Someone You Loved // Sam Holland

140 3 5
                                    

A/N: this will be somehow inspired by a Tom Holland fic I absolutely love called "Remember When"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N POV

I'm going under too deep into my feelings and right now...I feel there's no one to save me...

Sam used to always be there for me...til one night when everything changed. Since the night he left me shattered outside...I never had anyone to go to when I felt down...

Yes I have other friends but everytime...just doesn't feel the same.

I need somebody to heal me...
Somebody to know my problems and understand..
Somebody to have with me...
And somebody to hold...

It's just never the same...I guess I kinda liked the way he numbed all the pain...

Now the light of day in me...bleeds into darkness and sadness...
And he's just not here to get me through it all...

He used to be there for me...always.

Everytime I broke down because of a heartbreak...
Everytime I got hurt and couldn't heal myself...
Everytime...everytime.

With him, I feel wanted...I feel loved...

I thought at first we had a special connection nothing or no one could ever break...

But I was wrong...

I let this happen...I let myself be like this...because..I was getting used to being someone he loved...

Tom or Harrison tried to cheer me up after what happened...even Harry tried...

Tom tried talking to Sam about it...
Harrison and Harry tried to talk me out of being the depressed bitch I am right now.

I get hurt...a lot.
But without Sam, it really is just too different...and that's what makes it too hard.

I was forbidden to see my half brother and my dad ever again...
I haven't seen two of my friends in over a year...almost 2.
Then I lose him...

They tried...they really tried to get me to feel better...but it never worked...cause it would always make it worse.

It makes everything worse by reminding me even more of the times we've shared together...where I felt love, happiness, and sadness too.

I couldn't take it anymore...
My stepdad was being abusive
My mum wouldn't believe me about it
Too much of my friends are fake
My whole family just makes me feel like shit

I get out of my thoughts and I find myself holding a blade cutting my wrist...what I didn't know...my once called best friend saw me doing it through the window...(you lived next door to the Hollands)

I heard my mum calling my name...

I wouldn't go out of my room...I couldn't be bothered to go downstairs...not right now..

Then I heard footsteps walking towards my room...I thought my bedroom door was locked but I heard it open and I heard a voice. His voice.

"Y/N..?" I heard Sam say..

"S-Sammy...?" I said through tears putting the blade down.

"What are you doing...? Why are you even doing this..? Please...stop...I- I can't see you like this. I can't see you do this to yourself..." he said with tears starting to form up in his eyes.

"I just...I can't take it anymore...when I had someone to help me...I could but now..." I said...just crying....

"Hey..shh..." he said then hugged me "I'm still here..."

"W-why did you leave me...? I thought you hated me because of that...do you realize what I've been going through without you there for me like before?! I-I didn't have anyone!" I said...feeling really hurt...

"I'm sorry...I didn't wanna do it but I had to..."

"W-why..?" I asked, probably drowning myself in my own tears.

"Because I'm in love with you...I was too scared that it would ruin everything between us...so I just had to do it..but hey...I'm here now..." he said... Trying to explain why he left me outside with a broken heart crying...

"But Sam..I love you...I wouldn't want anything more than to be with you..." I said

"You do..?" he asked, quite surprised...

"I do, Sam. I do love you. Please don't leave me like that again..."

"Only if you stop hurting yourself...I can't see you doing this to yourself anymore...Promise me...you will not do this again."

"I promise." I say then give him a light kiss

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Aaayeeee....I cried. That...made me fucking crrryyy....hope you liked it!

Word count: 754



Holland(+ Osterfield & Parker) ImaginesWhere stories live. Discover now