living the dream, losing you (SEQUEL)

Chapter Seventeen

***Hannah's POV***

I sat awake all night long thinking about what I had said to Callan. About what everyone had said to Callan actually. I kept hoping that I'd hear her walk to her bunk and climb in, but I never did. I heard her crying a lot though and that made me cry. Honeslty, everyone probably cried themselves to sleep that night.

By 6am, people were up again. I climbed out of my bed to see Maddie and Naomi.

"Should I even bother saying 'good morning' or what?" Naomi asks. I couldn't help but smile.

"Where's Cal at?" Maddie asks. I could tell she just wanted to talk to her. Callan hadn't said a lot to her since she found out about her baby, and I knew that was hurting her because they were such close friends.

"Check her bunk" I say. She did and Naomi went to the lounge. I stayed in the middle.

"She's here" Maddie says. "And now I've got to puke". I walked over to her bunk and the smell of liquor hit me like train. I closed the curtain and walked to the back. Naomi looked at me with a red face and look that could make a nun confess.

"Tell me you didn't give her this" She says holding up all three empty bottles of alcohol I gave her last night. I didn't say a word. "Hannah, are you kidding me?".

"You don't get to make me feel guilty about this, because I won't. I don't care anymore. Let her do this to herself. Let her ruin her life" I say.

"Hannah, she's a mother of two and a wife! She's going to-".

"Hit rock bottom and realize she needs to get her life together?" I ask. She just looked at me. "She's got to hit or she's not going to get better. She has to want to get better". She swallowed hard.

"Hannah, I...I just don't want to see her like that. I don't want those kids to see her like that. None of us can get through to her. None of us know how she's feeling. I just don't know what to do" She says. I sigh.

"I get it, but like I said, she has to want to get over it, and in order to do that, she's got to hit rock bottom" I say. The bathroom door opened and Maddie walked out.

"You alright?" I ask. She sat down on the couch.

"Guys, I know that Cal isn't doing the best right now, and I know why, and part of me feels so guilty. Is it my fault?" She asks. Naomi instantly shook her head.

"No! Maddie, I know you think Callan is mad at you, but she isn't. She just doesn't know how to handle her emotions right now and doesn't know how to deal with what she's going through. She's raising two kids on the road while her husband is on the other side of the country, and she just had her child die. She held her dead baby and so did you. That takes a toll on a person" Naomi spills.

"I just wish she would talk to me" She says. I sigh.

"Me too" I say. We hear a groan and look over to see Callan standing up facing us.

"Is she...still drunk?" Maddie asks looking to me. I look at Naomi. She kept quiet and we all just stared.

"Cal?" I ask. She flopped down next me. She was definitely still drunk. She probably didnt head to bed until recently. "Cal, are you alright?".

"He's dead" She mumbles. "My son".

"Cal, I know. I'm sorry, but you can't-".

"Morgan's gone" She mumbles again. She was clearly out of it. "I'm alone".

"Callan, you're not alone" Naomi says kneeling infront of her.

"I'm a...bad mom" She stammers again.

"Cal, no!" Maddie says.

"Maddie deserves a kid. Not me" She says. Maddie just shook her head. She was clearly upset.

"Morgan should've married Hannah" She says. I shot a look to Naomi. Naomi shook her head. "I'm no good". She whimpers before falling into me with her head on my lap and. I squeezed her tightly and Naomi tried to comfort her too. It was silent but then Maddie spoke up.

"She...doesn't hate me" She says through tears.

"Nope" I say. Naomi looks up at me then to Maddie.

"She hates herself" she says quietly. The sad thing is...she was right.