Beneath the Skin

Old Wounds Part 1

Alec stood still, eyes locked on Magnus who was on the verge of tears. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out except what sounded like a croak. He was speechless.

Magnus reached out and grabbed Alec's arm and gripped it tight. Blood was still dripping down his arms, cuts still open. Magnus snapped his fingers and hovered his hand over the cuts, wavering it back and forth. Alec winced in pain as the blue flames from Magnus's hands closed his wounds. The cuts were now just a memory, his arm having no trace of any wounds.

Magnus let go of Alec's arm and grabbed his hands, setting his in Alec's. Alec put his head down, avoiding eye contact with Magnus. "Alec, we need to talk about this." Magnus let a tear slide down his face. Watching Alec suffer was the hardest thing he ever had to do. "Please talk to me!" Alec kept his head down, unable to look at the man standing before him, the man he loved. "I told you before...when things get hard, don't push me away." He recited to Alec, recalling what he had previously told him when they first stared going out.

Alec finally looked up at Magnus, raising his head slowly to show he had been crying, a tear falling from his icy blue eyes and trailing down his face. "Magnus..." He choked, trying to find the words, "I'm so sorry." Another tear fell down his face as he stared at Magnus who was teary eyed and fighting the urge to cry. "I never meant for you to see this side of me-" Alec paused for a moment, "to see this broken part of me that I've kept away for so long."

As Alec spoke, Magnus was running through his mind, thoughts racing back and forth. What could have happened for him to feel this way? Why did I not see this? Why was I so blind??

Alec squeezed Magnus's hand to keep him from falling. "I never wanted you to see this. I tried so hard to keep you away from it but after what happened-" He paused, "after what I-I did..." The image of himself standing of Jocelyn's body, his hand covered in blood, flashed through his mind, punching him in the face. Alec couldn't take it and let go of Magnus's hands, falling to his knees, sobbing. Alec cried out in agony and Magnus sat on his knees, grabbing hold of Alec and pulling him into a hug. Alec cried into his shoulder, uncontrollable cries that echoed through the bathroom.

"Alexander, it's okay. I'm here now." Magnus grabbed the back of Alec's head, pulling him closer as Alec cried out and gripped Magnus tighter than he ever had before. He felt so helpless as he sat there with Alec, listening to the pain in his cries. There was a part of him that wanted to be angry at Alec for what he was doing to himself, how he was slowly killing himself, but the anger was overpowered by the guilt of not knowing how much he was suffering. The sounds of Alec's cries broke Magnus's heart, knowing how miserable Alec was.

...

Back at the Institute, Jace walked up to Isabelle in a panic, "Hey Izzy, have you seen Alec?"

She could hear the worry in his voice as he spoke. "No, I haven't. I'm sure he's with Magnus though. There's no need for you to worry Jace." Her voice was steady and calm, never wavering like Jace's did.

"Do you know that for sure though?" He started to fidget with the ring he had on his neck. It was the Herondale family ring that he wore on a chain around his neck. "I can feel something wrong. Alec is hurting, Izzy." Jace's face started to scrunch as he tried to fight back the tears in his eyes. "Please Izzy. I need to know where he is."

Izzy could see the fear in Jace's eyes as he spoke, her heart racing. "Jace, are you sure? I'm sure Alec is okay! If it helps you calm down, I'll call him for you." She pulls out her phone from the back pocket of her leather jeans. "Does that work for you?"

Jace nodded. "Thank you Izzy." He continued to move the ring on the chain back and forth as he watched Isabelle dial Alec's number.

She put the phone on speaker so Jace could hear it. Ring. Ring. Ring.