Wildfire | Johanna Mason

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝓉𝓌𝑜

"How'd it go?" Daphne had been waiting rather impatiently, watching both happy and disappointed people passing her after their simulation test. She'd passed, only because she knew what they would be showing her. It had been hard, but she had to go to the Capital. It was what was keeping her going.

The last few weeks, she'd been throwing herself even harder in training. She needed a purpose, and bringing down Snow had given her that. For what he'd done to her, to Johanna. To all the dead kids.

Johanna Mason joined her eventually, an easy grin on her face and her ponytail coming undone. Her hair had grown longer. "What do you think?"

They walked back into 13 together, a weight lifted off Daphne's chest, but one added at the same time. "Of course you passed," she smiled at the woman, lightly bumping her arm. "Do you know when we leave?"

They walked down the stairs, Johanna glancing back her. "No, won't be too long," a silence laid between them for a little while before the dark haired woman stopped in her tracks, Daphne almost bumping into her. From her step higher, she was as tall as Johanna. "Are you..." she began, trailing off. She always looked like that when she was going to ask something hard. So unsure of herself. "Can you do it?"

The words stung, though they weren't meant like that, Daphne was sure. "What's that supposed to mean?" Her voice was a little too sharp. "Do I look that weak?"

"No! You've just been... If you just told me what you and that stupid doctor were talking about, I might understand. I don't nderstand you anymore, Daphne! You went from... Weird to focussed and-"

"Weird?" She was almost yelling now, but she didn't care. How could Johanna of all people not understand. "Do you have any idea what I went through? I want to kill every son of a bitch that had a part in this-"

"How do you expect me to understand when you don't fucking talk!" Johanna threw her hands up, shaking her head as she took a few steps. "You know what, fine. I'm not doing this."

She continued walking down the stairs, but Daphne was fuming. "You're not walking away from me!"

"Come back when you can talk without yelling." She didn't even slow down.

Daphne wanted to shout, wanted to break things, wanted to cry and never show emotion at the same time. She stormed back up the stairs, hoping the outside air would calm her down a bit.

She had talked. Had tried to, at least. Johanna just wouldn't understand, she'd proved that on the stairs once more. That woman couldn't accept that she wasn't who she used to be. That didn't mean she was weak, or fucking weird.

She reached the grass, stomped towards the beginning of the forest. There was a small line of people waiting for the simulation, so they were still allowed outside.

She ran a hand over her face, wanting to kick something, wanting to express her frustration, but she didn't know how. So instead she walked around like a crazy person, hoping to walk the anger out of her. Eventually, she started running. Harder and harder, until she had to gasp for breath, and standing felt like just too much.

***

Only after dinner Daphne made her way back to their shared room. She was still angry, mostly because it made her think. She wasn't sure she could do it, she'd been such a mess. It wouldn't take much for her to break down. All she wanted was Johanna to believe in her.

The thoughts were quickly pressed down. She needed to do it. How would she live with herself if the people she cared about were in the Capital without her? It was as much her fight as it was theirs.

When the door opened, Daphne was met with Johanna. Her hair was damp and her face blank. "I almost thought you wouldn't come back."

"Well, you're not that lucky," Daphne kept her eyes on the ground, shuffling to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower."

She felt horrible. Johanna was all she had left. The only thing she loved and made her feel good. She'd lost her temper, stressed about the Capital. If she couldn't go, what would there be left for her?

Stripping down her clothes, she stood under the water that never quite reached a comfortable temperature, choosing for the hotter water instead.

By the time she stepped out, the room was filled with warm steam. Too warm, actually. She wrapped a towel around her body and slipped the door open a bit to let some air in.

Few moments later, Johanna knocked softly before pushing the door further open, yet not coming inside.

There she stood, just staring at Daphne, who raised her eyebrows, but her voice lacked the edge when she said: "What?"

"I didn't mean it like that," she said quickly. "I know you're strong and can probably survive anything."

Crossing her arms, Daphne leaned against the little sink with her hip. Was she getting an apology? "Then what did you mean?"

The other woman shifted her weight, unsure how to hold herself. "You're not made of gasoline, Daphne," she said eventually, eyes landing on her face. "You like to think that, but you're not. You can't keep burning and destroying forever."

It was Daphne's time to avert her eyes. "I will, though." Because what other option was there? In what world would she know rest?

"You can't," Johanna stepped closer, wanting to reach out but not knowing how to. "You're the strongest person I know, but you'll kill yourself if you do."

What life did she have, anyway? Even if the Capital was brought down, her mind would never be at ease again. She'd always be dependent on Johanna to take away the pain of the day and her own mind. Sometimes she wondered if Daphne Westerfall even existed anymore. "Would that really be that bad?"

For a moment, she saw Joanna's wide eyes, mouth opening to speak but closing again. Tears filled Daphne's eyes as she brought them to the floor again, uncrossing her arms to press a hand against the cool sink as tears rolled silently over her cheek.

"I love you," Johanna then said, taking a step forward. Her hand moved to Daphne's cheek, asking her to look up. "I really do."

At the words, Daphne couldn't stop the tears from rolling faster. She'd never felt as weak, but Johanna was there, and Johanna loved her.

Daphne was breaking down, lip beginning to tremble, but Johanna didn't push her away, instead pulled her closer, head pressed against her grey overall as she allowed Daphne to cry.

Maybe it was okay to take a break. She could, as long as she had Johanna with her. Daphne wrapped her arms around the woman, pulling herself closer against her. Never in her life had she thought it was possible to feel so safe with a person.

***

(a/n): okay I know updates are taking long but the story is coming to an end and I'm not happy about it??? I don't want to say goodbye to my girls so I keep putting writing this off. But we're here now! This will be the fist thing I actually finish and I'm happy about it but also sad.
I hope you enjoyed this!! Stay healthy sweets!