short stories

Being Strong Hurts Sometimes

What am I supposed to do when the ones I'm supposed to trust only hurt me? I let them in because I thought they could help me but all they do is say "Oh that's so sad, you'll feel better." and move on. I can talk however much I want, but it doesn't work if the person I'm talking to isn't listening. It's hard to open up to anyone in the first place. "Oh I feel the same way!" "I'm sure it's not that bad, just remember the good stuff." "Stop whining!" "Why are you being so stupid?" "Ah really? That's too bad, but you'll never guess what happened to me!" "Why are you always talking about yourself?" "Ugh your such an attention whore, why can't you grow up!" "Are you ok?" "You should tell someone!" "I'll help you however I can!" "I'll make sure your never sad again!" "Hmm I don't know why your talking to me about it, I can't help you." "You should get help." "Why don't you just talk to your family?" "Ugh can you stop bringing this up?" "Stop talking! Your making me depressed." "Just give up then" "why are you so sad all the time?" "Your so weird!" "Just kill yourself if your so sad." "Your just exaggerating, your life isn't half as bad as mine." "Just think of all those people who have it worse than you." "Why are you such a baby? Get some self-control." All the things people say... can't you just listen without making so many comments? I get that your probably tired of this sad depressed person you keep talking to, but please have patience with me! If you just let me vent maybe you'll understand me, rather than just assuming I'm exaggerating or looking for attention. Yes, it's probably the thousandth time you've heard this from me, but it's because I have no other way to feel better. I don't know how to be happy, I don't know how to suddenly feel better or forget all the bad things. I'm sorry I can't help but focus on the bad things sometimes, it's just how I am. I know you probably think it's a joke or it can't be nearly as bad as I say, but it hurts so much and I don't know what to do with it. It's all true, I'm not joking or trying to make fun of someone else. I'm just trying to get it all out, because the longer I keep it inside the more it tears me up and it just hurts. It hurts so much to not be able to say anything to anyone, I can't tell my family! My family would either think it's their fault and make me feel even worse or just wouldn't care. "Just get better, stop making yourself feel this way." "Why are you still pretending?" I can't stand it anymore! Why can't you understand that I'm not faking it? I'm not trying to make you pity me, I just want to not be sad anymore. Making you sad doesn't make me feel better, I just don't know what else I can do! Stop telling me to feel better! I can't help being sad, it's just so all-consuming and painful. Please take into consideration that I might actually need help. Don't brush me off just because your bored of talking about it. It won't go away just because you ignore it, I can't just forget about it. And then to go and make fake promises about helping me and making sure I'm not sad, and then you just forget about me and my hurt. You move on so easily while I'm still stuck in the same place. Please stop making it so much harder for me to try and feel better.