His Rebellious Nerd

Metal Has To Go Through Fire To Be Turned Into A Sword

I stare up at ceiling, tears pouring uncontrollably down my eyes.

I have been trying to sleep for the past four hours in which i failed miserably. I just keep on tossing and turning.

I am done.
Done being a nerd
Done being bullied
Done being rejected
Done being heartbroken
I am done. Done being me.

The heartache is still there, like a red hot coal placed on my chest, it glowed and burnt me at the same time, torturing me for hours, no relief to be found.

However much i do not want to think of whatever happened a few hours ago, it keeps on coming back with a wave of pain. Scratch that. Its literally a tsunami of pain.
I scrunch my face up in disgust everytime i replay the scenes like a movie it my head. The Badboy and the and the bitch. Yeah that's what its always been. The geek was always out of the picture. Stupid stupid me.

I lost everyone.
I lost skyler.
Kayla hates me.
The first ever boy I fell for, kissed my worst enemy.

How could life get any worse?

I hate myself for what I am. A sore loser.

It feels good to cry, I feel lighter yet completely drained.
Perhaps my eyes need to get washed with my tears once in a while to get a clear view of my life again.

I hear a knock at my door and I quickly wipe the tears with the back of my hand, scooting further into my cocoon of blankets.

"Sweatheart? I know you're Awake. Can i come in?" i hear mom ask from the other side of the door.

"No."

I am not in the mood of talking to anyone right now.I just want to be left alone and cry my heart out. I won't even be able to articulate without my voice shaking.

The door opens quietly with mom's head poking inside.

"Go away mom. Leave me alone! " I yell.

But of course she wouldn't listen. She is too stubborn for that.

"Mom I'm trying to sleep here" i retort as she turns on the lights. I feel the bed dip beside me so i swiftly turn my back at her, trying to hide my bloodshot puffy eyes. Yeah i look like a puffer fish right now. Huh.

"Don't lie to me Amy. I know you haven't been sleeping until you got back from the Parker's"

"How do you know?"

"I'm your mother for God's sake. But actually i did not hear your loud snores"

I didn't have the slightest energy to roll my eyes at that.

"Amy, I have been your age too, you know. I know how it feels to be laughed at, to put up a fake smile saying your day went amazing when it goes horrible and you just want to cry your heart out. But you are in some way responsible for it. For letting people walk over you. Its you who let them." she said softly.

I sniffed and slowly turned around , placing my head on her lap while she gently stroked my hair.

" I did not chose life to be this way mom.I did not chose to lose skyler. I did not chose for my best friend to hate me and I most certainly did not chose to see the boy i love, kissing the hoe that made my life a living hell. I never chose all of it. It chose me. Life chose to make me its target until it shatters me down to pieces. Those pieces have been shattered to such tiny pieces that It cannot break any further." I mumbled, my eyes filled with tears.

" So don't break any further. Don't let people walk over you anymore . Its your choice Amy, you can change it. "

" What are you trying to say? "

" All I'm saying is that metal has to go through fire to melt and be turned into a sword ."

My brain stuttered a bit, trying to decode what she wanted to say and when it clicked, I could see where she was getting at.

" Thank you mom. For everything " i mumble snuggling closer into her arms.

"Anytime sweatheart. Anytime" she smiles, ruffling my hair.

"Ohh and tell this Cayden to take care of his eyes. These will be only balls he will have left after I chomp his family jewels off"

"MOMMM!!!" I whine.

"Okay, okay i won't be that harsh on him. I want to see my grandchildrens before I die for Pete's sake!"

I roll my eyes at that.
I am crying my heart out because of this jock right here and she is ringing wedding bells in her head.
Only mom could be that delusional.
Only Mom.

She kisses my forehead before turning the lights off, leaving me staring at the ceiling again.

To be turned into a sword...

Turn into a sword...

A sword...

Those words keep on echoing in my head until i finally figure it out.
I can finally figure a way out.
A way to change my life.
To change me.

If You think, I'd curl up and cry to sleep....

You're Completely wrong.

I wipe my tears one last time and smirk to myself.

Its showtime!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

A/N

HEY LOVELY PEOPLE!

Please don't hate me for the late update. I've really busy and its really hard to find time to write now that school resumed.

Stacks of homeworks are waiting for me and here I am, writing instead... Well most precisely typing.

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