The "L" Word

PDA's and Biblical Clarifications

Chapter Four

          There was not much Dean and Cas learned from their questioning than what was already in the reports and by noon Dean was hungry.  “I know you don’t need to eat but I do.”  He said, pulling into the parking lot of the first fast food place they came across.  Cas remained quiet as they got out and went inside.  “You ok man?”  Dean asked him after he had ordered and was carrying his cup to the soda fountain to fill it.  “I was thinking of the dates that each girl disappeared.”  Cas replied thoughtfully.  “Do the dates have some kind of significance?”  Dean asked.  “I believe they do.  I would need to see a calendar with the cycles of the moon though.”  Cas replied.  Dean’s order was up so he handed his drink to Cas and grabbed his tray.  “Come on.”  They went to the back of the nearly empty restaurant and sat down across from each other.  Dean desperately wanted to concentrate on the case at hand, focus on rescuing these girls, not on how he was feeling about Cas, or how under the table Cas’ outstretched leg brushed against his knee sending delicious shivers through him.  Goddamnit!    Still, he didn’t move his knee.  Thankfully Cas seemed lost in thought, unaware of the contact between their bodies.  Dean handed him his phone.  “Do you know how to use Google?  Look up the lunar cycles.”  Cas took the phone and began looking up the information.  “Here, this is what I thought it was.”  He shifted in his seat so that he could lean across the table and his leg pulled away.  For a moment Dean felt a strange mixture of emotions at the lack of contact but then Cas was mere inches from his face.  Cas looked up at Dean, intending to show him the information he had discovered but Dean was right there, close enough to kiss.  “You have…”  He motioned toward the corner of Dean’s mouth where there was a smudge of ketchup.  Dean wiped his mouth with his hand and swallowed the hunk of burger in his mouth.  “Uh, thanks.”  Dean said and flashed him a smile.  Cas forced himself to turn his attention back to the phone.  “So there are six girls, two disappeared in May, two in June, and two this month.  One disappeared exactly a week before the full moon and one on the full moon.  That’s why the police weren’t finding a pattern, they were looking at the dates and not the cycles of the moon.”  He held the phone out so Dean could see the lunar calendar he had found.  Instead of just taking the phone Dean took his hand and turned it so he could see the screen better.  He was frowning at the screen when he realized Cas was staring at him.  “Dude, I know I’m hot but you really have to work on the whole staring thing.”  There was playful affection in his tone when Dean spoke and Cas smiled.  “I am sorry Dean.”  He lowered his eyes to the phone.  Dean let go of his hand and picked his burger back up.  “So do you have an idea of what we’re dealing with yet?”  Cas set the phone down and crossed his hands, but he did not sit back.  Dean could kiss him right now if he wanted to (and God did he want to)  but instead he bit into his burger and studied Cas’ face with those intense green eyes of his.  Cas was staring right back.  “Sam asked me what was going on.”  He said suddenly, changing the subject.  Dean nodded.  “I figured he would.  He’s a smart guy.  Not a whole lot gets past him.”  “He asked me if we were fucking.”  Cas said bluntly.  Dean choked on the bite of burger he was trying to swallow and started coughing.  Cas handed him his drink and he swallowed down half the cup.  “Geez Cas, don’t sugarcoat it.”  He said still trying to get the coughing under control.  Dean could see the discomfort on his friend’s face.  He knew Cas well enough to know that Cas wouldn’t have volunteered any information that Dean wasn’t ready for Sam to know, but the fact that Sam’s mind automatically turned to sex bothered him greatly.  “I told him no.”  Cas said, and of course that was the truth, but the upset look on his face bothered Dean.  They were in public and Dean was afraid that people were watching but he took the chance anyway and reached across the table taking Cas’ hand in his own.  It was warm and Cas’ fingers curled immediately around his own as though hungry for the contact.  “Hey, I’m sorry about Sam.  I’ll talk to him, don’t worry about that.”  He spoke gently and when Cas’ eyes rose to meet his own he could feel the heat rising in his face.  Damn him and his blue eyes.  “Dean, I need to tell you something.”  Cas said.  “Anything, you can tell me anything.”  He said.  Cas’ fingers wove into his until they were holding hands across the table like lovers.  Dean wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that.  He liked the skin on skin contact with Cas, but he had never held hands with a dude before, except maybe to hold Sam’s hand when they crossed the street as kids, but that was different.  This was intimate, and when Cas’ thumb brushed across the back of his hand he felt the butterflies explode in his belly yet again.  Trying to guess what Cas was going to say was next to impossible and he waited nervously for the angel to speak.  Cas seemed to be trying to find the right words.  “I want you to know that many books in the bible are not the actual word of my Father but are actually just human interpretation based on the traditions of that time period.”  He finally said.  Dean’s brow knit as he tried to understand the meaning behind what Cas was trying to say, but it went over his head.  “So, what are you trying to say?  The bible didn’t have divine intervention?”  Cas shook his head.  “No, many parts did, but there are certain books that were simply the opinion of man guised as the word of God.”  Cas explained.  “What books in particular?”  Dean asked.  Never one to beat around the bush Cas got straight to the point.  “There is nothing in the true gospels stating that man cannot lie with another man.  It is not about the human body.  As I said earlier, the soul has no gender and when people are drawn together it’s their souls that are feeling that pull, not the body itself.  These vessels, that is all they are, vessels.”  For a long time Dean sat quietly, thinking, considering the words Cas had said.  He had never considered himself homophobic, though he had also never considered the thought of sleeping with another man.  Until now.  Cas was looking up at him, ever so patiently waiting for Dean to think through the implications of what he was saying.  “So, if two guys have sex, they’re not immediately going to hell for it?  Is that what that means?”  Dean asked.  Cas nodded.  “I never believed they would for something as silly as that.  Besides, when I was there I never saw any gay guys on the rack just for having taken a lover.”  Dean said it very casually and Cas’ eyebrows went up, his blue eyes widening.  He had half expected Dean to get flustered and pull away, to retreat back into his hard shell and block him out, but he didn’t.  Instead with his free hand he picked up a fry and popped it into his mouth.  “You continue to amaze me Dean Winchester.”  Cas said, smiling.  Dean smiled back.  “I am amazing, aren’t I?”  His tone was cocky but humorous and he loved seeing Cas’ smile widen and then hearing the sound of his laughter.  The man was beautiful when he laughed, and for the first time Dean wasn’t uncomfortable with thinking Cas was beautiful.  Cas was looking at him again, the smile still on his face.  “I very much enjoyed kissing you earlier.  I would like to kiss you again.”  Dean lifted one eyebrow and smiled.  “Yeah, uh, me too.”  He cleared his throat.  That did make him slightly uncomfortable having their make out session this morning discussed but he had felt more emotion during that kiss than he had felt in the last ten years, and it had felt good to feel something again.  Dean squeezed his hand.  “Come on, Sam has to be wondering where we are by now.”  Giving Cas’ hand one last squeeze he pulled his hand away.  He tossed the last few fries in his mouth and took the tray to empty it.  When he turned around Cas was right behind him holding his cup.  Dean took it, finishing off the last bit of soda and tossed it in the garbage.  It was time to get back to the motel and give Sam the information they’d discovered.