Terracotta Heart

8

*Rape!!!*

PoV of Ayla
21.00 o'clock
Saturday

The music plays loudly in my flat.
I sing and play bass along.
Back in the days I used to do that often.
Forgot how much fun it is.
The song ends and now "Advert" comes on.
Since I met Alex I've been listening to Blur more.
It's so weird listening to my old best friend singing.

I lit a cigarette and close my eyes.
My head is empty and I feel numb.
I always knew he would make it far.
Not like me.
But I'm proud of him, he's making great music.

I get ripped out of my thoughts when my doorbell rings.

Maybe it's Alex?
That would be great.
I haven't heard from him since last week.
Or maybe Damon?
I try to keep myself positive and ignore the harsh reality.

I open the door and see him.
He tried to look nice and fancy.
In his hands flowers.
In his eyes hope and on his lips a smile.

"Hey, Baby!"

"Hello, Nick..."
He forces me in a hug and presses his lips on mine.
I want to cry and scream for help.

"I was wondering if you would go out with me. I know I messed up again but I'm sorry and I want to make it up to you again!"

He makes puppy eyes and the fear in me rises.
No I don't want to!
But what will he do if I tell him that?

"I'm sorry. I've got some work to do."

"Oh really? Are you sure it's that and not that you don't like me?"

He starts getting angry and before I can close my door is he already inside.

"Is it such a wonder to you?"

I try to push him out again but it's no good.

"Shut the fuck up you cunt!"
He throws the flowers away.
"I fucking own you! Who bought you this flat? Huh? Who? Who's always there for you when you've taken some weird drugs again?! Did you fucking forget that?!?"

"N-no but I-"

"No I don't want to hear your bullshit! You're being so fucking rude to me! Do you know that you're hurting me?"

"I-I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm really sorry."

My body is burning and the salty tears hurt my skin. I don't want to get hit again.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. Come here!"

He smiles warmly and opens his arms gesturing me that he wants a hug.
I walk to him my whole body shaking.
He holds me close.
I'm so anxious that I can't breathe anymore.
His hands run down my back and into my pants.
I want to move but I can't.
I'm like frozen.

"P-Please don't"
I whisper so silently that even I can barely hear myself.
His hot breath smells like alcohol.
Not long until I'm undressed.
I close my eyes and hope it's over soon.