The "L" Word

Not Ready Yet

Chapter Five

          “My car is gone.”  Cas said when they pulled into the motel and parked.  “Did you leave the keys here?”  Dean asked as they got out and headed for the room.  Cas patted his jacket pockets and realized they were empty save for his ID in his inner pocket.  “They’re in my coat on the bed.”  Cas said.  “He probably went for something to eat.”  Dean said as he opened the door.  The laptop is still on the table but it’s turned off.  There is a piece of paper lying on the keyboard and Dean crossed the room to pick it up.  It was a note from Sam. 

“Do you ever pick up your phone Dean?  Charlie is back from Oz!  She tried to reach you but when you didn’t answer she called me.  I’m heading back to the bunker to see her.  The case is pretty straight forward.  If you need me to come back and help I will but I think you and Cas can handle it.  Do me a favor though, work through your issues with him.  I don’t know what exactly you two are feeling toward each other, but you need to figure it out or it’s going to mess with your head and I don’t want anything distracting you from hunting.  So dude, if you love him, tell him.  If you don’t, tell him.  He deserves that much.  Call me later.  Laptop is in hibernation mode. I left the websites loaded for you.  See you soon.

                                                                                      Sam

Dean pulled his phone from his pocket and saw eleven missed calls.  “Damn it!”  He growled when he realized his phone had been put on silent.  He didn’t remember doing it but whatever, it was too late now.  Cas was standing by the bed watching him.  “Did you figure out where Sam is?”  He asked.  Dean considered handing him the note to read but thought better of it.  Instead he slipped it into his inner jacket pocket before taking the jacket off and tossing it on Sam’s bed.  “Charlie came back.  Sam went to see her.  He’s leaving the case up to you and me.”  Dean replied.  “Who is Charlie?”  Cas asked.  Dean smiled at the thought of Charlie.  “She’s a friend.  Someone we care a lot about.”  Cas nodded but did not inquire further.  Dean loosened his tie and pulled it off.  He tossed that on the table and began to unbutton his shirt before he realized how intently Cas was staring at him.  “Relax dude, kick back, take your jacket off.  I’m going to go change.”  He went to his bag and fished out a pair of jeans and a tee shirt.  Cas was taking his jacket off as Dean headed to the bathroom to change.  He suddenly felt shy, something he never felt and he didn’t want to strip down in front of the angel. 

          When Dean returned to the bedroom Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed.  He had taken off his jacket and loosened his tie but that was it.  Dean padded over to the bed and stood over him.  Cas looked up at him with those incredible eyes of his.  Neither man spoke.  Neither man had to.  Cas stood up and before Dean could react he took Dean’s face in both of his hands and pressed his mouth against the surprised Winchester’s.  For a brief moment Dean hesitated.  Was this really what he wanted?  As Cas kissed him deeper he felt a pull deep in his groin that told him yes, this was exactly what he wanted.  His arms snaked around Cas, pulling his body close, kissing him deeper, their tongues finding each other, their bodies pressed so tightly there was no room between them.  Cas’ hand slid up under Dean’s shirt touching his lower back and eliciting a moan of pleasure from the taller man.  Cas’ mouth moved to Dean’s throat, his collarbone, coming back up to his ear and sending shudders of ecstasy through him.  “Oh God…”  Dean gasped.  The pull in his groin grew stronger and he was sure Cas could feel it pressed against his own leg, though he was not addressing it.  Yet.  “Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?”  Dean asked.  His voice was thick, full of want and need, and Cas pressed his mouth once more to his, silencing him.  He pushed Dean back, watching him fall onto the bed.  Dean sat up on his elbows looking up at him.  “What are you doing here Cas?”  He asked, though Cas was sure he already knew exactly what he was doing.  Cas began unbuttoning his own shirt and pulled it off a bit too hard sending the buttons at his cuffs flying across the room.  Dean was surprised to see that his attraction to seeing the angel standing before him shirtless only increased.  Cas was toned, his muscles flexing beneath pale skin as he tossed the shirt aside.  Dean reached up and grabbed him by his belt, pulling him down onto the bed.  Their hungry mouths found one another again as their hands began to explore one another.  Cas’ hand came to rest under Dean’s shirt, directly over his heart.  “I’ve never done this before, with another guy.”  Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper.  “We’ve had this discussion before Dean.”  Cas’ voice was deeper than usual, full of the same passion and want that was in Dean’s.  He let his hand slide down Dean’s chest to his stomach and then to the button on his jeans.  Dean put one hand over his, staying it.  “I’m not ready for that just yet.”  His voice betrayed him, revealing the fear he felt at that moment.  Rather than be upset at getting rejected Cas simply slid his hand across Dean’s stomach eliciting another shudder of pleasure and pressed his mouth against his throat.  “Cas…”  Dean hated how his voice hitched as he said the angel’s name, and how it betrayed the lust he was feeling.  When their eyes met next there was nothing but love and patience in those blue eyes, and it made Dean feel a little better.  While the kissing and touching was out of this world he just wasn’t ready yet to take it any further.  Once more Cas’ mouth was on his, kissing him with more passion than he thought possible and he kissed back hard, winding his fingers through Cas’ hair and crushing their mouths together.  Dean was surprised by the smaller man’s strength when he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close so that their bodies were pressed together.  Their kisses slowed but still their hands explored and everywhere Cas touched him made Dean shudder.  He was going to need one hell of a cold shower after this.  He turned on his side, putting his back to Cas, opting to be the one getting spooned and shivered when Cas pressed his lips to the back of his neck and pulled him close.  Any conflicting emotions he had been feeling washed away in that moment.  He felt safer than he had felt in years wrapped in the arms of his angel.  “I love you Dean.  I’ve always loved you.”  Cas whispered.  Dean felt his heart flutter.  “I love you too Cas.  I think I always have.”  He whispered back.  And he knew it was the truth.