loosing game | daniel seavey

chapter fourteen

"Hey," His voice was raspy and dry. I stood from the floor and began walking towards my room. "I-I'm glad you called."

"I think we just needed some space to clear our minds. But I'm ready to talk if you are." I sat on the edge of my bed, thinking back to what Crawford had said. I think he likes you. I doubted it, but it kept running through my mind like a dream.

"I am." Daniel breathed deeply. I could just picture his scratching the back of his neck like he did when he was nervous. His eyes would be that medium shade of blue. I smiled to myself thinking of it. "I should start off by apologizing. I'm sorry I said I didn't need your help, and that I kinda freaked out like that. That day when you mentioned love... It just brought back something back to my mind and I got a little hazy. Even if it was about your cat, I just get weird about that topic."

My heart fell to the floor as his voice got weaker as he spoke. It made me wonder who would've ever hurt such a perfect boy like him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's fine. You wouldn't have known anyways. I don't really talk about it with anyone." He sounded a little better, ending it with a light laugh.

"And I should apologize too. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. And I shouldn't have been ignoring you for the past two weeks. I just didn't know what to do." I sighed and laid back into my bed.

"I stopped drinking. I realized it brings out the worst in me and that it's not only hurting myself, but others too. I haven't touched a bottle since that night."

"That's the first step of recovering, realizing how it affects you. I'm proud of you, Daniel. And you know you always have me if you need help." I crawled under the blankets. It was already reaching 12:30.

"I know, thank you." He laughed a bit and I could just see his smile glowing. "Now tell me how you've been, I missed you."

We talked for what felt like forever. The conversations were endless. He talked about how he had been working on music a lot more rather than going out and he was really invested in this song he was currently working on. I told him how I started looking more into photography and was thinking about going for it. Then it led to us asking each other random questions.

I sat up as the line went silent. Frank rubbed his face against my arm. I pet his body before lazily standing up and opening the glass door that led to my balcony.

"H-have you ever been in love?" Daniel had said.

The question slid through the phone as I walked onto the balcony. It was unexpected and surprising, mainly because he was just telling me he gets weird about this topic. The Los Angeles lights went on for what looked like forever. The stars above shined down and twinkled as they always did, but tonight they seemed a little more brighter.

"Austin Calhoun." I answered, knowing exactly where I was going with my answer. "He sat right in front of me in Mrs. Hernandez's third grade class. He was everything my 9 year old heart wanted. From the always messy red hair to the freckles that covered the bridge of his nose and cheeks. We never spoke but I fell in love with him. When he moved the next year I was absolutely devastated."

"Funny," Daniel laughed softly. On the other side of the phone I could just see his lips curl into a smile. I pressed the phone between my ear and my shoulder and folded my arms.

"But if you were looking for a serious answer, no. i don't think i have."

I wasn't one to really date in high school. I would talk to boys, obviously, but it would always become a one sided thing where I'd want a relationship and they'd want a sex object. Disappointing, but all high school boys were.

And when I moved to Los Angeles with Aedan, it wasn't as if I was looking for love to jump out at me. I moved here with my brother and watched him live out his dream while searching for mine. Love was the last thing on my mind at that moment. It kind of scared me in fact. The idea of putting your all into something to not see the other person isn't doing the same. Or the heartbreak and pain that would follow.

I wanted to ask him the same, if he had ever been in love. But I remembered how he freaked out the last time, so I waited for him to say something else.

"I was once." He sighed through the phone. I closed my eyes and pictured him next to me. his tall, lean body leaning against the railing. his blue eyes would look perfect against the darkness of the sky. "But that's a story for another day."

"Do you'll ever find love again?" The cold breeze brushed against my arms, sending chills up my skin.

"I think I could. Sometimes it could be right in front of us without us knowing."