Story of a Girl

Old Habits Die Hard

“Keep moving if you love life and keep your troubles well behind you.” John Mccain

 

It was true. Although Shin and Lara didn’t spoke of it, they understand that what had transpired was another big mistake and they had no one else to blame but themselves. They lost faith—he lost faith in her and she, in him.

Lara didn’t want to blame everything on Shin though. Yes, he was the first to lose it first; nevertheless, Lara knew she had her shortcomings as well.

For one thing, she allowed him to lose faith and when he did, she gave him up too easily. She had that vague idea of letting him go so he could be happy but maybe that wasn’t what he wanted in the first place. Maybe he just needed assurance and he wanted to hear her say, “No, I won’t let you give this up” but instead, she allowed him to go and make a fool out of himself with that girl. In the process, he had hurt her, she had hurt him and she had let the other girl hurt him too.

So here they are, back to square one, picking up the pieces of what they have broken so fast and at so short a time.

It was rather ironic really, the way everything is taking place now. They are actually spending more time chatting online—why in the world have they not thought of that before? Then they could have communicated more and avoided all the drama.

“You know what, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what happened in the last few months.” He told Lara one time, during their chat sessions.

“And?”

“And I realized what a jerk I was for even thinking that I’m actually in love with Maritel. I mean, I couldn’t imagine what attracted me to her—she’s not even pretty.”

“Shin, that’s a very rude thing to say! Gago ka rin ano?” She scolded him.

“But it’s true, she’s not the least attractive. I guess I was just displacing my feelings on her. I even find it funny now.”

“Oh sure, but you were so heartbroken about it all the same.”

“Serves me right I guess. And I hurt you really bad, didn’t I? Sorry for that, Lara.”

“It’s ok, Shin,” she assured him. “There’s no use in crying over spilt milk. Anyway, we’re still here aren’t we? And that’s what’s important.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “And I’m glad.”

“Oh so now, you’re glad, you baka-saru.”

“Are you a pig still, Lara?” He joked back good-naturedly. “You were so chubby, I recall.”

“Oh no, not at all. In fact I’m very sexy now,” was her ready retort. “How about you, are your ears still very large, Shin?”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny Lara...Hey Lara, do you remember when we were in high school?”

“What about high school?”

“Well,” he said. “I just remembered that you were good in dancing then.”

Those were the days, Lara thought a bit mortified. She can recall that embarrassing gold backless costume they wore once. Uggh! “Yeah, I guess.” She said.

“I used to be in awe of you and Lee and the others, ‘cause you danced so well. And I think I did have a crush on all of you back then.” He confessed.

“You did? Ha, ha, ha. All I can remember are the corny costumes.”

“Oh yeah. I remembered those too. Pero feel na feel niyo naman nun.”

 Lara reddened visibly and she was glad that Shin was million miles away and will not be able to watch her in her discomfiture. He had always liked watching her get embarrassed.

“Hahh! Look who’s talking. E ikaw kaya, you even joined Mr. Nutrition, very, very, very hilarious!” She retorted vindictively.

“Crap, I did huhh? Now, that’s embarrassing.”

“You even had your humongous bag with you on stage for the Best in School Uniform portion. Geez, I can never forget the size of that back-pack, I think it reached to my knees. It was really big but it contained nothing!”

“Just for show.” He said.

“Yes. And of course, there was this perpetual deer-in-the-headlights look in your face the whole time you were on stage. Ha, ha, ha.”

“Well, you can stop embarrassing me now, girl...”

“And you danced too in your talent portion and modelled...”

“Shut up already, Lara!”

Lara bit her lower lip to keep herself from laughing out loud. What would people think of her if she suddenly burst out laughing in front of a computer?

“Ok, ok. I’ll stop already.” She typed mirthfully. “Sorry, sorry, can’t help it. And you started it anyway.”

“So I did. I should have known better that you will turn the tables on me in this one.”

“Ha, ha, ha. No hard feelings?”

“None.”

“You sure? ‘Cause I have a feeling you are plotting for my soonest downfall the next time you get the chance.”

“Good one, you just gave me an idea.”

“Try me, I’m ready anytime.”

It was a relief to just talk like they do now. Lara no longer had that choking sensation she felt every time she sat down in front of the computer to read Shin’s messages. For the past few months, Lara had felt that way—the mere action of reading the emails sapped every bit of vitality in her.

 Thank goodness that was all over.

She just didn’t tell him so, but she was glad as well; glad that they could forget the bad and just chat and banter so easily now. She missed this and she realized with surprise that she and Shin had not talked in this manner since their high school days.

Why in the world, did they stop doing that? Those were always the good times.

But no matter, she thought

For now, that was enough for this brand-new start. A brand new start for what exactly? Friendship? Love? For now, she didn’t care. Whichever will do, as long as he is back in her life.

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