Wildfire | Johanna Mason

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃

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When she finally returned to the train, Daphne silently retreated to her room, where she was left alone until dinner came around. She should stop moping. She wanted to stop moping. Unfortunately, she couldn't order her feelings around, and she went to dinner with a heavy heart. Daniel didn't scold her, he just gave her a soft look. Everyone was silent, and she could feel the compassion, the pity, oozing from Gwendolyn and Daniel. She wasn't sure how to read Johanna, with her face pointed towards the food.

"Aren't you supposed to act like nothing happened?" Daphne finally dared to ask, her fingers tight around the fork. She tried to keep a lightness in her voice, but the crying had left its marks, and it sounded rather pathetic.

"Would you like that?" Daniel carefully decided to ask, which was a stupid question. Daphne didn't know what she wanted, but anything was better than whatever was going on.

She ignored the question and put down her fork. "I'm fine, really," she didn't believe it herself, but hoped the others would. "Sorry if I messed things up --"

"See!" Daniel said. "You're not okay. The Daphne I know and have come to appreciate would never apologize."

Despite her mood, the corners of her mouth turned up just a bit. "Fine, then I'm not sorry."

Daniel gave her a long, soft look she wasn't a fan of, but decided to undergo, anyway. "What you said isn't what you were supposed to say, but it was rather beautiful. I didn't know you felt that way."

Daphne felt herself closing up, despite the genuine nice tone of Daniel's voice, and despite the soft and almost understanding look. "Well, it's over now," she shrugged, continuing eating. She didn't want to talk about it, she hadn't even processed the things she'd said yet. All she knew was that apparently, she cared more than she dared to admit. "No point to dwell on it."

"Either way, I think it's safe to say we were all moved," Gwendolyn said, giving her a tight smile. She nodded shortly, shoving her food in as fast as she could before escaping the odd tension at the table.

She was ready for a sleepless night of thinking about her feelings, which was probably the thing she hated most, when her door opened. She didn't need to turn her head to know it was Johanna.

"I don't want to talk or get advice, if that's why you're here," she kept her stare upon the ceiling, although it wasn't at all so interesting. Johanna didn't say anything, but stepped closer.

"I know," she said, and Daphne felt the bed dip beside her. She finally looked sideways, only to see Johanna leaning down to lay beside her. The bed was big enough for the two of them, their shoulders not even touching. Daphne wished that the bed was a bit smaller.

Johanna didn't say anything else, and while Daphne was confused, she wasn't about to ruin the company by saying the wrong thing. So, she offered her a weak smile, turning her face back to stare at the ceiling, and somehow, felt as if it wasn't just her against the world anymore.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The other districts passed in a blur; it wasn't long before they reached the higher districts, and when district four came around, the district she'd killed the girl from, she didn't feel as if she were about to freak out. Daphne didn't, she read the cards, although she wanted to cry. She wanted to, but didn't until she found a room in the justice house, pushing past Daniel and Johanna.

She knew the real challenge would be district three. She wouldn't read those stupid cards when Ilana deserved more than that.

So when the day came, and Daphne was waiting to be lead outside, she was chewing her lip and toying with her rings. With a gentle hand, Daniel pushed her to the doors when the time was right, and she found herself standing in a crowd of people, looking at her expectantly.

She couldn't help but look at the man and woman to her left. A boy, older than Ilana stood beside them, and he looked so much like her Daphne could feel her heart clench.

"I never had many friends when I grew up," she began, wishing she'd prepared something. "Mostly because I wasn't good at making friends, and excellent at ruining friendships. When I got reaped, I didn't want allies, let alone friends. But then Ilana smiled sweetly at me during the parade," she remembered it very well. Ilana had offered her a gentle smile, one that Daphne didn't dare to reply to. "Then training came around, and she talked to me. I wasn't very good company, more focussed on anything but social contact. Every day she returned, and every day she talked."

She saw the mother smile sadly. "In the arena, she pressed a knife to my throat, and we were allies. I wish I could have saved her, because she was so good. She was too good to be brought there. She didn't deserve it. I wish she was standing here, instead of me." There was no good way to end her speech, Daphne's throat felt tight, and not enough air seemed to reach her lungs. She wiped her hands on the fabric of her dress, not knowing what else to say. "I just wish I could thank her one last time." It was barely audible, even though she spoke in the microphone.

With that, she turned around, accepted the flowers as fast as she could, and rushed into the justice building. Daniel pulled Johanna aside -- which earned him a glare -- to let her pass, find another room in the building to cry. She took everyone, even herself, by surprise when she didn't do that, but wrapped her arms around fellow victor.

Johanna was taken back by her actions, they hadn't actually hugged before, but soon hugged her back.

Daphne closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears in. She buried her face in the other woman's neck, hugging her so tight, she almost waited for her to say she was choking her. But nothing came, and Johanna hugged her back as tight, a hand moving to her hair, running her fingers through it to calm her down.

"Her brother looked just like her," she breathed out. There wasn't much Johanna could say, so she didn't. She just held her and stroked her hair until Daphne was calmer again. Daphne didn't need her to say anything, she just needed to know she was there. And Johanna wasn't going anywhere.

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(a/n): so i finished all my exams so yeah that happened. bad thing about that is: exams make me so creative and writing is my favorite way to procrastinate lol i'm curious to see how much i'll write a day now. don't worry, i have like 10 more chapters written tho
have a nice day/ night <3