(tw: arguing/angst idk😩)
it was probably the 8th time me and mattia had hooked up the month. you could call us "fuck buddies" i guess. but we weren't even that. we were only friends. nothing more. when we first started doing this, we said no feelings attached. and i don't like him. well i don't think i do.
i pulled some sweatpants from his drawer and put on a t-shirt that was in my backpack. he just stared at me while i did it. "what?" i laughed.
he looked like he wanted to cry. "y/n can we talk?" he said with a serious tone. he never was this serious. nor did he want to actually talk. it was just fuck and go.
"sure" i nodded and sat on his bed with him. he took a deep breath.
"you know how i said we weren't going to have any feelings attached?" he said and looked me in my eyes. i nodded. "well, throughout all the times we've done this, i kind of... i don't really know how to explain it" he said and ran his hands through his hair.
was he trying to tell me he liked me? or that he couldn't do this anymore? "mattia what are you trying to say?" i said and moved closer to him.
"i'm trying to say i love you. i guess" he said and looked up at me. his eyes were bloodshot red and his nose was running. i didn't know what to say.
(boy why is you crying-)
"mattia... we said we weren't gonna talk about this..." i mumbled and shifted nervously.
"i know. i know. i know. but i just keep wondering... do you feel the same?" he asked. i just stared at him. i can't say i like him. it would ruin everything.
"i...i don't-"
"y/n i just wanna know. i can't keep going on... wishing you were mine. we keep doing this. and i'm starting to think you only talk to me for... sex" he shrugged. i shook my head.
"no. that's not the only reason i hang out with you-"
"then name one reason why you do, besides sex" he said with an attitude.
"..." he looked away.
(girl is u dumb dumb or what?)
"y/n leave" he said. i tried to talk but he kept cutting me off.
"mattia-"
"please just go." he looked at me and his eyes were so red. i wanted to cry. but then i felt something drop to my arm. it was a teardrop. i was crying as well.
"you don't want me to go..." i said and touched his shoulder. he shrugged me off.
"ACTUALLY I DO. I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW" he yelled. i stepped back. i bit my lip and looked away trying to keep more tears from coming out.
(LMFAO)
"m-mattia you don't mean that-" i mumbled.
"Y/N. JUST GO. whatever this is" he pointed between us, "is over!"
i laughed and said, "i hope you know i never did feel the same about you. never liked you, never will!" i said and flicked him off. he chuckled looking away.
"y/n i'm not gonna say this again. leave." he deadass looked at me like he wanted to kill me. i opened the door and walked out, slamming it after.
i walked down the steps and outside. the cold air instantly hit my face and more tears fell. i walked home alone and when i got home i looked at my phone.
1 missed call from mattia👅
mattia: next time leave my clothes here.
y/n: next time? 😏
(not them being toxic.)
