Kisses of Tragedy (Published under LIB)

I Loved Him When He Had Nothing

I Loved Him When He Had Nothing

Walking along the sidewalk—with only the soft sounds of our footsteps murmuring, the bone-chilling whiff of the air touching my skin, and his palm warmly intertwined with my right hand—was already enough to make my heart flutter in contentment.

Honestly speaking, walking had always been too tiring for me. I never appreciated it, not until Sean and I became officially together.

Walking and talking with him every day from school all the way to our home became our everyday routine, and I really find it sweet thinking about how he can make these kinds of inexpensive dates extra special.

Well... how?

Minutes later, we stopped in front of the street food stalls lined up on the sidewalk of the road. His coal-black eyes were routed at the fish balls, barbeques, and kwek-kweks displayed in each stall. He gently squeezed my hand and shifted his gaze to me.

"Love," he called. "Bilhan kita ng kwek-kwek, gusto mo?"

My mouth instantly salivated on the thought. I may be a daughter of a well-known business tycoon but I would never say no when it comes to kwek-kwek!

"Yes, please!"

He chuckled and pulled my arms, guiding me towards the stalls. The mouth-watering smoke coming from the grilling of barbeques filled my nostrils and the loud chattering chants of the vendors echoed along the way.

Later on, we stopped in front of a stall, with an old woman on the opposite side who was busy placing the orange egg waffles inside the cup.

"Ale, pabili po ng tatlong baso ng kwek-kwek. Pakisupot po," he spoke nonchalantly as if he was really used to buying these kinds of street food.

Which, he really is.

He told me before that most of the time; kwek-kweks or barbeques are their meal for their everyday living. I found it weird at first but when he encouraged me to try; I realized that he was right. It's more delicious and more satisfying when you eat street foods with rice.

"Love, o." He handed me a plastic cup containing four rounded kwek-kweks. I took it and beamed.

"Thank you, love!"

But he gave me an awkward smile in return. "Sorry kung laging hanggang street foods lang ang date natin." He sounded so ashamed which he shouldn't be.

I nudged him on the arm. "Uy, okay lang, 'no. You don't really have to treat me to something expensive just to impress me. Because this..." I lifted my cup, "can already make my heart flutter. Meaning, you're worth more than any money, love."

I saw his lips curved into a smile. I genuinely understand Sean's situation. When his father passed away three years ago, he started helping his mother to support their family since he is the eldest among his five other siblings. I know how gigantic his responsibility is and I'm not here to be another burden.
Understanding and loving him is what he needed.

Today's our second anniversary so we decided to have a date in a mall. As we're strolling around the shop's women's section, my eyes instantly sparkled from the hundreds of dazzling dresses all over the place.

"Wow!" I exclaimed in awe. "Ang gaganda ng mga damit, love!"
"Hmm? Gusto mo ba?" I felt his arm snaked around my shoulders as he whispered, "Pili ka ng damit, love. Treat ko."

Without having any second thoughts, I began scanning every dress hanging on the wall.

My eyes were as if glued to the attractive dresses but it didn't escape me when I saw him open his wallet containing only 50 pesos. My heart slowly throbbed. Aw... my man.

Before he could even glance back at me, I immediately shifted my gaze and pulled out the best dress I picked.

"Ito gusto ko, love!" I showed him a white simple dress above the knee. "Do you think bagay sa akin 'to?"

"Bagay na bagay," he corrected, causing me to giggle. "Pero magkano ba 'yan, love?"

I didn't answer, instead, I held his hand and pulled him towards the counter, and let the saleslady punch the dress inside a paper bag.

"One thousand ninety-nine pesos, Ma'am, Sir."

I felt Sean's body froze. But before he could even take his wallet, I stopped him and smiled. "Sino nagsabing ikaw ang magbabayad, love? Ako ang magsusuot nito kaya ako ang magbabayad, 'no."

"But it's our second anniversary—"

"So? It doesn't matter. Next time mo na lang ako bilhan, pero this time pera ko muna, okay?"

He could no longer complain when I had already given the saleslady my two thousand cash.

As soon as we walked out of the shop, I felt his soft lips brush my cheeks, and my face heat up in surprise. "I love you," he whispered, breathing out his warm mint-scented air against my neck. "Babawi talaga ako sa susunod, love. It's a promise."

I giggled. "I love you, too."

I may not be that girl who will date my man even though he only has 50 pesos—but I will be that girl who will let him keep his 50 pesos and pay on my own. Being a burden to him is the last thing I would do.

"Thank you for staying with me even though I had almost nothing, love," Sean said, staring at me lovingly with his head lying on my lap. "Thank you for understanding me since the day we became together."

My heart thumped as I felt the rumbling of the butterflies inside my stomach. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and played with them.

"No need to thank me, love," I muttered. "Walang-wala pa 'to sa ibinibigay mong saya sa akin, 'no."

His facial expression softened as if he was touched by what I'd said. "Dencris..." He cupped my face and made our eyes locked to each other as he gently caresses my cheek.

"Sa lahat ng babaeng nakilala ko, ikaw lang ang nanatili sa akin kahit na walang-wala na ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang ginawa ko para mapasaakin ka pero nagpapasalamat ako. Ikaw ang pahinga ko sa mundong 'to, love. Sa 'yo ko naramdaman na hindi ako nag-iisa dahil sa huli, mayroon pa rin akong ikaw."

I bit my lower lip.
Sa lahat ng sinabi niya, tanging "mahal kita" lang ang sinagot ko.
Funny how he can take my breath away with his words. This feeling is too undescribable and God knows, I don't want it to end.

"Someday, love," he began, "we're gonna make our dream wedding come true— we will invite all of our exes and let them witness our wedding vows and I do's. And also, I want to be thankful to them because if they didn't break our hearts, it will never lead us to each other."

"Let's do that." I brushed my fingers through his hair and genuinely smiled. "Someday, love..."

---

"For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do, Father."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

The loud round of applause filled every corner of the church, pulling me back from the trance of our memories years ago. That's the only moment I shifted my gaze at the altar, giving me a nostalgic pain in my chest.

Sean is really a man of one word. Because if he doesn't, I wouldn't be here, clapping my hands for the both of them.

Masaya ako para sa kanya. Tinupad niya ang kanyang pangako, kahit hindi niya iyon mismo tinupad kasama ako.

Seeing him successful, healthy, and in bliss with his newly-wedded wife was as if a signal for me to finally move on, to finally accept the fact that my purpose in his life had already ended years ago.

Maybe this is really bound to happen.

Maybe my only role in his life was to love him when he had nothing, that's why when he already had everything—he left me.

The End