Story of a Girl

Broken

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  ~Mark Twain

She thought it best to keep quiet and let the boy have his fun though deep inside, she worried and fretted about his idea of fun: bar-hopping and drinking. He wasn’t that much of a drinker and Lara knew he was apt to do stupid things when he gets drunk.

Lara didn’t know it then but her worrying and fretting were about to be justified. It was a few days before Shin’s homecoming to the province when all hell broke loose. Again. And this time it was much worse than anybody could imagine.

“Mare, Shin and our other high school friends are going out tonight. Do you think I should go?” The message from Alex read.

Lara sat down for a minute and considered. “Hmmm. I think it would be ok. Ikaw, what do you want ba?” She replied.

“I think hindi na lang siguro.”

“Ok.” Lara said. She then typed another text message, this time to Shin. “Heard you’re going out with the high school crowd tonight. Have fun and tc!”

Shin didn’t reply but Lara figured he might have been busy. So she went to bed that night, unhampered by any worry but feeling slightly envious of the fact that her friends are getting together while she was here about to go to sleep.  

The next day was a Saturday and Lara woke up quite late. The first thing she did was check her phone for messages but there was none.

She frowned. Must have been another party that lasted till the wee hours of the morning, she thought. Oh well.

It was already past nine o’clock in the morning when her cell phone beeped. It was a message from Paige.

“Lara, Alex is gonna call you and tell you something. Please be kind to her,” it read. “I know you have sacrificed a lot but for friendship’s sake, please be strong and endure this sacrifice again. Kailangan talaga eh.”

Instantly, Lara felt that all-too familiar constriction in her chest. She was not able to reply anymore because the phone started ringing again.

Alex.

“H-Hey, Alex...” She greeted feebly.

“Lara,” Alex sounded like she was crying and Lara started to feel tears springing up too. She slumped down on the floor and listened. “Lara, I’m so stupid. I’m so, so stupid. I must be the most stupid person in the world...”

“Shhh, Alex, what is it? What happened?”

Alex continued sobbing. “Last night, I shouldn’t have gone. I went, you see—”

“You said, you wouldn’t--”

“Oo nga e, but I went because I had nothing else to do and it was a mistake—I didn’t mean to Lara, it was a mistake—I—”

“Anong nangyari?”

“He was drunk—and so was I. I didn’t mean to—after going to the bar with the others, we went to another place for another round of drinks just the two of us. Then before I knew it, we were in my apartment and—” Alex’s sobs quieted down to a whisper, “something happened.”

Lara leaned back against the nearest wall and tried to steady her breathing. God help me, God give me strength, she prayed silently. Oh, God. Why? Why always to her? What wrongdoing has she done to receive a punishment as heavy as this one?

“Lara,” Alex spoke again. “It was awful after. He just upped and left saying something about being friends as if nothing of significance happened. I felt so bad about myself, I wanted to die. Please—Lara, please don’t hate me...”