Understanding

Part 7

It's the day of the second meeting now and we are getting ready to go a few hours early because we are going to go to Andromeda's to see Teddy. She'll be happy to see her nephew again. Out of the three sisters, she was the only one who didn't end up in Azkaban and she is really all the family he has left.

"Are you sure it's ok for me to come?" Draco asks for the billionth time.

"Yes. Now would you shut up and finish getting ready?  I want to play with my godson." I huff and he pulls a sweater over his head and fixes his hair. Today he has opted for dark grey dress pants and a fitted green sweater. How very Slytherin.

"Alright, fussy. I'm ready." He rolls his eyes and I pull our brooms from the cupboard next to the door. Draco's Nimbus 2003 is sleek black with his name engraved in silver. My nimbus 2000 is still the same one I have had since I received it. I pass him his broom and we mount them. I kick off first and he follows. I head towards Andromeda's and Draco follows, looking around in awe. As we leave the vicinity of the place, it seems to disappear into thin air. When we land on Andromeda's doormat, she opens up as if she were expecting us.

"Draco?" She asks, looking at the very tall blonde. Anyone would be short compared to him.

"Hello, Aunt Andromeda. How are you?" He asks politely as she leads us inside.

"I'm well, son. Here, sit. I'll bring Teddy out." She smiles and leaves the room for a moment. Draco and I awkwardly sit next to one another on the loveseat. When she returns, she is holding the baby in her arms. He seems to be looking around in awe at the world. She hands him to me but when he sees Draco, he begins to squirm and reach towards him.

"Here. Do you want to hold him?" I whisper to Draco. He has leaned in to tickle Teddy, but the boy has his little fingers wrapped around Draco's thumb and I don't see him letting go anytime soon. I look up to get his answer and his head draws up to look at me. He has an easy smile on his face. We are so close, it's easy to see the flecks of grey in his eyes from here. 

"S-sure." He stutters, quickly snapping his eyes down to Teddy once again. He holds the baby close and rocks him. Teddy soon falls asleep in Draco's arm and I fight to not coo at them.

"You're really good with him." I compliment.

"Thanks. I'm surprised. I've never been around babies. They kind of scare me." He admits.

"In all of your dark lording, you never had time to play with babies? I'm stunned." I feign shock and he laughs heartedly.

"No, I guess I didn't." He rests the boy on his lap, supporting his head carefully.

"Harry? I'd like to ask you something serious." Andromeda begins. I look at her to continue. "I'm getting older. I... well... I'm sick, Harry. Very sick. I was wondering if after this school year you would like to take Teddy in as your own. I'd sign over the papers." She says.

"Of course, Andromeda. I'd love to take Teddy. And I'll bring him to visit as much as you want." I assure her and she seems to be relieved.

"Thank you. And Draco, you'll come visit too won't you?" She asks and I'm curious if he will tell her. Maybe she could vouch for him.

"Of course. Anytime." He agrees and doesn't say anything further. As we are leaving, I stop him from taking off.

"Why didn't you tell her about your trial? She could vouch for you." I tell him.

"Didn't you hear her? She's sick. From the looks of it, she hasn't left her house in a long while.  Did you see the candy dish next to her chair? It's huge and always full to the brim and it was almost empty. I couldn't ask her to do that for me." He sighs. I frown at his kindness. Can't he be selfish? What kind of person is arrogant and not selfish? Despite my perril, we head off to Hogwarts. When we arrive, the Great Hall is already filling up with people. Arriving with Draco raises question and he seems to realize this too as he splits off from me goes to sit with his other Slytherins. The group is down to only three Slytherins left. Part from the trials and other part from how unwelcoming everyone was the first time. I sit next to Hermione who is with a mopey Ron.

"I'm sorry I blew up. I just don't like him and what he represents but I realize now that it was crazy for me to become so hostile towards him and you. Whatever relationship the two of you habe going forward, I will support it." Ron says in a very robotic voice. I can tell Hermione has coached him and made him memorize that but I dont think she realizes how fake it makes him sound.

"Thanks, mate. He's just staying temporarily but until then, he is promising to be nice and civil too." I respond and Ron gives a hesitant smile. It doesnt reach his eyes but at least I know there won't be any more fights.

"Good evening everyone."

"Good evening, Professor McGonagall." Some of us say in sync out of habit.

"Does anyone want to talk about how they are feeling first?" She asks.

"I'm angry. Why do they get to be here?" Dean Thomas asks bitterly, pointing to the few Slytherins that are left.

"Because they are students too and many of them didn't have a choice. Mr. Thomas, if comments like these persist, I will send you out." Mcgonagall threatens, defending the others.

"Can I say something?" A very small but determined voice speaks up from amongst the group.

"Of course."

"This is not meant to be rude, but why are you here?" The timid boy asks the Slytherins. Blaise is getting ready to speak when Draco interrupts him.

"I really didn't have a choice. Of course I didn't want to disappoint my father, but I had other reasons. He threatened my mother's life. And my father forced me to. By any means he seemed necessary. It wasn't easy being initiated. Voldemort felt that the younger ones of us should be frightened so that we couldn't leave. He tortured us with cruciatus and branded our flesh before he even put the mark on us. And the mark was the worst pain of it all. I didn't do any of this for fun and I would have never been a part of it if I had a choice." Draco finishes and a part of me wants to hug him. A part of Hermione seems to want to hug him too because her lip quivers as she looks at him. She reaches a hand across the few people separating us from Draco and squeezes his.

"You didnt tell me you were tortured with cruciatus, Draco. That could cause permanent damage." McGonagall looks at the boy with pity.

"I didn't tell you about any of the times they tortured me with cruciatus. I didnt tell you about any of the times I was tortured in general because it's not really something I'm proud of." The other students look at him thoughtfully now, most likely wondering what exactly this boy has been through. I only say this because it's what I'm wondering too.

"Do you get nightmares?" The question comes from my mouth before I can stop it but he nods anyway.

"Almost every night." He admits.

"Me too."

"Harry, would you like to share?" McGonagall asks me.

"I lost my parents to him. He turned my life upside down so many times but he still always managed to get to me. I should have been used to it but I wasn't and I'm not. Every bit of the pain was just as bad as the other. He hurt me too... But I can't imagine going through what Draco did. I thought mine was bad but fuck. He was always there with him. And Voldemort was so sadistic. I know he's hurt more than I have." I mumble. The realization sends me back to the bathroom where he is crying and the mirror is smashed. Glass surrounds the sink and I'm silently begging him not to pick it up and hurt himself. I understand now why he was crying.

The session continues on for a while. Everyone's sharing seems halfhearted now. The two worst ones physically have already shared and I fear that we are the most damaged mentally too. But I don't want to belittle anyone's problems so I don't add my story. Once it's over, Draco and I leave together. This time we don't walk so far apart and our brooms fly side by side with some sort of mutual understanding. I have a nightmare and wake up crying and I have to hug my knees to my chest and bury my head in the bundled up sweater to keep from being heard.