The Mean Men That Women Have To Deal With

(5)

"One, don't call me that, and two, it's Leslie. What's your name, babe?"

He raises an eyebrow in interest and smirks a little before saying, "it's Jason."

"Well it's nice to meet you Jason."

"Likewise ms. Leslie."

He look exactly like his father and I'm not sure whether I like that or absolutely hate it. He's in a dark grey sweatshirt and matching joggers. He doesn't look my age at all. In fact he looks much older.

"Babe, come baaaaack," says a girls voice from inside his room. Ew don't tell me....

"Did I.. interrupt something?"

"No, she was just leaving." And turning his into the room he says to the floating voice, "right, Katy, you were just leaving?"

"What? No!" She says. At her answer, I'm pretty sure he was lying.

"Yes, you were now get out." There's a tight smile on his face and he says it through gritted teeth like he's mad. She whines but eventually shows up behind him out of the dark room. She kisses him goodbye on the check while he's looking straight into my eyes. I seem to have forgotten how to talk once she leaves. It's silent between us. Too silent. It seems like he won't say anything, he's just standing there a hand on the door and his eyes on me. All over me. I can feel them on my face and then trailing down to my legs and my white socks and then back up to my chest, staying there for a bit too long. I'm staring at the floor and it makes me feel hyper aware of his eyes. The floor doesn't swallow me up like I wish for it to. It never does.

"Ummm.... I'm just gonna back to my room," I say fumbling with my thumbs and I finally look up into his eyes. They looking at me. But not just at me. They're looking into me like he wants to figure out what I'm made of. What makes me and what doesn't. And it's not that I don't like his eyes on me, because they're beautiful, but it's the way he moves them up and down my body once more before turning around and walking right back into his dark room that I don't like. Like he already knows everything about me without even having a proper conversation. I hate it.

***

In the evening my mom had called me down for dinner. Though I wasn't hungry, because now a days I never am, I still make an effort and go downstairs to eat. The food looks expensive, like in one of those fancy restaurants where you need to make reservations a month in advance.

David and my mom are already seated at the table. They're right next to each other on the long table, their plates empty like they were waiting for something. Me, I realize. And then, him, i remember. I already forgot his name and it's not a surprise honestly. My mom smiles at me and points at the seat across from her and says, "sit sweetie."

I do. I sit on the comfortable chair and scan my eyes over the food picking out what I would grab and maybe poke my fork at. "Everything looks delicious," I lied. These days I have zero to no appetite. 'These days' being since my dad left.

"They do don't they?" My Mom says all enthusiastic and this puts a real smile on my face. Not one of the fake ones that I give David or his son, or the people at school, or the strangers on the street. But a real smile. The one that brings my cheekbones up and crinkles my eyes like hers. I think that's the only thing I got from her, and I absolutely love it. The rest I got from my dad and sometimes I despise the way I look.

David's son finally arrives at the table after about five minutes. He's wearing something different from earlier and his hair is damp, like he just took a shower. "Dad, ms. Miranda," he nods at them and then sits down next to me.

"Hello son. Have you met her daughter, Leslie?" He motions at me with his hand and the son looks at me and smiles.

"Yeah, actually. We met upstairs a few hours ago. Didn't we ms. Leslie?"

"I'm yea we did, except I'm terrible at names and I can't seem to remember yours for the life of me."

He chuckles slightly like he thinks it's a joke, "oh you're serious!! It's Jason."

"Oooooohhhhh!!! Yea you look like a Jason," I exclaim nodding my head.

"Okay, well, shall we start eating?" David says motioning towards the array of food. He receives answers if yes and nods and we all dive in.

I grab a couple of things and put them on my plate. I stare at the food and contemplate eating for today. It looks delicious but whether it would stay down is a different story. I haven't taken my meds today and I'm feeling a bit drowsy. Since my dad left my anxiety got worse and I stopped eating. my meds help with the anxiety and help me get an an appetite so I don't die. I only take them when I feel the anxiety kicking in but I today was a pretty calm day and so I didn't bother with them. But now I don't know if I can eat. Especially because I feel a pair of eyes on me.

I look up from my plate and see David and mom talking and then I turn to my left and meet his eyes. They're intense it makes me want to cower in his gaze. He's looking into me again. He's figuring me out again. I can feel the hands of anxiety crawling inside me. Reaching at my throat. His eyes are too much to bear, they're too much for my fragile heart and it shows by the way it crumbles away and I slip. The fork slips out of my hands and my vision becomes dark and blurry. She has reached my throat. She reached my head and I reach for anything really. That anything being the table cloth. I'm breathing hard like I just got out of water after a long time. I'm not looking at him anymore. I can't really see anything anymore. But I can still feel my mom put a hand on my shoulder. I think she says something but I can't understand her. She sounds too far away and like she's underwater. I try to grab at anything, to steady myself but my hands are clammy, they won't work. They claw and they scratch but they won't grab. I can feel a burning sensation on my face and I realize I'm clawing at myself. I feel my mom try to get me on my feet but they give out and instead I feel my hip hit the floor. Laying there in the ground, I try to focus on my breathing. I try to focus on the cold floor against my cheek. My mom is by my side again and she slips a finger in my mouth. A pill, I realize, is under my tongue now. My breath stabilizes slightly but I my vision is still murky. I decide to to just close my eyes. I still can't feel any strength to get up and go to my room, so instead I lay there. I feel a pair of arms around me and then the cold floor under me disappears. I kind of wished whoever was carrying me had left me there, the cold felt nice. I try to open my eyes but all I see is a dark figure. It couldn't possibly be my mom. She's not strong enough to carry me like this: Bridal style, and with all my dead weight, I'm not hanging on to anything. I'm still too weak. Eventually I think we reach my room and my boy is gently placed on the bed. And so I let my mind slip away. I close my eyes and leave them closed and focus on my breath being normal again. Until finally I enter a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello!!! I hope you like this chapter!! It's deep but it'll only get more angst from here so I hope you like angst :)

Also! Guy at top is Jason ;)

Please vote and comment and thank you for reading!!!!!!