The "L" Word

Happiness Escapes You Dean Winchester

Chapter Nine

          “So what is this grand plan of yours?”  Sam asked.  “We lack power, right?  Because there are so few of us, but what we don’t lack is strength.  Cas here could take out all three of those witch bitches with his eyes closed.  I say we work to distract the crowd and he drives this baby home.”  Dean replied holding up the dagger to mimic driving it into one of The Furies.  He was grinning almost like a mad man, hoping at least his brother would agree that the idea had merit.  “Dean, we can’t ask Cas to do that.  If they injure him, his grace won’t be able to hold out.  We didn’t tell you but Cas nearly died on the way out to the bunker.  The grace he had then, it was fading bit by bit and he was nearly dead when Crowley found him and Hannah being attacked.  Crowley stole the grace from the angel attacking them and stuck it inside Cas.  Sure, Cas looks good now, but this grace is fading too.  He’s going to die, and if you make him do this and he gets hurt, he may not recover from it.”  Sam ignored the glare Cas was giving him.  Dean’s smile had faded and he turned to look at Cas.  “Is that true?  Are you dying Cas?”  He asked.  Cas shifted his weight and shrugged.  “I don’t honestly know what will happen to me once it runs out, though I highly suspect that I will die.”  His voice was soft, as though it pained him to speak those dreaded words.  “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”  Dean asked, the raw pain in his voice unmasked.  “You had this mission.  I did not want to burden you.”  Cas replied lamely.  “What kind of crap is that?  You don’t want to burden me?  Cas, you drove across 2 states to come tell me that you love me and you stayed here on earth for me, and now you’re telling me that you’re going die?  So what, loving you in return is pointless?  Is that what you’re saying?  If I mean so damn much to you why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”  There was anger and hurt in Dean’s voice but the pain reflecting in his eyes as they brimmed with tears was more than Cas could bear.  “There is still a piece of my true grace left.  The mission is to get to heaven and retrieve it.  I will get it back Dean, for you.  I don’t want to leave you, ever.”  Cas spoke softly, his eyes pleading with Dean not to worry.  Frustrated beyond words Dean grabbed the smaller man and locked him in a fierce bear hug, not caring who saw.  He squeezed until Cas started to have trouble breathing.  Cas managed to lift one arm just enough to tap Dean on the arm.  When Dean finally pulled away Cas gasped.  “Hey, we’re going to help with that.”  Charlie said as she touched Dean’s arm.  He nodded, his voice not working to let him express how truly scared he really was.  He tightened his grip on the dagger.  “I’ll take care of these Goddesses myself.”  He turned and started marching toward the warehouse.  Cas caught up to him first.  “Dean, you can’t just go in there and confront them, they’ll kill you.”  Dean shrugged his hand off when he touched his arm.  “Not really caring right now.”  Dean grunted, not slowing down.  Sam came up on his left easily keeping stride with his longer legs.  “Dean, calm down, we need to come up with a plan before we go in there, you know that.”  Dean refused to look up at his brother.  If he did he would see pity there, and that was the last thing he wanted to see.  Sam grabbed his arm forcing him to stop.  “Dean, stop being so damn stubborn!”  He snapped.  Dean did stop, glaring up at his little brother.  “Sammy, I need to kill something, and I need to kill it now.”  His voice was low and Sam heard the warning in it but chose to ignore it.  “I get it, this is something you feel in control of, but we’re here for you man, and we’re going to do everything we can to get Cas’ grace back.  I don’t want to lose him either, but I sure as hell don’t want to lose my brother again.  Not when I just got you back.”  His words struck Dean in such a way that it felt as though something inside him was breaking.  He had always had to be the one in control, the one managing every situation.  It had served him well throughout his life in keeping himself and his brother alive, though even that had failed at times.  They’d been through so much, done so much, and he was tired.  Sam must have seen something in his eyes because his face softened.  “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”  Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper but the pain in it was raw and he couldn’t mask it.  Sam nodded.  He knew exactly what his brother meant.  “These girls need us though.  We need to focus on helping them right now.”  Dean took a deep breath that rattled when he exhaled.  Cas moved around him to stand at Sam’s side.  There was fear in his eyes, something he rarely ever saw.  “Dean, don’t you dare die.”  He said.  Dean wanted to hug Cas to him, wrap him in his arms and protect him.  For so many years Cas had done everything in his power to keep him and Sam safe, even at the expense of his own life, and now it was Cas that needed protection.  It felt like history repeating itself yet again.  He finally was reaching a place where he felt like he was actually going to be happy, that he was going to be with the one person he loved most in this world, save for his brother, and that things would be ok.  The weight of knowing that Cas was dying tore at that little bit of security he had dared to start building up since Cas had told him that he had stayed behind on earth for him.  Stayed, even though it meant his own death.  “We’ll find a way to save him.  I swear we will.”  Sam promised.  He nodded both at Dean and at Cas.  “Thank you, that means a lot to me.”  Cas told Sam.  Dean wiped at his eyes feeling weak for letting his emotions get the best of him here in public, and in front of the people that always thought him to be strong.  “Crowley!”  Dean yelled.  “What are you calling him for?”  Sam asked.  “Crowley!”  Dean yelled a second time, even louder.  “What do you want?”  Crowley said from behind them.  He was looking at his fingernails, sounding bored.  “I want you to go find us the least noticeable way in there.  I want to sneak up on these bitches when they’re not looking.”  Dean said.  Crowley looked up sharply.  “You want me to go in there?  Why not just send your angel loverboy?”  He sounded annoyed.  Dean took a step toward him but Sam held him back.  “This benefits you too asshole.  If you want me to go in there and kill the triple psychos then you need to do your part.  Get your evil ass in there and scope the place out.”  Dean ordered.  Crowley rolled his eyes and let out and exaggerated sigh.  “Alright, fine!”  And with that he was gone again.  “I don’t like that he does that.”   Charlie said, clearly unnerved.  “It was worse when Cas did it.”  Sam told her.  Charlie looked at Cas.  “You did that too?  The whole there one second, gone the next?”  Cas nodded.  “I couldn’t stay long, I had other places to be.”  “He was fighting a war in heaven.”  Dean explained.  Charlie nodded.  “You deal with a lot of crazy stuff guys.  Makes computer programming seem like a cakewalk.”  Dean shook his head.  “How long do you think-“  Charlie didn’t get to finish the question before Crowley was back.  “So they’re in the main room but there is an open door at ground level that leads right up.  The Furies have an altar dedicated to them at the back of the main floor.  They have the blonde girl up on it.  The short one with the butterfly tattoo on her ankle.”  He told them.  “East or West side?”  Sam asked.  “South actually.”  Crowley replied.  Dean was already walking toward the factory.  “I’d keep an eye on him, he’s not right in the head right now.”  Crowley nodded toward Dean.  Cas gave him a dirty look before running up to match pace with Dean.  Charlie and Sam caught up a few seconds later.