Wildfire | Johanna Mason

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒

It had been naive to think that things would be better. There was still a war to be had, a law to rewrite. After a short conversation with one of their trainers, Daphne felt utterly alive and angry again. The Capitol had done this to her. They'd taken everything from her, and now it was her turn to take. 

The doctor said her sudden lust for blood was a good sign; she was becoming stronger and had even begun to mentally realize what she had been through. Daphne was not sure if she was. Every time she woke up, there was a lingering moment of panic. She thought she was still in the Capitol, and it took a long moment before she dared to blink her tears away. 

She needed something to do, and joining the training seemed like the perfect thing. It had almost surprised her when she was allowed to. Almost, because she was of value to thirteen. She was meant to become a face of the rebellion, which she could not do in the safety of the district. Her doctors had disagreed, though, but president Coin was the law. 

However, Daphne had to go to a special doctor, which is where she was for the second time. Gavin was nice enough, and she had to admit that it helped. He gave her tips to ease the pain, to lessen the weight of her shoulders. He would never understand, but he was the only one who listened without any judgement. 

"You seem distracted," Gavin put his pen down on the notebook, a kind smile on his face. "Want to tell me what you're thinking?" 

What was she not thinking? She was scared and angry, but didn't even really know because of what. Her head was a mess,  just like everything else. "I don't know," she admitted. He allowed silence to rest between them, and hesitantly, Daphne added; "Everything is a mess, especially my head." 

"What makes you think that?" 

How would she ever put under words everything she had been through? Not only the torture, but seeing people sh cared about die. Seeing the empty chair in her class. Participating in the games and winning. Having to see someone she loved go back into their nightmare and not being able to do a thing. "I'm just scared. I've never been afraid like this." 

It was true enough, came closest to what she couldn't say. Ever since her own games, she had not been scared like she was now. 

"Considering all you've been through, that isn't strange," he seemed so calm, a beacon of rest that Daphne would never have. "What do you fear most, Daphne?" 

She turned her face away. How would she answer that? It had been long ago since she'd been afraid of death, and losing people is all that she knew. What was there left to be afraid of? So, the young woman shrugged, glancing at the clock. "I need to go to training,"

Still sounding pleasant and kind, the man got up with her. "Of course, think about it for me, will you?"

She shook his hand and nodded before almost running out of the room, which suddenly felt pressing. There were too many questions she didn't know the answer to. She was more than glad to be doing something she did know; working until her insides were on fire. 

***

She was still pulling her hair up in a ponytail when she reached the rest of the group. Johanna was standing at the very back and was the first to notice Daphne. "I thought you had bailed on us," while her voice was low, her grin was bright. It didn't take long for a smile to form on her own face. At least Johanna would never change. 

"Gavin kept me talking," she finished her hair, noticing the way Johanna's face dropped just a bit when she said that. "What did I miss?" 

The woman sighed heavily and dramatic, her voice suddenly louder, making sure their trainer heard. "Nothing much, really. That imbicil is making us run again." 

"Is there a problem?" Daphne looked up at the man in his slightly darker clothes than the rest of 13, his face always seemed to be cut from stone. 

While he certainly looked intimidating, Johanna looked him dead in the eye and cocked her eyebrows with the hint of a smirk. Daphne loved that expression, even more so when it wasn't at her. "I'm just updating her," a challenge hid in her voice, daring the man to call her out on her disrespectful language. "Let's get on with it, we don't have all day." 

"You have when I say you do," he said, making Johanna roll her eyes. She didn't have to chance to shoot something back, though, because he continued. "Right now that everyone's here, let's go up." 

They stepped in some sort of large elevator, and Daphne took a chance to look around. There were the familiar people, Katniss, Finnick. By now she knew Gale's face, too. Then the people from 13 she hadn't bothered to learn the names of. 

Soon, they were above the ground, and just the smell of grass and trees and even rain made Daphne feel better. As if she could just walk home, and pretend nothing had ever gone wrong. As if the second games had never even happened. 

A whistle brought her attention back, though, as she started to run. Daphne knew she was behind on everyone, especially when it came to stamina. Her muscles were still weak, and the trust in her own body was gone. Mental and physical energy was far off, but that didn't change the fact that her clothes were made of gasoline, and that she soaked up that energy, burning bright, until there was nothing left. 

As she pushed through not being able to breathe, she knew that it would end like that, one day. She would die, fighting and gasping for breath, but she would burn beautifully. 

Not everyone was made to live a long life, maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing to die, fighting for a better world. It was better than dying for entertainment. 

"Get your head clear, Westerfall," the voice of the trainer cut her out of her thoughts, bringing her attention back on the lack of oxygen in her lungs, and the burning sensation through her whole body. "Three more laps, let's go!" 

Before her, Johanna slowed down a bit, joining her slower pace. "You good?" 

She was far from good, each breath felt like dying. But Daphne never quit. "Fine," she rasped out, nodding ahead of her. "Go." 

In her eyes, Daphne could read the hint of hesitation, but could not bring herself to repeat the words. Instead, she stared at the ground, trying not to trip over her heavy feet. Despite the slower pace, Johanna stayed jogging next to her, without saying a word. 

Even though at that point she couldn't bring out more than a word, Daphne was grateful. So long, she had spent alone. Each night trapped in the Capitol had been a cold reminder that she was alone, that there was no one to look out for her. 

But Johanna was staying. She was staying now, and Daphne knew that when they were done with training and dinner, she would find her in their room with a grin and some words. Daphne wasn't alone anymore. 

It soon dawned upon her that it also meant that, when it happened, Johanna was going to see her fall. It was bound to happen at one point, she was barely holding on. She wasn't certain if she was ready for that. To admit to others, especially Johanna, that she wasn't strong anymore. Maybe had never been. 

That was too hard to think about, so the young woman sped up ever so slightly, longing for an even intenser burn in her lungs to escape the thoughts. Maybe she did have an answer for Gavin, after all. 

(a/n): anyway i'm getting back into finishing this so that's fun. i'm thinking of some creative decicions because well this isn't like the movies or books anymore but i literally can not be bother to watch mockingjay part 2 and take the scenes over sorry not sorry but everyone already knows how those play out so! thinking about some of that. that was the rant! hope you enjoyed this chapter! hopefully will be more frequent again after my last exam which is next week!