I won't lie when I say
I've battled depression
I don't suffer from it
I survive it, every day
some days the sadness
feels so deep and overwhelming
that I can feel it deep in my bones
and my heart feels like it's
far to heavy for this body
I feel tired and either I want to cry
(but I won't, or I don't)
and I can't sleep or I sleep too much
I find myself wishing
I could be someone else
someone better
prettier, smarter, kinder
but would it change?
Would I ever feel any differently
about myself?
I will distance myself
from the people I love
because I don't want them
to carry my burdens
when I can't explain
"what's wrong" with me
because I really want nothing more
than to feel like there's really
nothing wrong
It's not an excuse
and I have no reasons
but it's still there
so when I'm happy
I'm gonna smile so hard
and laugh a little harder
because I never know
when that wolf
will be creeping back at my door
carrying the darkness on his back
and ask me to just
go to sleep
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