When Pigs Fly

Revelations

Author's Note: I do not swear personally, so there is an asterix in place of a single letter in every swear word. Please enjoy the story!

Severus was enjoying the nice, soft bed he was in. He snuggled into the mattress further, content and happy. Before he remembered that the dorm beds were not soft at all. Before his eyes could shoot open from the sudden panic, he was interrupted by a sudden warm, heavy presence on his chest, that was actually making it hard to breathe.

He separated his eyelids only to see the extremely hot mass on his chest, namely Harry. Harry's face was barely an inch away from his papa, and once he saw that his papa was awake, he grinned broadly.

"Papa!" he cried in excitement, before moving forward and placing a sloppy wet kiss on what was supposed to be his cheek- he missed, spreading saliva over the corner of Severus' lips instead.

Severus promptly sat up, jostling Harry off his chest and onto his lap, as he wiped off the saliva with his hand. He groaned on the inside when he took in his surroundings. He had hoped all the stuff from yesterday had been a dream. Guess not.

The Slytherin was going to make his way to the bathroom, but before he could fully get off the bed, he felt a tug on his cloak (which he forgot to change out of), and he looked back to see the child holding the cloak in his fists, kneeling and grinning.

"Papa! You are up!" he cried again, excitement still not wavering. He held his arms out, wanting to be carried. Severus was about to deny him in favor of the bathroom, but then he stopped, debating. If he took Harry into the bathroom with him, he could get both of them ready quicker, and then he can relax for a bit before having to face the inevitable: breakfast in the Great Hall. With Harry.

Relenting, Severus picked Harry up, who started wriggling in excitement. He grabbed the handle to the bathroom and opened it, once again in awe at how large the bathroom was. He saw it last night when he tiredly brushed his teeth, but he didn't really acknowledge it at the time.

The bathroom did not follow a green theme, like the room, but rather a very soft, pastel purple and white. There was a large sink that could easily fit Harry inside if he wanted, with a stool underneath it, clearly for Harry to reach. The sink was surrounded by marble countertop, stretching a few feet in both directions. Several feet from it to the left was the toilet, already equipped with the child's potty training seat on top. Severus furrowed his brow, annoyed; He'd have to remove the seat everytime he needed to use it and place it back after he was finished. To the left of the toilet was the real masterpiece: both a shower and a large bathtub were ready to use, pristine, with different soaps and shampoos lining the inside of both.

Severus placed Harry on the countertop, then leaned down. "Harry, tell me honestly, because I will be very upset if you lie to me, and I have to deal with it later. Do you need to use the bathroom?"

Harry, still grinning up with joy at his papa, shook his head. "No potty!"

"Are you sure?" Harry nodded, wiggling on the counter. Severus sighed.

"Alright then." And then Severus stepped away from the boy, grabbing his toothbrush and swiftly brushing his teeth. He then place the stool in front of him, picking up Harry and placing him on it. The child's chin just barely reached over the edge of the countertop. Severus first handed the toothbrush to Harry, but after a few moments where it was clear that Harry had no clue what to do, the raven snatched it back, opening the child's mouth and brushing it himself.

God, what is my future self doing? He thought to himself as Harry was rinsing his mouth. The ramifications of what he had just said didn't register until a moment later, where he took a step back in shock, gasping softly and covering his mouth.