A Thousand Words

05 - Letting Go

I wonder what people might think about a broken relationship? Is it about their memories? Or is it about their feelings? To be honest, I never want to know what people might think about it because I know one thing for sure that in every broken relationship there would always be pain and heartache, and I have to admit that I am still mending my heart, trying to forget the pain, even though I act as I am strong but can you see what inside my heart?

The silence between us slowly makes me suffocate, I just want to run away from him, run from everything but I do know that every problem would not solve by itself if by running away, so rather than run, I should stay and solve this once and for all.

"After everything, you do to me and her, you just throw this piece of shit towards my face and you think that everything would be okay? Aren't you a little selfish there?" Suddenly Hyder looked at me with so much hatred and condemnation on his eyes.

I gave him a bitter smile, I memorized everything about him and do everything for him but he would always see me as his sister, a childhood friend but now everything has changed since I make a deal with the devil inside me. I become the villainess in front of him.

"Is this another stupid joke you throw at me or is it another stupid trick to attract me towards you? Huh! I'm telling you, Eva, this isn't working! You only gain my hatred and nothing else!" he said while he throws the paper unto the table. His face was red with anger and somehow everything he does makes my heart in pain. Looks like everything I do would never be true in front of his eyes.

I took my glass and swirled it slowly, the water will glisten every once in a while when the light touches the surface but my emotions are just like the water inside the glass, if I follow my old self, I probably already smash everything and fight him verbally and threaten him, he knows that behind my back is a strong backing even though I am an illegitimate daughter from the Brooks family that is why he will always back down when I start to threaten him, but now I just look at him, doing nothing but swirling my glass slowly

"Why aren't you saying anything Eva? You want this marriage and I gave you marriage, you want sex and I gave you sex, you want me to stay away from Rachel and I follow what you said and now you suddenly want a divorce, is this some kind of play for you!" He raised his voice and somehow I was pissed, isn't this what he wants the most? Isn't this what he wants from me?

"Isn't this what you want? To break away from me, to stay away from this devil! Now I am giving it to you, why are questioning me about this?" I looked at him with anger.

"Or are you waiting for me to kneel in front of you and Rachel to apologize for everything I've done? NO! It's not going to happen; I am not going to say I am sorry for everything I've done towards you and Rachel, in fact, I am quite satisfied that all of my plans have been successful and I manage to get you to marry me but now what left inside my heart is emptiness and loneliness, what is the point for having a marriage when the man I snatched away from her isn't even looking at me?

Do you think everything I do is a play for you? Don't you ever realize that I have loved you since high school? I have done everything for you so you will look at me but what I get? Nothing!" I said while trying to control my tears. I've done it, I tell him everything which I never tell him in my past life, I confessed to him so he will know my true feelings.

Hyder was dumbfounded, he looked at me with a surprise and shock and I know he never realized my feelings because he always thought me as his sister, so now after telling him this, he was surprised and speechless. A lot of emotions can be seen inside his eyes, as for anger, I couldn't even see it anymore, it vanishes just like that.

I wait for him to respond to me or at least say anything after I told him but no, he just looks at me with disbelief. Suddenly I felt stupid and I felt that I've become a joke in front of him, I sighed a little before I stood up.