Astronomical (girlxgirl)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight (Skye's POV)

As Rose drove me home on Friday afternoon, I sat quietly mulling over my day. Mostly, I was still shocked at how huge Rose's mansion was – and how beautifully it was decorated. I compared it to my house and marvelled at how warm, cosy, and welcoming her home was – much like Rose herself.

It suits her to a tee; natural colours, comfortable furniture, a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere, and sunlit rooms filled with people and laughter and love...

"I'm sorry about my Mum – she can be a little overexuberant..." Rose laughed awkwardly as we pulled up outside my house.

I met her swirling chocolatey eyes and smiled, "I don't mind; she was nice". Amelia had tried to send me home with a plate of chocolate-chip cookies that she admitted she didn't make herself – echoing her daughter's sentiments that I was 'too thin'. "I can see where you get your confidence from, and also your charm. But I can also see parts of your Father in you, as well", I said, thinking of the impression Brad gave – composed and watchful, intelligent and well-spoken.

At first, I had found it strange to hear Rose speak so formally of her Dad, but once I met him, there was something about Brad made 'Father' the more appropriate term.

I felt grief well unbidden in my chest like tears, thinking of my parents. I had only been a child when they were killed, so I didn't know much about their identities other than that they were my Mum and Dad.

I only had childhood memories about Mum reading me books, or Dad walking me to school; I couldn't tell you their favourite colours, or idiosyncrasies, or political views. And now, I will never get the chance to learn those things... The traits that made them so much more than just my parents but people in their own right...

I made myself smile to cover up the sudden emotions squeezing my throat shut, but Rose seemed to always notice my moods, "I'm sorry – that was a total bitch move; here I am complaining about my parents, when..." She trailed off uncertainly.

I was glad that she didn't ask for details about why I lived with Aunt Lauren – that Rose waited for me to tell her when I was ready. I saw the confusion in her eyes any time I spoke of Aunt Lauren, but she never pushed to hear the details of my home life. This wasn't a topic of gossip for her or menial curiosity; she genuinely felt sorry that I didn't have my parents, without even knowing the circumstances.

Gratitude made my eyes tear – Rose was extroverted and confident, yet she managed to be understanding and compassionate. I didn't know what to do with the emotion; I had never really felt such strong affection for someone before.

I could feel myself blush as Rose carefully tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, her fingers as gentle as one would handle porcelain. I have never met anyone as sweet and protective as Rose... I never want to leave her side...

So, I kissed her.

What the fuck are you doing, Skye?! And then I flinched away because I had cursed – even if just in my head – and looked guiltily into Rose's eyes.

Her lips had been warm and slightly chapped – softer than I was expecting. I just gave my first kiss to a woman that I've only been on one date with, I screamed at myself and fumbled blindly to undo my seatbelt.

I glanced back at Rose, hoping I hadn't ruined everything, because she was still sitting there as if in a trance.

"I'm so sorry –" I tried to get out between the panicked breaths, but froze when I felt her long fingers cup my face. "Rose, I –" I was cut off by those lips I had tasted for only a second, and let my hands go slack in my lap.

Rose is kissing me...

I don't know what I was meant to feel or do – movies hadn't prepared me for this either – so I sat still, closing my eyes, just letting Rose take the lead.

Coffee doesn't taste as bitter when it's mixed with the natural sweetness of her lips...

Am I doing this right?

I wish I had a chance to brush my teeth to make sure there were no traces of food stuck there...

Should I open my mouth? Should I open my eyes?

What if I'm a terrible kisser? What if this is some prank and there are hidden cameras, and this ends up on YouTube for millions of people to laugh at?

Before I could get too caught up in my thoughts, Rose pulled away.

We just sat, staring at each for a minute, without speaking.

"Skye, I... I-I-I mean... was that ok?" I don't think I had ever heard Rose sound so unsure of herself before.

It somehow made me feel better – to know that I wasn't the only inexperienced one. To see how unsure and vulnerable Rose was. As if my opinion mattered more than anyone else's in the world; as if I could make or break her with one word.

I leant in, leaving my eyes open and trained on hers this time, and pecked her lips gently, "You were perfect, Rose".

It's not as if my doubts instantly disappeared – more like I was able to distance myself from them and focus on the moment.

I had kissed Rose... Rose kissed me...

I felt a smile tug at my lips, and the silence was no longer anxious and full of unspoken worries. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning..." I left the sentence hanging, hoping that the past five minutes hadn't changed our plans for the next day.

"Bright and early", Rose responded – her confident, lopsided grin returning once more.

As I made my way inside, I couldn't really feel my legs touching the ground. It was as if I were floating rather than walking; the familiar colour scheme of my hallway seemed unreal as if I were seeing it for the first time. I don't even remember unlocking the door...

I automatically checked my appearance in the entryway mirror and should have felt worried at how bright and glazed my eyes looked – at how my dark red cheeks were upturned in a wild smile. You just kissed Rose, a woman you've known for a week, I told my reflection disbelievingly.

It hadn't been exploding fireworks or tumultuous music or even sparks shooting through my veins – but, like I had said to Rose, it was perfect. Sweet and gentle and warm, just like Rose...

The adrenaline began to wear off as I plodded into the kitchen, leaving room for self-doubt to rear its familiar head. This is why we think before we act, Skye; so we can be sure we have made the right decision without being blinded by impulsivity and hormones...

I decided that my stomach was too unsettled for dinner, and made my way upstairs to take a cool shower to try and collect myself. No matter what I did to distract myself – shave my legs, wash my hair, apply a face mask, or later paint my toenails – I kept returning to the feeling of Rose's lips against mine.

I wish my Mum were still alive, I thought wearily to myself. Mum's are meant to always know the right thing to say; she would be able to tell me what to do...

I thought about Aunt Lauren, and how Aunts were 'meant' to be fun – spoiling and corrupting their nieces by turn. I even considered Mr Mosley and how he was 'meant' to act as a teacher; fostering young minds, with supportive enthusiasm.

I guess people aren't always what they are 'meant' to be, I reflected, feeling my shoulders curve inward at the depressing thought. Who do I turn to? Who can I trust to give me the right answer, when I know people are just human – they make mistakes and have their own insecurities and don't know everything?...

Climbing into bed, I remembered the expression on Rose's face when she asked me if our kiss was 'ok' and smiled softly. She isn't as confident and self-assured as she tries to make everyone believe... But it's actually really endearing that she isn't as invincible as she first seemed...

Try as I might, I could not sleep that night; I kept replaying the feeling of her soft, chapped lips pressing lightly against mine.