Without You

A Huge Part

Sam barely got any sleep, not because the couch was uncomfortable, but because the thought of truly hurting Freddie was making her feel awful. Just like the other two times, Sam was tossing and turning unable to sleep.

The sunshine hit her face and she knew it was finally morning. She threw off the blanket and rushed to the front door then she ran across the hall to knock on the door to their apartment. "Please answer the door."

She saw the doorknob turn, but then it stopped. She knocked again.

"Sam, it's too early. I don't wanna fight. I'll come over later, I guess."

She rested her hand on the wall by their door. "I-I don't wanna fight either. I want to talk. I want to tell you why- why you were in my act."

The door opened and she saw his tired face and red eyes. He saw her unkempt hair and pajamas.

"Cute PJs." He chuckled.

Sam looked down at her "Everything is better with Bacon" shirt and the litte pigs on her pajama bottoms and smirked. "Yeah, well, my boyfriend has good taste." She frowned. "Or my ex-boyfriend? A-Are you still my-"

Freddie sighed. "Yes. I'm not happy with you, but I don't wanna break up. Not over this. But, why Sam?"

"Can we talk inside?"

Freddie walked into their living room leaving the door open for her. "Talk."

"Look, you're part of my act, okay." Sam said walking over to the couch he was sitting down on. She sat down beside him. "But, not because I wanted to embarrass you in front of a bunch of people." She sighed. "Because I didn't mean to I just- You're just- You're a huge part of my life so you're a huge part of my act. That's all it was. You're my boyfriend and you make me laugh so I told a bunch a people about it." She looked down.

Freddie raised his eyebrows. "Oh."

"I didn't want to hurt you. I just- They say use your life to help you stay true to yourself and the biggest part of my life is you. I love you, Freddie."

Freddie smiled. "I love you too, Sam. I'm sorry I got so upset and ruined your big night. I just thought it was like when you ruined my application to camp. I thought it was all just a joke to you. That I was just a joke to you."

Sam let out a nervous chuckle. "Well, truth bomb time. I, um, I didn't mess up that application to be funny or to pick on you." His eyes widened. "I did it because, because I didn't want you to leave. I thought you'd go to that camp realize your better, smarter, than all of us, mainly me, and not want to come back. I thought you'd find where you belong and I'd never see you again so I sabotaged you. I'm sorry." She said sincerely.

Freddie took her hand. "Why didn't you just say that back then?"

"I don't know. Your mom was there and Carly and Gibby. I didn't say much of anything. I'm not good with feelings and emotions and being vulnerable. You know that. I'm only slightly good with Carly and I'm trying to be better with you, but right now I'm not."

Freddie started chuckling, then it grew to full out laughter.

"Hey, I'm trying to serious, okay?!" Sam huffed. "It's not funny Freddork!"

He stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, Sam, but don't you even realize?"

She shrugged. "Realize what?"

He chuckled again and she smacked him. "Ow, sorry. Realize that you have already been vulnerable around me. Many times!" He emphasized.

She scoffed. "Not that many times."

"Yeah, you have!" He blurted out. "Sam, what do you think sharing our first kiss was? A vulnerable moment."

She shrugged. "Not that vulnerable."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, but what about Missy? You coming to me because that awful girl was trying to push you and Carly apart and you didn't want to lose your best friend?"

"Well yeah, but, I mean-"

"And the first time you admitted you had feelings for me." Freddie cut her off. "And when you admitted you still had feelings for me. Face it, Sam, you have already let me in and I'm still here." Freddie grinned. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sam smiled and leaned in to kiss her boyfriend.

"Wow. You actually said that without mumbling or stuttering." He laughed.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Shut up."