Last Love

You Are my Forever

Just breathe.

Everything is fine.

This is exactly what you wanted, right?

You wanted the happily ever after. You wanted to be loved by someone who was ready to love you.

Eve is ready to love you.

Eve has never broken your heart.

Eve has been there for you.

You started planning your future with her.

This is exactly what I wanted.

Today is the day I've been waiting for since the moment I popped the question. Everything about that decision felt right. I hadn't been so sure about anything in a really long time. But, Eve, I was sure about you.

I was sure that I was 100 percent ready to marry you... until Lana re-entered my life. She shook everything up and made me question everything. I know that I love Eve. But am I truly in love with her?

I mean, Lana... I knew from the moment I looked at her the very first time that I was going to end up falling in love with her. I knew that she was going to rock my world from the beginning, and she has. Then, she broke my heart. We broke each other's hearts. We weren't good for each other. We continuously hurt each other. But this time felt different than the other times. When we were first together it was my first introduction to love. It taught me what love was like and what it truly felt like. The second time we were together it was wrong because, even though we knew we weren't supposed to be together, we wanted to be together so badly that we didn't care who we hurt in the process. We just wanted to be close to each other. This time was different because we weren't together. We had never been just friends before. We never had to be in a situation where we had to be just friends. But being friends with her has been such a healing process for the both of us. She knows just how much she's changed me and I can see that I've changed a little part of her as well. I can see it every time I look in her eyes. After the performance the other week I knew I had finally done it. I had made her proud, I became the man she always imagined that I would be. We both have come so far, and I am so beyond grateful for our friendship. So, why do I feel like this is the end? Part of me kind of knows that in being with Eve I'm going to be losing part of Lana. I knew I couldn't keep her locked away in this little bubble in my mind forever, but I didn't think it would burst this soon. Throughout the summer I felt like we had so much time left and now...

Now it's done.

It's going to be done forever.

Is this really it?

Is this really the end of our story?

Is this really where we say goodbye?

When I stood on her steps I could feel that she was holding something back? Or was I imagining it because I was hoping...

Hoping she'd stop me...

Hoping to admit that she still loved me...

Am I really not completely over her?

I have to be, I have to be.

I'm getting married today.

I've waited for this day.

This. Is. What. I. Wanted.

"Hey Asher, let's go for a walk." Adam's voice pulled me out of my trance. I snapped up and looked around my room of groomsmen and over at him. I nodded slightly before following him out the door. As soon as the doors opened, leading to the city, I took a deep breath in. And even though New York air is notoriously polluted, it felt a thousand times cleaner than the air I was breathing in that room.