It Can't Wait

Chapter 9

"Yes, Dean. What was it that you wanted to tell me?" Cas asked, tiliting his head again.

"Uh, I - um..." Dean sputtered. He was nervous as hell to tell Castiel he loved him. Dean searhed for the right words. Shit, how am I going to say this? Dean thought. He should have thought this through a little more.

"Dean," Cas said. "Just spit it out."

"Castiel Novak," Dean began. "I am in love with you. And I will love you as long as there is a Castiel for me to love. Ever since the day we came back from Christmas break when we were sophmores, I have been in love with you. I cannot imagine a life without you in it -" Dean stopped when he saw the look on Cas' face. "Cas, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what I was thinking. I... um... I'm so sorry."

Cas just looked stunned and he wasn't saying anything. Dean knew Cas was gay just like Dean but Dean wondered if he didn't feel the same way about Dean.

"Dean, what do you have to be sorry about? It was just an honest confession," Cas said quietly, looking down. Slowly he looked up. "Dean Winchester," he hesitated. "I am in love you, too. I can't even begin to imagine a world without you. I know that I haven't exact;y been the most friendly person since Gabe died, but when most people would've left, you stayed with me to make sure I didn't do something stupid. Like kill myself, because believe me, there were times when I thought that was going to be the only way I could ever feel better. But then you would say something stupid and something inside of me would light up and I would feel happier -" Castiel was cut off by Dean leaning in to kiss him and their lips meeting.

Just like the first time, Cas went rigid right away but slowly melted into it. It had been almost five months since the last time they had kissed. 

Dean was nervous to do it at first while Cas was rambling on, Dean just couldn't bear to listen any longer to how Cas had thought about killing himself because of the pain of losing his brother. Dean would have been the same way, and he knew that. 

At first, the kiss was slow and thoughtful, neither boy really knowing what he was doing. After a bit, Dean had managed to push Cas down onto the hard floor where they had been sitting after the flour fight. Cas pulled off his tan trench coat and Dean's dark brown leather jacket, and in the meantime, Dean was pulling at the short hairs at the base of Cas' neck, earning a small moan to escape the other boy's lips. They sat up, not once breaking the kiss, and made their way over to the couch where Cas was on top of Dean this time. 

Dean broke the kiss for a moment to give Cas a small smile. "Oh, how the tables have turned," he said in a deep voice. "But I like the direction this is going."

Cas just barked a laugh and leaned in to kiss Dean again. Dean ran his tounge along Cas' bottom lip, just begging for entrance. Cas seemed to gladly allow, and their tounges slid together for a while before Dean pulled his head away and down to place small kisses on the side of Cas's neck. Cas tilted his head back and grabbed the hair it the top of Dean's head. Dean looked up to see Cas laying with his eyes closed, breathing heavily, and let out a small laugh on the surface of Cas's neck, sending shivers through Cas. 

"Are you cold, baby?" Dean asked, lifting his head. "We can go upstairs if you like? Into my room..."

"Sure, Dean," Cas replied in a whisper.

They made their way up the stairs and into Dean's bedroom where he shut the door. Sam was at a classmate's house working on a project so they wouldn't have to worry about him. Dean picked Cas up and gently laid him down on top of the comforter. Cas quickly crawled under and Dean followed suit, taking off his shirt in the process, leaving him with only his pants. 

"Dean, if this is wrong," Cas said, whispering. "Then I don't want to be right."

Dean just nodded his head and continued to climb into bed. Cas had pulled off his shirt and Dean ran his hands up and down the other boy's chest. He had been wanting to do just that for so long, to know every contour and memorize every crevice on his body. Dean looked up into the blue eyes that continued to fascinate him more and more every day.

They lay under the blankets, absorbing each other's body heat for a while before Cas fell asleep. Dean gently kissed the top of his head and wrapped his arms around him to keep him warm. 

***

(The next morning)

Dean woke up to the sun shining in his eyes and the slam of the front door. His arms were still around Cas's middle, and he looked remarkably small sleeping there. So it wasn't a dream, Dean thought, still wondering who could possibly be home. He knew Sam was supposed to be back late last night but he didn't think it would be so early in the morning.

Reluctantly, Dean got out of bed and threw on a t-shirt before he headed downstairs. Halfway through pulling his shirt on he realized, John. 

John had been gone for almost six months, the longest he had ever been gone for. But, Dean decided he should go downstairs to make sure Sam wasn't down there yet. He made sure Cas was sound asleep, closed the door as quietly as possible - there was a chance this could get ugly and he didn't want to wake him up - and made his was soundlessly down the stairs.

When he got there, John was already asleep on the couch, obviously drunk. Dean casually made his way to the kitchen, knowing that he would wake him up no matter what he did, no matter how quiet he tried to be.

"Who is that?" asked a raspy voice from the couch. As Dean walked by, John sat up, and Dean flinched. "Dean, my boy. How have you been?" he asked.

"H-hey dad," Dean stuttered. "I'm good. H-how are you?"

"Good! Good! How's Sammy?" John asked, a bit too cheerfully. "And you, Dean? Have you got a girlfriend yet?"

"No, sir, I haven't got a girlfriend quite yet." Dean was avoiding the subject of him and Cas as long as he could. "And Sam is still sleeping, I think. He was working on a project last night with a classmate."

"Well, Dean," John said in all seriousness. "I only came home to take Sam with me. I'm moving to Sioux Falls."

"Dad, we can't leave." Dean pleaded.

"We?" John barked. "Dean, you're not understanding me. You're not coming with me. You've gotta fend for yourself from now on. You're 18."

"Dad you can't just take Sam away from me. He's the only one who's actually been there for me when you weren't. I was the only one who was there for HIM when your drunk ass was gone." Dean shouted back at John.

John stood up, his face was filled with rage. He reached out to hit Dean but Dean was quicker. He dodged John's fist and grabbed the gun he had stuffed in the waist band of his pants. Its was a .45 Colt. A small gift from his Uncle Garth on his 15th birthday. It had never been shot. 

"Dad, I swear if you come any closer to me, I will shoot you." Dean said in a surpisingly calm voice.

"Dean," John said nervously. "You wouldn't actually shoot your own father now, would you?"

"Father?" Dean said, still pointing the gun at John's chest. "You stopped being a dad to me when mom died, when you started drinking, and when you left us. If you think I can EVER forgive you for what you did, then you are the farthest thing from being right."

Dean's hand was starting to shake, his confidence starting to falter. But then, John made the worst - and last - move of his life. He took a step towards Dean and Dean let his finger tighten on the trigger.

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(A/N)

AHHHH!!! So I think I'll only do one more chapter, maybe two, not sure yet. What's gonna happen????? Anyways, luv you all!!!!! :)

P.S. Oh yeah, and totally not relevant to the story but, I dedicated this to my best friend Katrina. She has been going through some really hard times right now. Send her love!