My Idol | (Completed)

Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

#Jealousy

Luhan

I THINK my plan’s working. Since I’ve got here, I just thought kung paano ko siya makakausap ulit.

Actually, I heard the director about the movie adaptation of the novel and it’s going to happen in her country, the Philippines. At the same time, I am glad that she also pursued writing stories. It’s a good time since I will be able to see her again. I really miss her.

That’s why I even do things na hindi ko pa nagagawa before. I volunteered myself just to join the cast. And it’s a good thing na wala pa naman daw siyang nahahanap na lead role. I was not expecting to portray the lead role. It’s alright for me if I’ll be an extra or a supporting character. My only purpose is that I have a good reason to go to Philippines and that is filming.

But I’ll do anything for her. I’ll do anything just to see her again. I’m going to make her mine even if she already had a boyfriend.

The moment she stepped on my office, she already put a mark on my heart and it’s making me hard to let go. It’s like if she’s going to forced herself escaping from that mark, it’ll hurt. She’s mine in the first place. And I’m going to get it no matter what happens.

I felt threatened and I am damn jealous. I saw her hugging a familiar figure. But I’m not yet starting. If she’s not going to notice all my efforts, then I have to do and think of another ways. At first, I didn’t know if it’s gonna work. I didn’t even know if she had feelings for me but as I remember, she rejected Chanyeol. Come to think of it, who would reject someone like Chanyeol?

I saw her flushed red when I put a pizza on her plate and I smiled. But she ignored it. She made an excuse that she’s not hungry. Not hungry? I hissed yet chuckled when I saw her by accident outside eating kung saan hindi siya makikita ng lahat. She was hiding. Obviously, she’s hiding from me. And avoiding me…

I’m hoping that my plans will work. I ask the director if she could add some scenes na wala sa script, just for a favor. Actually, a big favor from me because she has no right to change some scenes kung wala siyang hininging permission sa nagsulat- spefically, Maydine.

I was about to kiss the girl infront of me. Naramdaman ko ang kanyang panginginig at pamumula nang papalapit na an gaming mga labi. Please, director. You have to stop this. I was looking at Maydine from my peripheral vision. I wonder what expression she’s gonna make- seeing me kissing someone. I heaved a deep breath when the director shouted ‘Cut!’ That was close.

I smiled nang makita kong umiwas siya ng tingin. Umalis pa siya sa kanyang kinatatayuan. Kausap niya si Director Bona. Probably, they’re talking about the scene.

Sila na ba nung lalaking iyon? My fist formed like a ball. Panira siya, now my plan’s working, saka siya susulpot. Mas madali ko sigurong matatanggap kung iba ang makakatuluyan ni Maydine, wag lang iyong Blue na iyon. I knew there was something in him. I knew that he looked Maydine in a different way and I have felt it. But he looked sad?

Kung sana hindi na lang ako naging mahina. Kung sana hindi ko na lang pinairal ang ego ko. Kung sana hindi na ako natakot na ipagtapat sa kanya iyong tunay kong nararamdaman.

Eh di sana siguro maayos ang lahat nang hindi ako nasasaktan ng ganito. I’m such a failure. Siguro kong pinilit ko na makapasok sa loob ng bahay ni Maydine nung araw bago siya umalis papuntang airport.

(flashback)

Maybe if I’d realized my feelings sooner and confessed my feelings, maybe it’s not yet too late. I look like a wreck and smelled so bad cause’ I’m reek of alcohol. But I want Maydine to see my condition right now, para hindi kaaawaan. I want to explain if it’s love but now I know that it’s real. People might see me as crazy, mind as well, I really am crazy of her.