I don't need your God

CHAPTER 15

Kaz paced about her bedroom in the Shaw's residence, unable to shake that powerful presence around her. She kept looking over her shoulder as if someone or something was sitting on her shoulder. She felt like Lady Macbeth screaming at the imaginary blood spots in the palm of her hand screaming
"Out! Out damn spot!"
Neither could she erase the relentless onslaught of her mind's desire to enact what the pastor had been urging. Off its own accord, her mouth began to utter syllables and sounds. She tried to shut her mind off; she tried to stop her mouth from speaking, but it was like another force had taken control of her life. It was not a sinister force by any means, more a calming force, a powerful force that seemed to relay to her that it wanted to take her troubles away, a force that was saying to her, "put your burdens on my shoulders;"

'Stop! Stop!' She screamed and fell to her knees. 'Get away! Get away from me! Whoever you are just leave me alone!' she pounded her hands on the bed, tossing her head from left to right. 'I hate you! You were never there when I needed you! You let him ___.'

'Kaz! Kaz! What's happening?' She dropped to her knees, draping her arm around Kaz.

'Ms Shaw!' Kaz looked around through her tear drenched face as if seeing the room for the first time. 'What are you doing here?' Kaz whispered, in a strange voice.

'We___just got back from church.'

Kaz looked up and saw Ryan and Ms. Shaws' parents at the door, their eyes filled with concern. Ms. Shaw gently wiped the tears from her face. 'We could hear you ___from outside. I thought somebody was harming you,' Ms. Shaw drew her protectively into her arms. Kaz threw her arms around Ms. Shaw, holding onto her tightly as if trying to seek shelter.

'I'm here Kaz,' Ms. Shaw whispered comfortingly. 'It's okay,' she murmured soothingly. Ms. Shaw looked up at Ryan and her parents and nodded to them imperceptibly as if silently asking them to leave her alone with Kaz. Her mum smiled, she tugged Ryan and her husband's arm, drawing them away from Kaz's bedroom.

'Get Him away from me!' Kaz sobbed. He's trying to control my mind!'

'Who?' Ms. Shaw asked in confusion, patting her palm gently down Kaz's back.

'That so called "Holy Spirit!"'

'What!'

'I was there!' Kaz exhaled heavily.

'Where? What are you talking about sweetheart?'

Kaz stood up. 'At your church. I heard ___the pastor. He was telling people___.'

'You came to the church!' Ms. Shaw lifted herself up. 'How? Why didn't you tell me you wanted to go? Did you hurt your ankle getting there? How did you__?'

'Ms. Shaw!' Kaz was the one laying her palm on Ms. Shaw's shoulder. 'I took the bus.'

'The bus! You could have come in my car. I would have helped you into the car.'

'Ms. Shaw, calm down,' Kaz giggled. 'Only after you left, I ___decided to go. I called Josh. He didn't answer, so I just decided to hop onto a bus. I was careful and I did not hurt myself.'

'So you came?' Ms. Shaw smiled. 'You came to my church?' She took Kaz's hands into her own.

'I did not want to,' Kaz began, 'and I did not want to stay either,' she blurted, 'but something just had me rooted to the spot there. I stood up to leave, but I could not move,' Kaz looked into the distance, her thoughts miles away. 'And all the way on the bus, He kept poking at my brain,' she scowled. He wanted me to speak that mumbo jumbo tongue language.'

'Who?' Ms. Shaw whispered.

'That Holy Spirit, that's who! He's after me. He's messing with my brain!'