Chapter II
Memories Under the Rain
I heard people talking downstairs, and I have this urge to open the door and reconnect with my family. I have missed them. It's been so long since I last stepped outside my room.
I forced myself to get up and went to the window. The thick curtain blocked out the light, preventing it from entering my room. I used to love it, but now I'm starting to dislike it.
Is it okay to open it? To let the light wander my room?
No. It is not okay. If I open it, it means I have already moved on. I shouldn't move on. I'm the one responsible for his death. I'm the one who killed Samuel, and there's no way for me to be happy.
"Clara, are you ready?"
"Just a sec!"
"You are going to be late, Clara!"
"Wait!"
My mom and my sister named Clara panicked. For sure, mom is going to drop Clara in her school.
Clara is my younger sister. She is a seventeen-year-old girl who loves to study and has never shown interest in boys. She is a lovely girl and we were very close to each other. She always loved staying by my side, and it pains me to remember how harsh I became towards her. I pushed her away and said hurtful things, causing her to hate me. My heart was in agony and I couldn't think clearly, even hurting my family.
I carefully pulled the curtain back and allowed my eyes some room to see outside. My dad was chatting with our neighbor as my mom and Clara appeared. Dad smiled, bid goodbye to our neighbor, and then got into the car.
I missed dad.
The day came to a close. I stayed by the window, watching people walking on the street. The sunset was so beautiful. The pastel colors mixed, and my heart literally leaped with happiness. I can't remember the last time I stayed here to watch the sunset.
It's been so long since the last time I did this... I think.
It is already 7 in the evening. I slowly opened the door of my room and glanced outside. I hear my dad talking with my mom downstairs.
"Are you sure about this, Fred?"
"Yes. You know I have been waiting for this for almost a year. My papers are settled and I only have to wait for my boss' signal."
"I told you I can't let you go."
"I will leave for work, honey. Nothing will ever happen to me."
"But what about your two daughter? They will be lonely."
"They won't. You are here. Please take care of our children while I am away."
I shut the door and slowly sat on the floor, hugging my legs and resting my chin on my knees. Dad is leaving. For work. We haven't had a good conversation for so long. I want to talk to him. To at least say good bye but I don't know where to start.
Now I feel like I want to cry and just sleep to forget the pain.
I am afraid to cry. I am afraid to feel the pain again.
I wrapped myself with the blanket. My back is in pain because I don't have anything but this thick blanket when I sleep. This will go away soon.
I want to see him again: I said before I closed my eyes.
There is a soft hand touching my cheek. I opened my eyes and I saw him smiled at me. Then I realized that my head is on his lap. I sat up straight and couldn't look him in the eyes.
