Kisses of Tragedy (Published under LIB)

How To Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend?

How To Forget Your Ex-Boyfriend?

Forgetting someone who used to be the person you're always thinking about is hard but forgetting all the memories with him that used to make you smile every damn time is harder. Everything I do-even when I'm studying, watching TV, eating, or even not doing anything-Ian would always pop up inside my mind, and then our memories would follow. And I can't do anything but cry and ask myself 'am I not enough?'

But from the three months, I've been emotionally tortured, I'm already tired. I'm already tired of being this way: sulking inside the corner of my room and looking back to our memories which I knew he didn't care about anymore.

Two words, six letters, easy to say but hard to do; move on.

I'm dying to move on from him. I want to forget him as soon as I can. It's just so unfair that he's already happy without me while I'm still here, stuck on the memories that will never happen anymore. I'm desperate as hell and if only I could turn back time, I would've not let myself fall for him because of the pain he had left me.

Until one day, when I was desperately asking God to help me forget my ex, Calvin came into my life.

At first, he was just a stranger, pestering the hell out of me until he witnessed my emotional breakdown about my ex, Ian. I thought he would judge me for being such a fool and crybaby but I was wrong. Eventually, he became my haven, lifting me up whenever I'm having emotional breakdowns. And as time goes by, he told me that he couldn't take it anymore to see me crying so he offered to help me forget Ian by following his so-called 10 steps which I concluded he just browsed on the Internet.

But still, I agreed. Trying won't hurt, right?

First, acceptance. He told me to accept the fact that my ex and I are already over and I should stop overthinking the what-ifs and what have beens in our relationship. He knew that it would be hard for me to accept things, so he gave me a writing notebook and told me to write all my bottled-up feelings there. And it helped me a lot. I even unconsciously wrote poems about it and I was damn surprised! Some stanzas were even rhymed.

Second, let go. He told me to let go of my ex and that includes the memories we shared together for two damn years. But just like the first one, it became difficult for me and thankfully, he understood it. Who would've not, right? I invested so much time, effort, money, and tears just to make our relationship work but in the end, we lose it in just a blink of an eye. Letting go will never be easy. It feels even impossible. But Calvin helped me. His heart-touching words of wisdom comforted me. He lectured me that I should also value myself too. That I need to be treated and loved the way I deserve. And somehow, that motivated me to finally forget my ex. He's right. Sooner or later, his name won't affect me anymore.

Third, enjoy. One time, he persuaded me to go outside and enjoy the outdoors. However, I was hesitant because I was too lazy to go outside my room. But the next day, I just found my girlfriends downstairs, telling me to bond and go shopping with them. I was so delighted. I never realized how much I missed them not until I saw these gals! And what's more surprising was that it was Calvin who invited them. So, I asked him, "Why?" but he just asked me in return saying, "Ilang beses bang pumasok sa isipan mo si Ian no'ng kasama mo sila?" And I was stunned. When I was with my friends, my ex only came up inside my mind once or twice―unlike when I was alone, lying on my bed. And I felt even happier, thinking that I was slowly improving with the help of Calvin.

Fourth, make new memories. One time, Calvin invited me to go to the amusement park with him but I was reluctant. Amusement parks became one of my favorite spots because of my ex. We usually date there together. And if I'll go with Calvin, I'll just remember my ex on the whole ride and that's the last thing I want to happen. But Calvin was damn persistent until he finally made me say yes. I thought it will be a disaster but then again, I was wrong. He distracted me from thinking of my ex and we enjoyed the whole day, riding on various rides I never tried before and playing different games that I enjoyed a lot. And at the end of our trip, that's when I realized how much Calvin is fun to be with.