Finding Freedom | Kylo Ren X Reader

Chapter Four

You didn't want to run after him right away. Instead you stood there, hand over your mouth feeling like you were going to vomit again, shaking uncontrollably. Pregnant? Really? Part of you immediately began to talk yourself out of it. Surely the Force would have stopped something like this. Surely Kylo would have been able to see this coming and would have been able to stop it. Right? You weren't pregnant. You couldn't be.

But the symptoms told it all. The vomiting. The runny nose. The aversions. The fatigue. The mood swings. It all came together and told one tale: You were pregnant. You started crying again, panicking as you truly didn't know where to go from here. You hadn't meant to forget about getting the implant, but everything had just been so perfect for you. You had been on cloud nine here in the First Order. Not having to worry about anything from being fed to being clothed, and obviously not worrying about anything medical either. You felt like a fool, like you had made the single most detrimental mistake of your life. You needed Kylo and his guidance and you needed it now.

The second you could will your feet to move you were sprinting out of the bedroom after Kylo. You could hear him moving about in the living room below you, so that's where you focused your attention. The second you spied him milling about in the living room, his hands on his head while he walked in tight circles in the open, you felt at ease. You weren't in this alone, you had Kylo to help you. You began to descend the stairs, listening to him mumble something about being able to "fix this" on his own until he heard you coming toward him.

"Kylo, what are we--" You started to say, but the minute he laid eyes on you he booked it across the living room to the kitchen. "Kylo? Wait, Kylo!" You said, desperately calling out to him, but he refused to slow down. You tears began to drip down your face again at his ignoring you. You couldn't do this alone. You needed the man that had made you feel so safe for so long. You needed him, yet he was pushing you away.

You turned the corner into the kitchen where you found him leaning on his hands over the sink, looking like he was going to get sick just as you were. "It's too much. I can't, I can't let this happen." He chanted as if he were in some sort of trance. His words made no sense to you. They were too dark, too demented. Too awful to be saying about a pregnancy you just found out about.

"Kylo, what are you saying?" You begged for answers, only to have him suddenly turn toward you and grasp you by your shoulders.

"I can bring someone here," He stated, a crazed look in his eye that made you think he was out of his mind. "They can destroy it. Then we can, then we'll be okay." He nodded his head, smiling like he was trying to push past his panic. There was only one thing he could be talking about when he said "destroy it," and that was something you were not prepared to talk about.

"What are you saying?!" You shouted, wiggling your way out of his grasp. You were hurt that he was deciding this for you when it was your body and your choice on if you wanted to end your pregnancy or not. You hadn't even had a meaningful conversation about it yet, and truthfully neither of you had any hard evidence on if you were pregnant or not. "We don't, we don't even know for sure. We can't just jump to conclusions like this!" You watched the overly happy look fade from his face before he turned back to the sink, beginning to gag. Just the thought of him getting sick in front of you was enough to turn your stomach, and you felt the need to vomit again. You turned, ran all the way to the bathroom on the first level where you once again threw up. Whether it was from your supposed pregnancy or from the massive amount of stress you were under, you didn't know. But by the time you were finished and had a minute to compose yourself and think about the situation, you thought you were ready to confront Kylo. You realized the problem wasn't that you were pregnant. It was that Kylo wasn't thinking straight. You had spent so much time taking care of Kylo that you realized this was just the most extreme you had seen him. You had to calm him down, talk to him. Make him realize that this isn't something that can just go away. As confident as you could, you stood yourself up and exited the bathroom, prepared to make Kylo sit and have an actual conversation about this predicament.