Lisa's POV
I grabbed the bouquet of flowers in the passenger seat and went out of my car. I locked the door and walk inside the cemetery.
The last time I went here was almost a year ago. I missed her already. I know I didn't have the chance to meet her but the love I want her to feel was always here in my heart. I stopped infront of a tombstone of an angel.
The unborn child of Jong Suk and IU. I placed the flowers beside and sat on the grass.
I stared at the tombstone for I don't know how long then I felt my cheeks being wet.
I was crying again. Since the first time I went here and everytime, I felt the guilt for not saving the baby. I blamed myself almost two years now and I will still blame myself for the rest of my life. They were all right, if I carried Ji Eun and went to the hospital at the right time maybe they both survived, maybe she will give everyone a big bright smile. She will become the happy pill of all of us. But to my mistake, I take it all from her and from her parents.
"I'm s...sorry." I said between my sobs. I palmed my eyes and cried harder.
"I'm sorry fo...for not saving you ou...our little angel. I'm... sorry because I'm not a...a good auntie. I should be... the one to save you that time. But I ran away and let you and yo..your mother alone. I'm sorry. I regret everything everyday, I'm hating myse--"
"Two years ago I saw you here crying and now I saw you again still crying." Someone said. I wiped my face before looking up to the woman beside me. She was standing with crossed arms. Her unreadable eyes were fixed on the tombstone infront of us.
"Ji Eun ah." I mumbled. She looked at me before sitting beside me.
"Did you hate yourself until today?" She asked. My lips quivered as tears brimming in my eyes again. I nodded.
"I'm sorry Ji Eun. I'm sorry. Everything was my fault. If I didn't allow you to come with me and let you stay on the car, it won't happen." I lowered my head.
"If you want to hit me, cuss me, blame me again I would accept that and let you. Please Ji Eun, beat me again until I can't feel anything." I pleaded while looking into her eyes. She held my both shoulders.
"Hit you? Cuss you? I would love to do that two years ago. But now, I realized that I shouldn't have done that. I was wrong Lisa, I'm the one to blame here. I'm sorry Lisa." Her eyes glistening with tears.
"No, look at me. It's not your fault. You lose your baby because of me. Please don't put the blame on you, you already had so much pain." I said with worries plastered on my face.
"No Lisa. I'm the one who should be blame here. I'm responsible for what happened to my child." She retorted while wiping her tears.
"Girls, stop blaming yourselves because that was an accident. No one here's fault. It was God's plan. It happened for a reason. So please, I'm tired and irritated watching you two getting the blame." The guy said behind us with crossed arms. For all I know, he's Joon Gi. The guy who she visited when Jong Suk and I fought.
"Joon Gi." IU stood up and I did the same too.
"So uhm, this is Lisa. Lisa this is Joon Gi." She introduced us, Joon Gi gestured a handshake so I took and we shake hands.
YOU ARE READING
I hate you, I love you (JENLISA FANFIC)
FanfictionI walk slowly towards her. The love of my life. She's looking at me with wide eyes. As I stop inches from where she's standing. "I love you." I said sweetly looking into her eyes. And by that, she looked so shocked and... stiffed. "Wha-what?" Stutte...
