Hopelessly depressed by you

the storm of a tormented mind

The days have taken too long to pass. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore. I have no desire to do anything .... to talk to anyone ... Life has lost its meaning and the world has lost its color without Kurt by my side ... without being able to hear his voice calling me ... saying that He loved me.

Walking the hallways of McKinley High has been torture ... because everywhere I look, there are memories of the times I spent with Kurt ... memories of our happy moments ... everything reminds me of Kurt! I just came here because of Kurt! and now I lost him ... and all the reason for being here in this college ...

alias ... without Kurt I lost the reason for "being" here ... in this world ...

Kurt was the only one who really made me want to live ... he was the only one who gave me reasons to keep on existing ... fighting this mist that takes over my soul ... this shadow that takes over my mind .. .

No one understands me as he understood me ... New Direction even tries to include me and feign interest ... but for what ... they have their own life and their own problems .... and how much drama!

UGHHHHH .... already tired of trying to follow the couples back and forth ... it's too much for my head ... incidentally .... what a headache! This does not pass!

And still have these auditions for this year's musical .... GREASE ... I'm not in the mood to participate ... not even with the strength to face hours and hours of rehearsal ... I just want to go to my house, throw in my bed and sleep .... sleep days straight if you could ... die to the world .... die ...

Would anyone notice if I suddenly disappeared? Or would it be something like "Ahhh he was an interesting person!" and after a few days life would be back to normal?!?!?! .... probably...

Would Kurt know? Would he care? Probably ... he's a decent person, unlike me I'm a trash ... a useless traitor ... UGHHHH

ARGH .... lunch time again ... here comes Tina and Sam ... here they come staring at me and asking if I won't eat! ... don't they realize that I don't need babysitters? I know very well what I need and have to do .... I'm not hungry ... and I'm fine without stuffing my face with food ... Ok it's been a while since I've had a meal right. .. incidentally ... I don't even remember when was the last time I ate? ... But it doesn't matter ... I'm not hungry ... and my stomach is really strange, if I eat I will end up feeling sick and may even vomit ... No one wants to see me feeling sick in the middle of lunch ... no I need to disturb you more than I already bother with my simple presence ...

and there's still the glee club later .... the auditions ... the presidency meeting ... the heroes club ... and ... and ... I know I'm missing something ... I know that There is something else I need to do ... but this headache doesn't let me remember .... ARGGGGHHHHH .... I just needed to get some rest ... I think I'll drop my head here and get some rest ... this headache is giving me a dizziness ... Yeah ... I'll get some rest ... it must be just the pressure of this bunch of things I have to do yet ...

just get some rest and everything gets better ... at least this headache will get better ... I think 

..."BLAINE! ..... BLAINE! ...."

WOW ..... where am I? Looks like there's a tornado in my head shaking everything and making me shake all over .... ahhh ... and this headache that's even worse ... ops .... it's Sam ... but the what happened? ... Why is he looking at me with that face? What is he doing in my room .... ow ... ow ... I'm not home?!? !! We're in the middle of McKinkey's cafeteria ... but ... but ... I don't remember coming to school? Or ... left home ...

"What is it Sam?" - I have to pretend that it's ok otherwise he will insist on dragging me to the ward ... and that's the last thing I need ... no ... the worst thing would have to explain to my parents why I went to school in the ward .... even worse will have to stand listening to the sermon if the nurse asks someone to come pick me up .... I even hear my father "Blaine ... you can not be a real man once na visa and not be disturbing my service like a crying baby? "...

"It's ok Sam! I just didn't sleep well tonight doing my homework!" ... "That's all Sam!" ... "You can believe it" ... "No need to worry about me!" ... even because I'm not worth it Sam, if you knew what I was able to do with your friend ... if I had the decency to tell you, you wouldn't be looking at me with that worried face of yours. .. incidentally, you wouldn't be staring at me ...

Live ... save for the signal ... now just take a few classes ... to say in passing I can not remember what they are ... but also do not care at the moment ... just want to rest and not be thinking about nothing else ... nobody else ... not even Kurt ...

Kurt ...