Hannah's arms. Thankfully, I could let her sit on my lap when I was sitting down.

"I love you" I say to her. She grunts and turns to bury her face in Hannah's shoulder. She was a mama's girl, so I knew she wouldn't understand what was going on.

"Mama, where's baby?" Kaiston Grace asks. I turn to her and Morgan.

"Uh, well. Baby, you had a baby brother, but he doesn't get to live with us. He lives with Jesus now" I say.

"Kais, mommy said he's in heaven" Kolter Grey says.

"Heaven?" Kaiston Grace asks.

"Baby, that's where all of Jesus's angels live" Morgan explains.

"Baby happy?" Kensi asks.

"Yes. He's happy" I say. Looking at Kensi and Kaiston Grace, I couldn't help but wonder what Kyler Gage would have looked like when he was one and three and even five like Kolter Grey.

"Well, Kensi. I think we should get inside and feed your mama. What do you think?" Hannah asks her. She nods.

"Uh, actually. Hannah, I need to talk to you. Kaiston Grace, you go with Kolter Grey and Kensi inside with mama, okay?" Morgan says. She nods. I knew Morgan was going to tell her to keep a close eye on me, so I just went in with the kids and waited for them to join us. It was 12pm, and Morgan had to meet Thomas Rhett at 2pm to get back down to Florida in time for the show, so we had to hurry up with lunch.

***
Taking a nap instead of eating was the worst thing o ever did, because I woke up feeling like crap. Well, like a depressed peice of crap.

We were all at Thomas Rhett and Lauren's house and saying goodbye to Morgan this time was even harder than the last. I needed him more than anything right now, but I had to let him leave.

"I don't want you to go" I say burying my head in his chest.

"I know, baby. I know that, but I've got too" He says. "We've got a show tonight".

"Please call me when you're done" I say.

"I will. You know that I will" He says.

"I love you" I say.

"I love you too" He says and kisses me.

"Cal, we'll see you soon" Lauren says and hugs me.

"I'll see you" I say.

"We love ya, Cal" Thomas Rhett says hugging me.

"I love y'all too" I say pulling away from him and hugging the girls goodbye.

I hugged and kissed Morgan one more time before getting into Hannah's car. Hannah strapped Kensi in her seat and then Kaiston Grace before getting into the car.

"Alright, let's play some music" She says pressing a button on her phone. Morgan's album started to play.

"Turn it off, please" I say. She looks over to me.

"Cal-"

"Hannah, please" I say with tears in the rims of my eyes.

"Cal, I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to not lie to me about it" She says. I nod. "Are you okay?". I look over at her.

"No. I'm not".