Almost Perfect World

Lost It All

We were finally at the hospital, and I would have sworn that I was going to have a heart attack. My heart was beating really fast. I did not know if Drew was alive or not. He might wake up or not, and that thought frightened me constantly. 

I was looking for a doctor to tell me something, but no one there seemed to know a thing! I hated that fact. I totally looked like I was out of my mind, asking everyone who worked there if they knew anything: no result from that, but I was embarrassing myself. I did not care about that though.

The principal was trying to calm me down, but he could not do that. Eventually, I found someone who knew something! It was a nurse. I really thanked that I had found someone. 

- First of all - she started talking -, he is alive - I finally could breathe -, but he's grave. We still don't know much, he's in the OR. You should calm down, we'll give you as much information as we can. 

- Thank you so much - I answered, feeling calmer, but still nervous -.

I sat down in one of the hospital's chairs of the waiting room. The principal sat down next to me and put his hand upon my shoulder. Then, he hugged me and told me that everything was going to be okay. I pleased that a lot, and hoped that he was right. 

Time was passing by, but we did not have any new. While I was sitting there, waiting, my parents and Kathy arrived. 

- Are you okay, sweetie? - Asked me my mom when she arrived, and I looked her at her eyes, and tried to speak. 

- I'm not okay, mom - I told her and she hugged me. It was that kind of hug that only mothers give you, that make you feel like everything is going to be okay. That hug did make me feel better -.

They all knew what had happened; even Kathy who had not come to high school that day because she had an appointment. I guessed that my parents had told her everything and told her to come. They all were telling me that everything was going to be okay, but they did not know anything, really. I knew that they were saying that to try to make me feel better or calm me down, but what if it was not going to be okay? I wished that what they were saying was true. All I could do was pray, and so did I. I prayed a lot. I am a Christian, but I did not use to pray everyday, but that that I did pray. 

I wanted everything to be like it was in the past. I wanted to leave that place, go away and never, ever look back. I wanted to forget about the world, and its people, cruel people. 

It had already gone by an hour since I had come to the hospital, but no doctor came to talk to us. That could be whether good or bad. If they had not come yet, that meant that he was not dead. But maybe he was not doing very well. 

Why did these things happen in that moment of my life? Why did they happen? I had had a loss recently, and I had an idea to change the world, and then... everything broken! It all had just disappeared in a second, a moment. 

Why had I decided to make that project? Everything was my fault. Drew had got a shot because of me, because I told him to join me, then he came with me to the high school and Ethan shot him. 

Then, I started thinking about Ethan. Why had he done that? What was wrong with him? I knew that he had to go to the jail, I would do something if that did not happen. I had a lot of time to think, and that also made me wonder who Ethan had a gun. I knew I lived in a country where almost everyone can have a gun, even though he was seventeen. He had one... and his parents had allowed him? Come on! That was so messed up.

Even though there were a lot of things going through my mind in that moment, only one thing would not leave it: Drew. He had to live, he could not die. He did not deserve that, and neither did it. All those thoughts were crossing my mind, and I was getting really scared.

Seconds seemed to be minutes, and minutes seemed to be hours. I was not crying anymore, because tears would not fall.

Suddenly, a doctor came right where we were. I could hardly breathe.

- Doctor, doctor! - I was almost screaming when he walked towards us - Please, tell me my friend is alive. I lost a friend some months ago, I can't lose another one, please.

The doctor looked exhausted, and I could not describe his facial expression. He stared at me, and started talking.  

- Your friend is alive. 

I could not resist myself: I hugged the doctor so tightly. Probably he thought I was crazy or something, but I did not care about that at all. Drew was alive; nothing else mattered. The happiness I was feeling, was something unbelievable. 

The doctor told us that he would wake up in a few hours, and that he was in the ICU, in observation. I did not even pay attention at the rest of the things he said. 

The doctor left, and I started crying. Yes, again. I had thought I could not cry anymore, but I was wrong. 

- Darling - told me my mom after giving me a hug -, Drew's alive. Why are you crying then?

- Because he is - intervened Kathy -. She's crying of happiness. 

Wow, I got surprised; it looked like Kathy had just read my mind. I was actually thinking that, well, feeling. I was such a happy person in that moment, you just cannot imagine how. I could not even talk, there were a lot of feelings I was experiencing. 

In a day full of bad things, a good one feel awesome. 

I was looking forward to see Drew. But I was not allowed yet, and that made me kind of angry. I wanted to see him in that moment, even though he was not awake. I have always been very impatient. 

A few hours later, the doctor came again and told us that we could go there to see Drew. He also told us that Drew was awake and that he was asking for me. I would have sworn that was one of the happiest moments in my life so far up to that day. And I had had a lot of happy moments in my life; my life was not as miserable as I had told Ethan, but he had a gun towards me, so I could not feel very happy in that moment. And I thought Drew was dead; I guessed that in that situation you say things like that, right?