Toxic

3. Making amends

4. May 2012

I felt an arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close. My body tensed immediately but I let him pull me to him anyways. His warm breath fanned my neck and I heard him swallowing heavily.

"I'm really sorry, El" he whispered. I stayed silent for a while. The tension in the air was thick and I think it was suffocating us.

"We can't keep going like this" I croaked "I'm so tired of this, of us, of everything..." a tear escaped my eyes and I sniffled. He turned me so I was facing him and wiped the tear off my face with his fingertips. I laid my head on his chest and he stroked my head gently, something he used to do frequently when we had just moved in together and used to lay in bed  at night imagining what the future had in store for us.

"Let's try to work on this" he mumbled, "I love you so much and I can't stand the thought of losing you. I promise you I'll work on this and I'll try to make things better for us."

His words were honey to my ears. I was trying so hard to believe him and to trust in those words. To trust that somehow we'd make it work and fix what had broken in our relationship. Instead of naming my doubts and potentially ruining this moment in which things somehow felt the way they used to be I just nodded silently and cuddled up closer to him. He kept stroking my head and playing with my hair until I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

∞∞∞

I woke up the next morning to what I have become accustomed to- an empty bed. I frowned and rolled out of bed grabbing the dress I had dropped to the floor last night and hung it over the armchair that stood in the corner of our room. Unwillingly I trudged into the bathroom and washed my face with cool water. I looked up into the mirror and saw a sad woman looking back. I had deep bags under my eyes. A result of all the stress that has been getting to me lately. I pulled my robe of the hook and slid into it making my way downstairs into the kitchen.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard something sizzling downstairs. I could smell the scent of bacon being fried and coffee in the air and scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. When I finally entered the kitchen I could see Jess standing at the stove busying himself with making breakfast.

"Why are you not at work?" I asked him. He turned so he was facing me and smiled at me.

"Good morning, babe" he pecked me on the lips "Well considering we just got done with our important construction site yesterday I decided that I could take a day off and enjoy breakfast with you.

"But you know that I have to go to work soon, I can't spend too much time eating breakfast or I'll be late" I frowned.

"I called in sick for you. Today we're spending the day together"

"Jess, you can't just-"

"Oh but I can. I just did, didn't I?" he cut me off and gave me a mischievous grin.

A giant smile spread across my face, "Well if that's the case, what are we having for breakfast today chef cook?"

He pretended to adjust a chef's hat on his head and bowed a bit, "Well m'lady today we are having scrambled eggs with bacon and as a desert you have two choices" he gave me a wink.

"And what are they?" I giggled and pulled up my eyebrows.

"Weeell" he paused shortly, "either a very delicious fruit salad or –which is my personal favorite- you can enjoy the cook"

"Jess!" I exclaimed and hit him on his chest laughing "I think I'll have the fruit salad."

He feigned being hurt and put his hand on his chest in an exaggerated manner "Well this hurts, but as you wish."

We spend the rest of the morning just messing around, feeding each other breakfast and laughing like we were teens in love.

∞∞∞

I sank down on the sofa and clutched my stomach, "I'm so full" I groaned.

"Well you know you could still choose the second desert and we could get some exercise in" he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I laughed at him and showed him the middle finger.

"Elaine Josefine Carter" he gasped "How dare you be so rude! This demands some type of consequence" he moved closer to me with outstretched arms.

"Jess..." my eyes widened "what are you up to? Don't you get dumb ideas!" I got off the couch getting ready to bolt if necessary.

"Me and dumb ideas? Never!" he simply laughed and proceeded to get closer to me.

I turned to make a run for it but didn't get far as he grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him making me squeal loudly. He threw me on the sofa and proceeded to tickle my sides. I laughed and tried to squirm out of his grip.

"Stop it! Stop it this instance!" I demanded while still laughing "Jesssss, you're going to make me cry!"

"I will consider letting you go if you say one simple sentence."

"What is it?" I screeched breathlessly.

"Jess is the best cook and I couldn't imagine any better desert than him!"

"Never!" I screamed and tried to run away but instead only rolled on my stomach which gave him even more power over me.

"Say it!"

"Okay,okay!" I exclaimed "Just please stop tickling me!" my eyes were already watering from laughing so much.

He paused briefly "Jess is the best cook and I couldn't imagine any better desert than him. There! Are you happy?"

"Very!" he smiled contently and let me turn back on my back.

I just laid there for a couple of moments trying to catch my breath giving him the evil eye which didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. Instead he simply continued to smile at me and after a while I got lost in that beautiful smile I had missed so dearly. He seemed to sense my thoughts as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet so he could embrace me. My ear was pressed against his chest and I could hear his rhythmic heartbeat. After a while I pulled out of his embrace and looked up to him to meet his stare.

In those eyes I saw what had made me fall in love him with. The duration of this short morning was enough to remind me of all the things he could make me feel. His stare dropped down to my knees and he licked his lips. Suddenly he grabbed my face with his big callused hands and crashed his lips on mine. I let myself fall back into his embrace and kissed him back passionately trying to put everything that I had been feeling these last couple years into the kiss.