Any writing that you read that has clunky words or words that don't really carry any meaning to them seems like novice writing. It's difficult to immerse yourself in a story when you're too busy noticing how many times the author uses the word "that." Getting rid of these words is part of the finishing touches phase of novel building. But what if I told you that not ALL weak words deserve to die? It's true – sometimes you should cut them, but SOMETIMES... you should keep them.
by Abbie Emmons
1. SUDDENLY
CUT IT: When the action happens just as suddenly without you needing to say "suddenly."
✕ I turn away suddenly, heading for my bike. A few kids ask me where I'm going, but I pretend I can't hear them over the music.
✓ I turn away, heading for my bike. A few kids ask me where I'm going, but I pretend I can't hear them over the music.
KEEP IT: When something is sudden enough to throw off your character - and thus, throws off your reader.
✓ Everything erupts into chaos - shouts and cusses. My adrenaline spikes and suddenly every muscle in my body is on fire.
2. THEN
CUT IT: If the sentence flows normally when it's gone.
✕ He stares at me, blinking as if I'm a ghost. Then he pulls off his headphones, letting them drop around his neck.
✓ He stares at me, blinking as if I'm a ghost. He pulls off his headphones, letting them drop around his neck.
KEEP IT: If it's "bridging the gap" between two actions and highlighting the difference.
✓ Trees and sunlight blur around me, then give way to a clearing.
3. VERY/REALLY
CUT IT: When you could use a stronger word.
✕ After that, she curls my hair for me. It's actually really cute - soft beach waves that touch my shoulders.
✓ After that, she curls my hair for me. It's actually adorable - soft beach waves that touch my shoulders.
KEEP IT: In cases of the very next day, the very front, the very back, the edge, really there, really happening, really consider, etc. and everwhere it sounds better with "really/very" than without.
✓ I try to find a way to thank him without really thanking him at all.
4. IS/WAS
CUT IT: When you can show us what the subject is DOING instead of what the subject simply IS.
✕ She was small and curvy, wearing a lacy white dress and holding a hairbrush in one hand. The soft light was reflecting in her eyes and making her milk-pale skin seem to glow.
✓ A lacy white dress hugged her small, curvy figure and she held a hairbrush in one hand. Her milk-pale skin glowed in the soft light - and her eyes reflected in it.
KEEP IT: When the subject is inactive AND you need to convey the information quickly.
✓ The closest mall is fifty miles away, so it's never a frequent outing.
5. STARTED/BEGAN
CUT IT: When literally NOTHING changes if it's gone.
✕ Despite the murmur of the party guests and the muted chorus of an old Christmas album that has started playing, the room is quiet to my ears.
YOU ARE READING
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