SHREK X MAO ZEDONG STRIPPER EDITION

i love you

"i love you kitten." 

her eyes immediately opened wide, while his softly closed.
"he.. loves me?" shrek thought to himself. "he can't love me. he's married. he can never divorce her. it's not like i'll ever be with him. especially when ted is so heartbroken. why can't this be easier? he probably didn't anyways. this is all happening so fast? it's only been a week since i've known him?"
shrek slowly got up and grabbed his coat. he opened the door and looked back and the handsome man who fell asleep peacefully knowing that she was in his arms. she turned away, walked out the door, and shut it quietly.
her heels clicked on his long driveway as she got in her-
she left her car in the parking lot at the strip club. great.
"so i guess i'm walking home.." she sighed. it was the dead of night, so black you could barely see. the moon was new. she tried to take out her phone, but it had died.
"maybe i should stay at the house at least?"
she turned her head back to look at the lavish mansion where he was sleeping calmly. she thought of how he thought she was still sleeping with him.
"no i can't go back there."
she started to walk down the road. he didn't live very far, in fact she grew up around this area. she knew where she was headed but it was so dark she could barely make out the street signs. her heels had started to hurt her feet. it was only a five mile walk, but it seemed to be taking forever. she started to think about him again.
"he doesn't really love me. we just met. maybe he has a crush on me or something. maybe. but there's no way. is that even humanly possible? i mean it's not like i love him.
...
do i?
...
n-no that's ridiculous of course i dont."

she was so busy thinking of him and all of the possible endings to their story. could he ever love him? he didn't even notice a car roll by. the man inside cat called.
"hey gorgeous what do you think you're doing so late at night?"
she didn't respond. she was still in a daze. she didn't even hear him. he got out of his car and walked up to her.
"hey why don't you answer me whore?"
"oh i'm sorry are you talking to me?"
"no shit dumbass who else would i be fucking talking to. i've seen you around that strip club. the famous one."
"oh yeah? i uh... i work there"
"that's what i was implying." he rolled his eyes. "wasi've seen you dance. not many people have such... talent."
he got close to her and put his hand at her waist.
"th..thank you uhm well anyways i better get going.." she turned to walk away.
"ah not so fast" he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her closer. "why don't we go back to my place?"
"absolutely not."
"baby come on it'll be fun right?"
"i said no."
"i don't care what you have to say." he took her arm and dragged her towards his car. another car then appeared in the road. she screamed for help. the driver stopped and mao stepped out of the car.
"of course it's you" she said happily.
it was so dark that mao couldn't see the man's face, but he decided to give a swing anyways. a tooth knocked onto the ground and the man stumbled over into the bright headlights of his car.

"dad?"