Finding Freedom | Kylo Ren X Reader

Chapter 8

Kylo listened from the kitchen as the wails from his daughter were replaced with soft suckling noises, indicating that she was now being fed. He hadn't gotten any sleep from the time he had turned the light out to the time he heard his daughter, Lucille, beginning to stir, and his woman had been fast asleep beside him the entire time. He knew she had worked hard, he knew she had been in more pain than he could imagine. He felt it. All of it. From the time her first contraction hit her to the time Lucille was actually born, every time he would reach out for her, he felt her agony. He wanted her to sleep, and he thought the best thing to do would be to give her a break.

So he lifted his small daughter from her bassinet and carried her down to the foyer. He knew nothing about babies, couldn't even guess why she was crying, but he took it as a cry for help. His daughter needed him, and even though he had never been more afraid of anything in his life, he held her close and sunk down against a pillar to try and address her needs.

He watched as her angelic face turned red, watched as her mouth fell open and her shiny red gums were on full display. His mother had once told him that he was born with a full set of adult teeth, taking the entire galaxy by surprise. He had often laughed when he thought about this, but looking down at the infant he had created it only seemed like a detail that pushed the two of them apart. How could he raise this tiny, defenseless human being when he knew nothing about her? How could he protect her when there was a massive target on his back for the entire galaxy to see? He couldn't even stop her from crying; how was he supposed to be a father when he was nothing short of clueless? He felt himself panicking, feeling the need to shout for her mother before he realized that part of his commitment to her was that he was going to try. He was a father now. Whether he liked it or not, Lucille needed him. He had to figure it out. He could not prove himself to be an even bigger coward.

"No, please don't cry." He whispered to her, and as if his voice was the softest of musical notes, Lucille began to calm. "There's no reason to be afraid. I'm going to take care of you." He cooed as her eyes began to open to him. It was like the day old infant was listening to him, could understand him in some way. He wondered if she had the Force, if that was at least one thing they could bond over. She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out at him, cooing and chattering as he understood infants to do. He held her close to him, smiling as he realized that his attempts to console her were working. "I'm going to protect you, and your mother. Even if it kills me, I won't let anyone take you away from me." He promised her, taking solace in the way she simply blinked at him. This was his daughter. This was his little girl that now knew her father. There was no doubt in his mind that she belonged right here in his arms.

He stepped around the couch and sat next to his family, handing the glass to his woman and watching as she took such a large sip. "Thank you," She started, setting the glass down in the cup holder of his leather couch. "I get so thirsty when I do this. I really appreciate it." She smiled at him, but he barely noticed as he looked down into her arms. He couldn't stop from reaching down and smoothing Lucille's hair, her head sitting like a small apple in his massive hands. Her eyes had already closed as she enjoyed her meal. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over her cheek. It was hard to be afraid when he was staring at something so precious.

"She's perfect." He said, taking a deep breath.

"Are you still scared?" His woman asked, just a hint of seriousness resting in her voice. He felt his mood beginning to tank, and tank rapidly. He was afraid of many things when it came to his daughter and her mother, but he didn't want to think about his worries. He was content with simply sitting and enjoying them, his family. Sure there were questions she wanted and needed answers to, and there were questions he had to answer for himself as well. But now was not the time for those answers.