The "L" Word

Sam's Suspicions

Chapter Three

Sam woke feeling even more tired than he had before he went to bed.  This bed was perhaps the worst of any motel they had ever stayed in, and they had stayed in some pretty bad ones.  Sunlight was streaming in through a slit in the curtains where they did no quite meet and it was hitting him smack in the face.  Groaning he sat up and stretched.  He looked over at his brother’s bed but it was empty, the blankets tossed aside.  “Dean?”  He called out, thinking his brother was in the bathroom.  When no one answered he got up and went to the bathroom.  The door stood open, the tiny room empty.  “Where the hell did you go?”  He muttered.  He crossed the room to the front door and pulled it open.  The impala was gone but parked one spot over was a dusty sedan.  Cas was here.  “Cas?”  He called out.  Again there was no answer.  Clearly they had gone somewhere together.  Where the hell would Dean go this early in the morning?  He was not a morning person and rarely got up before ten unless Sam nagged at him to get up.  Something had motivated his big brother to not only get up but to take Cas and drive off.  He wondered what the hell was bugging Dean so bad lately.  This merited further consideration but in the meantime he needed a shower.

          Sam had just finished shaving and brushing his wet hair when he heard the door to the room open and then heard voices.  “Sammy?  I got you breakfast.”  Dean said.  Sam stepped into the bedroom and saw his brother laughing, having what looked like a pleasant conversation with Cas who was grinning from ear to ear.  When was the last time he had really seen his brother this happy?  He honestly couldn’t remember.  “Thanks.”  He said.  He had put his pants on but still needed to grab a clean shirt from his bag.  The smell of the food in the paper bag on the table was too strong to ignore though and he bypassed his bag in favor of seeing what Dean had brought.  “Oh, pancakes, that’s better than that burger last night.”  Sam said, grimacing at the memory of the crummy diner meal.  Dean and Cas were already sitting down at the table across from the chair he’d sat in last night and Dean had another Styrofoam container open in front of him and he was digging into a stack of pancakes inside it.  Cas was sitting quietly next to Dean watching them both eat.  “Want some?”  Dean pushed the container toward Cas.  “No, I don’t want to take your food.”  He declined.  Dean pulled the container back without arguing and continued eating.  “So, where did you guys run off to this morning?”  Sam asked casually between bites of pancakes.  “Cas showed up so we talked for a while and then went to get breakfast.  We can’t go looking for missing girls on an empty stomach.”  Dean said.  He grabbed a coffee cup out of a carrier that Sam had missed behind the still open laptop.  He had remembered to turn the laptop off but not to close it last night, but he shut it now and saw another cup waiting for him.  “Coffee too, I’m impressed.”  Sam said.  Dean gave him a quick smile but kept shoveling food into his mouth.  This was the first morning in a while that Dean hadn’t started the day off with a beer and Sam was wondering what that meant.  “You feeling ok this morning?”  Sam asked.  Dean looked up, a frown on his face.  “I’m fine.”  Sam nodded.  “That’s good.  It’s just, you drank a lot last night.  I figured you’d have a hell of a hangover this morning.”  He realized his older brother was darn near glaring at him.  “Dean, you’re drinking again?”  Cas asked, frowning.  “Not anymore.”  Dean said without taking his eyes off his brother.  Despite the fact that he practically towered over Dean, Sam still withered under his brother’s stare.  He lowered his eyes to his own food, picking up a strip of bacon and chewing on it thoughtfully.  “So tell me about this case you are working on.”  Cas said.  “You didn’t tell him anything?”  Sam asked, surprised.  Dean let out an annoyed sigh.  “No Sammy, I didn’t.  But since you brought it up, have at it.”  Cas touched Dean’s arm.  “Don’t be angry with Sam, he hasn’t done anything to warrant it.”  Dean looked at Cas for a moment and then nodded.  “Yeah, ok.”  He chewed on a piece of bacon and motioned to Sam to start talking.  Sam was riveted to the fact that Cas still had his hand on Dean’s arm, and Dean wasn’t pulling away or squirming away from the physical contact.  He forced himself to look at Cas directly.  “So, uh there have been a series of missing persons cases here in this town over the last three months.  Six in total, all young women between the ages of seventeen and twenty four, and all of them locals, born here in town.  Crowley seems to think you will have some info on this.”  Cas turned and folded his hands on the table so that he was directly facing Sam.  “Crowley was here?”  “He found me in the diner last night.  Said you would have more information on this.  All he really said was that the girls are still alive and that whatever this is, it’s not vampires.  And it’s really old.”  Dean said.  Cas’ frown turned into a scowl.  Dean had finished his food and closed the container.  He leaned his arms on the table, his hands close to Cas’, seemingly unaware of how close they really were.  Sam did not know what to make of it.  Dean realized how uncomfortable his brother suddenly looked but he wasn’t ready to pour his heart out to him, so instead he shifted his weight and moved further away from Cas.  Cas noticed and turned his scowl on Dean.  Dean said something to the angel that Sam couldn’t make out and Cas’ expression softened and he nodded.  He turned back to look at Sam.  “I feel like I’m being left out of a big secret.  What are you two hiding?”  Sam asked.  He hated being left out, and clearly there was something going on with his brother and Cas.  Cas cocked his head as though considering the question.  “I am not hiding anything.”  He replied, and Sam believed him.  Cas wasn’t very good at lying or being deceitful.  If Dean asked him not to say something, he wouldn’t, but only because he had made a promise.  Dean on the other hand could and would lie to cover his own ass.  The fact that he was sitting across the table right now staring down at his coffee cup as he had stared into so many bottles of beer over the years told him that while he wasn’t exactly hiding things, he wasn’t exactly ready to share either.  “You know what, forget I asked.  Cas, do you know anything about these disappearances?”  Sam asked.  “Sam…”  Dean said.  He sounded tired.  “No Dean, if you and Cas have something going on, whatever it is, it can wait.  Crowley said these girls are still alive, right?  So we need to do everything we can to find them.”  He shoved aside his now empty food container and pulled the laptop over so that it was in front of him.  Cas was thoughtful for a moment.  “Are the girls still pure?”  He finally asked.  “Pure?  Like as in virgins?”  Dean asked.  “Yes, exactly.”  Dean got up and grabbed the file he’d left on his bed the night before.  He carried it back to the table and sat back down.  The folder was pretty thick and Dean flipped it open, searching for something that would hint that these girls were still virgins.  He doubted it would be written in the police reports, but sometimes local police surprised him.  A quick scan of the first few reports told him he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for.  Sam was typing away on the laptop researching creatures that hunted and killed virgins.  “If they’re virgins…”  Cas was thinking aloud, considering what it could possibly be.  “Do you an idea of what it is?”  Dean asked.  Reluctantly Cas nodded.  “There are creatures that feed on virgins and then there are creatures that sacrifice virgins.  If Crowley is right and these girls are still alive, then you’re looking for something that is sacrificing them.”  Dean looked from Cas over to Sam.  “Sacrificing virgins?  Why does this sound like something smack out of ancient Mexican legends?”  Sam looked at his brother questioningly.  “Are you referring to the Aztecs who made human sacrifices?  They sacrificed a lot more than just virgins.”  He said.  “Got a better idea smart guy?”  Dean asked, though there was no anger in his voice.  “Give me an hour to research it and I’m sure I’ll come up with something.”  Sam said.  “There are creatures in legends and mythology that are not accurately described.  Don’t dismiss a piece of information thinking it does not pertain to the case.”  Cas warned.  Sam nodded.  “Got it.”  Dean leafed through the files in the folder, looking for anything that stood out.  “Wait up, what is this?  Four of the girls are all wearing one.”  He slid the pictures toward Cas and pointed to a silver band on the ring finger of each girl’s left hand.  “Purity rings.”  Cas replied.  “Let me see those.”  Sam said, and Dean slid the pictures across the table to him.  “Give me the other pics.”  Sam said after a few minutes of studying the pictures.  Dean fished the last two pictures out and handed them over.  Sam only had to look at the pictures for a second to find what he was looking for.  He turned the picture in his hand around so Dean and Cas could both see it.  “They’re not wearing the rings because they’re wearing purity pendants.”  Dean leaned in to look at the silver charms hanging around both girls’ necks.  “Huh.  I didn’t know you could wear it as a necklace too.”  “So we have determined they’re virgins.”  Cas had a knack for pointing out the obvious.  “Any idea what could be collecting virgins?”  Dean asked him.  Cas looked thoughtful for a moment.  “There are many things I can think of that would.”  Dean and Sam both waited for Cas to elaborate.  “Like what?”  Dean finally asked, slightly irritated.  “You could be dealing with deities.”  Cas said.  “Deities?”  Dean asked, even more irritated.  “Gods, Dean, like the Greek Gods, or Nordic Gods.”  Sam clarified.  “We already went up against those bastards.”  Dean growled.  “There are a lot of them.  Like, hundreds.”  Sam told him.  “You gotta be kidding me.”  Dean threw his hands up in the air in frustration.  Cas was watching him but he didn’t say anything.  Even he had learned that when Dean got like this it was best to let him work through his frustration on his own.  Dean got to his feet.  “I’m going into town to question the families, see what I can find out.”  He looked down at Cas.  “You coming?”  Cas stood up.  “I’m going to change.  Give me thirty minutes.”  Dean said.  He went out to the Impala, leaving the room door open.  Cas started to follow but Sam stopped him.  “Dude, he needs his suit.  Give him a minute.  Dean returned with a clothes bag draped over one arm, shutting the door behind him.  “I’ll be ready in a little bit.”  Dean said, walking past Cas to the bathroom.  “I’ll just…wait here.”  Cas sighed.  When the water started Sam got up from his chair.  “Hey, Cas.”  He waited for the angel to turn around and look at him.  “Yes Sam?”  “What the hell is going on with you and Dean?  And don’t you dare try to lie to me.  Dean does enough lying for all of us.”  Sam stood with his arms crossed staring down at Cas, using his height to try and intimidate the smaller man, but it wasn’t working.  Cas didn’t really comprehend intimidation.  Cas looked up at the taller man, his face impassive, yet there was something there in his eyes, something that made Sam even more suspicious.  “Dude, I know you have a thing for my brother.  What I want to know is what is actually going on between you two.  If I can’t get it out of him I’ll sure as hell get it out of you.”  Sam was angry and making no effort to hide it.  “You need to talk to Dean about it.  He has asked me not to say anything until he does.”  Cas replied, his face remaining blank.  “You are an infuriating little shit, do you know that?”  Sam complained.  “That is a figure of speech, is it not?”  Cas asked.  Sam ran his hands through his hair and started up at the ceiling for a long time trying to get his temper under control.  He didn’t explode nearly as much as Dean did, but this was pissing him off more than he cared to admit.  He finally looked at Cas again.  “Are you and Dean sleeping together?”  “I do not need sleep Sam, you know that.”  Cas said matter-of-factly.  “I could punch you right now, you know that?”  Sam said, irritated beyond belief.  “Are you fucking my brother?  Can I put it anymore plainly than that?”  Sam spoke each word slowly and with great purpose, and watched Cas’ face closely for a reaction.  Cas’ expression darkened and for the first time there seemed to be color rising in his cheeks.  “I am not having sexual relations with Dean.”  He said.  There was strain in his voice.  Sam had struck a nerve.  “But you want to.”  Same pressed.  Cas moved to the edge of Dean’s bed and sat down, his hands resting on his thighs.  He stared straight at the window.  “I am not comfortable with this conversation Sam.”  Suddenly Sam felt guilty.  Cas had been their friend for so long now and his goal was not to push him away.  His shoulders slumped he returned to his chair by the laptop.  He was now back in Cas’ line of sight.  “Hey, I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to push you like that.”  He said.  Cas shifted his eyes to Sam and gave a faint smile.  Sam went back to researching on the laptop while they waited for Dean to get out of the bathroom.  When they heard the shower turn off Cas turned to stare at the door.   When it finally opened twenty minutes later Sam noticed how Cas’ face lit up when Dean entered the room.   Dressed in a navy blue suit and freshly shaved Dean looked sharp.  He was busy fixing his tie.  “Come on.”  He said to Cas.  Cas stood up and Dean appraised his outfit.  “Lose the trench coat Cas.”  He ordered.  Cas shrugged out of the coat and laid it on the bed.  “Come here.”  Dean pulled Cas closer and began adjusting his tie.  “Why does this thing never hang right on you?”  He muttered.  Cas stood there, looking at Dean, simply happy to be this close to him.  Once he got the tie adjusted Dean brushed off Cas’ suit jacket.  “Please tell me you still have your FBI badge.”  Dean said.  Cas turned back to his trench coat and fished around in the pocket until he found the leather billfold that held his fake ID.  He moved it to the inner pocket of his suit jacket.  Dean handed him the comb he was keeping in his own pocket.  “Do something about that hair dude, it’s all over the place.”  Cas took the comb and Dean pointed to the bathroom.  He watched Cas go and then went to the table to collect the folder and all of its content.  “Dean, what the hell is going on with you and Cas?  Please, talk to me.”  Sam was pleading in that tone that Dean hated because it was always so hard to deny him what he wanted when he used it and pulled the puppy dog eyes on him.  Dean rested both palms flat on the table but he did not look at his brother.  Sam waited, expecting a lie, some sort of fabrication or even for Dean to use his usual tactics of deflection but instead he just sighed and said “I don’t know.”  Sam tried not to show his surprise at his brother’s honesty.  Instead, keeping his voice as low as Dean’s was he asked “Are you…in love with him?”  Dean visibly stiffened but still he did not lift his head.  “I don’t know.”  There was pain in those words.  It was clear that Dean was still trying to work through his own feelings and he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.  “It’s cool man, whatever you decide.  You’re my brother and I love you.”  Sam said softly.  Dean finally lifted his head and looked at his little brother.  There was so much conflict there, so much pain.  Cas came out of the bathroom looking fresh, his hair finally under some control.  “I used some of your gel, I hope that’s ok.”  He said to Dean.  “Sure man, whatever.”  Dean forced a smile.  Cas held the comb out and Dean took it, acutely aware of the sensation of Cas’ fingers brushing against his as he took it.  He immediately looked at his brother but Sam’s attention was back on the laptop.  “I’ll compile a list of possible things it could be, just call me if you find anything.”  Same told them.  “Sure thing.”  Dean said and guided Cas out the door.  It was time to hunt.