Sometimes...

~ Chapter 6 ~

As much as I wanted to crawl and hide under the stairs for dinner, I didn't. It was actually pretty nice; just a casual tv dinner of mac'n'cheese. The noodles were shaped as Spongebob characters, which went perfect with what Xavier picked out to watch. 

My dad didn't come home that night, so we had the tv for what seemed like forever. My dad is a policeman, so his work varied daily. Usually he'd be home in time to catch the latest sports game, but tonight he must have had extra work. I wasn't worried, and either was my mom or brother, but we decided to stay up until he got home.

"Matthew, want to stay and play a game of cards?" Mom asked.

"Sure," he replied.

My brother got out the cards. "Kori! You pick the game!"

"Ha, alright. Then I'll pick my favorite - rummy," I said.

Matthew jumped in, "Hm, a game of knowledge and slyness. Makes sense why it's your favorite."

Mom looked at me, "He knows you well, Kori." She winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, let me guess. You can guess my favorite animal with that information too?"

Matthew nodded. "A fox, am I right?"

I sat wide-eyed. He was right! I tried playing it cool by saying it was a lucky guess.

We played several rounds of rummy, with Xavier coming out as the final winner.

"Wow little man, you sure are good!" Matthew patted my brother. "Anyways, I better get going. Thanks for having me. See you tomorrow, Kori!" 

Matthew left, and I picked up the cards. My mom led Xavier to his room for the night, making sure he actually went to sleep instead of getting up and playing with his toys. I went to bed shortly after.

*****

The next couple of weeks I had more socializing that I needed. Matthew started walking me to my classes, stopping by at my locker to say hi, and walking with me home on most  days. Sometimes he would come over and hang out, maybe eat dinner with us, so on. Each day it became easier for me to accept it. I think I made a friend.

I had soon accepted it as I said, but, I continued trying to push him away out of habit. I tried leaving my classes early to escape him, sitting in the corner during lunch, grabbing my things out of my locker before my last class so I could instantly run home... things like that. 

As much at it hurt me to see him upset, it hurt less than getting close to him. 

I felt like a monster every now and then, thinking about how mean I must be to push away such an innocent person. I tried to ignore that thought, except it was getting stronger each time I saw him. 

Matthew didn't understand, yet he didn't question me about it. He stopped coming over, and soon enough I stopped seeing him completely.

*****

"Kori, you have seemed lost for awhile now. Is everything okay?" my mom asked.

"Yeah Mom, I'm fine," I smiled.

"I just thought you were pushing Matthew away, which wasn't fair to him, or you."

"So what if I was?" I didn't mean it to come out with an attitude of remorse, but once the words were said there was no taking them back. 

My Mom sighed. "You know, having friends isn't so bad," she tried. "And it just so happens Matthew was a lucky find. He could have helped you if you let him."

I nodded. "Oh well, he's gone now, right? It doesn't matter. Even if I did let him, he would have moved away just like he did, and I would have fallen right back into the hole I have dug for myself. Might as well stay down here and make it home."

I looked out the living room window to see the newly vacant house next door.