English Love Affair » z.m au

20. "Please."

Zayn

Harry carried her into the car, while Louis barely managed to support my surrendered weight, putting me in the backseat, with her, sitting there, eyes closed, chest barely moving with fading breaths. I couldn’t tell if there had been any conversation in the car, the sound of my heart pounding, deafened my ears, as I stared at her miserable figure.

“ Scarlett.” Her name escaped my lips, as my trembling hand traced all the features that I had grown fond of.

God, I wanted her to correct me.

I wanted her to give me her famous eye roll, hit my head lightly, before smiling against her own will.

I waited for her to rise from the dead and just- be okay.

But she didn’t.

She just sat there.

Once we reached the hospital, the figure that had mocked me, was littered inside, Harry right behind it, while Louis physically pulled me behind him, his own stamina preventing me from collapsing.

Doctors, nurses, other patients moved around us, and it astonished me that life hadn’t stopped yet, unlike mine.

The outside world seemed to be perfectly functioning without Scarlett Jones, then why wasn’t I?

I felt Louis’ and Harry’s departure, but I couldn’t divert my attention from that image of her, drowning in her blood, the way I had been drowning in her.

“ Zayn,”

Dear God, don’t say it like that.

“ You need to listen to what the doctor has to say.”

 I felt a foreign hand giving my shoulder a squeeze, and no, I couldn’t take it.

“ Sir, I know you must be shaken up, but,”

I didn’t know what I was, but shaken up, didn’t feel anywhere close to it.

“ Can you please tell me what happened?”

I opened my mouth, pleading for my mind to recompose itself.

“ Zayn, please, anything will help us get to the bottom of this.”

Here came Louis’ ever so desperate voice again.

“ I don’t know.”

And I didn’t.

I didn’t know what the hell happened.

Him.

It had to be him.

“ He-her husband, he must have done this to her.”

“ Husband? The records I have say that Mrs. Adams is a widow.”

What?

“ Mrs. Adams? Who’s Mrs. Adams? I am talking about Scarlett here; Scarlett Jones.”

“ Sir, her name is Scarlett Adams, it changed back to her family name after her husband’s death.”

“ What the hell are you talking about? Her husband isn’t dead!”

“ I’m afraid there is a misunderstanding here, her file says that her husband had been killed about a year ago.”

What the fuck was he talking about?

I saw him, with her, at the restaurant that day.

He had been beating her up all through our relationship.

How could he be dead?

“ And I hate to tell you this, but these wounds, are all self-inflected.”

I heard audible gasps at the very back of my mind, but I didn’t know if I was the source of them, or if it was someone else.

I felt myself collapsing back onto the chairs, or did I?

I had lost all connection to my surroundings, to anything that was remotely hers, and everything that wasn’t.

My soul departed the body that still smelt of her, that was marked by her blood.

The heart that only bed for her, stopped all together.

The eyes that could only see her, had gone blind, the ears that only heard her voice, had gone deaf.

And I fell apart.

I surrendered.

“ Sir, I’m afraid you need to listen to this. When I said wounds, I wasn’t just talking about her current cuts and bruises, I was talking about every single trace of abuse or beatings on her body. It was all her own doings. Now, we stitched her up, and she is in the ICU due to the large amounts of blood she lost, but she should be fine. I’ll need to report this though, and she will probably need intensive psychological treatment, if not being emitted into a facility, because we can’t help her here.”

He was talking to a dead man.

What more did he want from me?

I was already fucking murdered, what more could I possibly have to be taken away?

I rose from my seat, walking away from them, and all they resembled to me, resting against the walls for support, until I was out of the hospital, welcomed by the cold night’s air.

It was as merciless as everything else had ever been to me, as I brought my lost eyes to the empty, dark, sky.

There were no stars, the moon hidden behind clouds, and I wondered if this was the sky’s way of grieving the loss of her.  

Or perhaps, it was its way of welcoming her.

“ Okay. This- this was a low blow, you’ve taken it too far. I mean, what the hell do you want from me? You want me to believe? You want me to pray? Well, I’m fucking praying.”

I yelled, because He needed to listen, or they, or whomever cared enough to.

“ Bring her back. Please. You can take me, I’m perfectly fine with it. Take me to hell, or to heaven, or wherever you want, but not her. She doesn’t deserve any of this. She- she deserves to be a proper human being, and you’re ruining her. You took away everything she has ever had, and now you want her sanity too? And- if you’ve always wanted her, why did you throw her my way? Why- why would you give me everything, and then tear the illusion to shreds? I- I haven’t been the best man, but I’m not a bad person. I- I don’t deserve this. Hell, nobody does. I was okay before her, I was functioning at least, but now- now I feel like death. So, why don’t you just kill me? Or is it a luxury that I haven’t earned yet? Is this part of your plan, to have me die, slowly, but surely? Do you want me to suffer? Because guess what, I’m fucking suffering!”

I didn’t know when I had started crying, but I had, throwing my hands in the air, cursing at the Gods above.

“ Please, just- either take her away, removing all traces of her to have ever existed, or fix her. Please.”

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A/N: sooooooo, the weather?

ily x