Songs Of Love

Suicide Attempt

Something burns through this heart,

A silent void to fill,

Wherever I go, I come across,

A red cross,

I feel gross,

Inundated, pissed off,

Sucked into my soul,

Real pains of loving someone,

Something boils and ruptures my soul,

The game played with me of love was foul,

It made me lose her and there I lied scowl,

I made myself a fool, to believe in love.

Life is meant to be with someone you love,

I was there in the deepest of the cove,

While I slew myself for you, above,

Beneath, you were just someone I didn't know.

This heart has this empty void,

It goes on to search you on a thousand lonely nights,

Doesn't sleep, on the cot of loneliness,

But stays awake in the lies the world tells about us.

This heart lives through your memories,

Once that was buried I don't know why they keep rising,

Surprising me again and again,

Despising myself into surmising this little feeling into killing myself.

I stand in front of my mirror,

I don't recognize me,

The razor I held for an hour,

Touches my wrist, but doesn't cut myself,

The slitting of it draws out the blood,

When I cut,

Not blood, but something came out of it, '

I withered and swirled,

My eyes blurred,

I shook,

Got hooked,

Thwarted on the basin,

Snorted the powdered love from resins,

Poisoned I am in your love,

Dead I am now,

With blood spilling out of my hands,

And, head bursting with the euphoria of cocaine,

Cocaine, that was you,

When you entered my life, I snorted you and went insane,

Lived in disdain, found neurotoxicity.

Cocaine you were, or that razor that just cut my hand,

Here I lay bland,

Recalling moments we've lived together,

Yeah, I understand,

You, I have lost,

But, here I lay, blood spared, mind smeared,

Life running on second gear.

Blood thwarts off outside,

Minds shut off, I see you in the eyes of my mind,

Laughing, smiling, having me with you,

Then all I see is darkness.

I don't see anything, I hear heartbeats,

Timid little ones, beats of our beloved artist Keats,

Now there is nothing, but a fading heartbeat and welcoming darkness.

When I open my eyes, I hope I find you sitting beside me,

Holding my hand, speaking to me,

Kissing me, and making up for what was lost,

I hope, maybe something could happen.

But as we say, darkness took a toll,

I became its troll,

I lost control,

And I lost myself.

The world forgets me here,

Tomorrow will be a new morning, dear,

You'll be learning how I smeared and smashed my life cut open,

Popped up my veins and brains,

And there I will be living, in wind, shaking up your curtains.

But here I am, shaking my body,

Waking up in a hospital in front of a strange girl,

My neighbour, holding my hand,

Smiling at me.

Why, why can't I kill myself?