Waves (KiriBakuDeku)

Chapter 18

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me

Izuku's POV~

As I've mentioned earlier, I had only been to their place once before, and it wasn't for a very long period of time. So when I woke up the next morning, all alone, in a bed I hadn't even actually seen before, I kind of freaked out.

Of course I didn't even remember everything that happened last night. I just didn't think about it. It was probably just me trying to block the whole thing out. Kind of like, if I don't remember it, it didn't actually happen.

I was only awake for a few minutes, looking around and trying to think of an escape plan if need be, when the bedroom door opened. Eijirou was the one to walk in, Katsuki no where to be seen.

We both froze as he walked in. He didn't seem to think I'd be awake, but I was suddenly hit with flashes of what had happened the night before. The pain in my chest flared up again at the memories. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to deal with the harsh reality I had been dealt.

"Izu..."

"Don't. I just want to go home." My voice was quiet, but held a sharp edge to it.

The faint look of hope I had detected on his features when he walked in, was washed away with my words. It hurt, and I hated it.

I hated that I cared. I hated that I held even an ounce of sympathy for them. They lied to me! They used me. They were both criminals. The worst of the worst.

I hated it.

I hated what they did.

I hated that I couldn't hate them.

No matter how hard I tried, whenever I looked at them, all I saw was Eijirou's soft look while telling me that I need to eat something and get some sleep. All I saw was Katsuki's faint smile whenever we cuddled. I saw their small bickering. Their jealousy, that I couldn't help but appreciate. The few hours we'd spend watching tv at my apartment and goofing around.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see them as Zero and Red.

All I saw was them.

"Please, just talk to us. Let us explain everything, then if you don't like what you hear, you can leave." Eijirou pleaded.

I wanted to say no. I wanted sobbadly to decline and storm out. To go straight to the authorities and turn them both in.

But I couldn't.

I loved them, so god damn much it hurt. I needed to know why. I needed to know what could have possibly happened to make them villains. I needed to know how the two boys I fell in love with, were capable of the things Red and Zero had done.

"Fine." I gave in.

I didn't miss the hope that took over his features once again, as he left the room to grab Katsuki. I was ashamed to admit, I was happy he had hope. It didn't feel right seeing him so depressed and giving up.

He was back in two minutes or less, Katsuki trailing behind him, neither making eye contact with me. The room went silent, none of us had any clue of how to start the conversation. After awhile of no one talking, I almost spoke up, but out of spite I stayed quiet. I'd be damned if I was going to be the one to start a fight they caused.

"We didn't want it to happen like this." Katsuki seemed to be the one to get most fed up with the quiet, breaking it first.

I snapped my attention over to him, I had previously been messing with the comforter on the bed, finding it more interesting than the silence that had surrounded us. "How would you have preferred me finding out? You both getting arrested and being sent to prison for the rest of your lives? Was that the most appealing option?" So I was still bitter, clearly. They would have to accept that, because I had every damn right to be bitter.