Tom McQuaid life mentor?

Tom and charlie

I knew I shouldn't have made that promise to Tom but how could I not, he has just swept me off my feet and practically promised me the world. It had been a week now and the urges have gotten so strong that I can feel my hands shaking and anything I look at iv been trying to picture ways to do damage to myself and honestly it scares me "Tom?" He looked up from his desk on the other side of the room from me "what's up Charlie?" I knew I was bothering him whilst he was really busy but right now my own mind was scaring me "can you come here please?" He looked at me puzzled but came to me anyway, crouching in front of me "what's wrong? Are you ok?" He asked me in a soft loving voice all I could do was hold out my shaking hands "my mind went dark and I can't stop it" he took my hands in his holding them tight and still "come on I'm taking you home alright?" Nodding he took me to his car. Toms seemed to be somewhere I always ended up when things in my head had started to bother me... If it wasn't such a beautiful car I would hate it.

This is the first time I have been to Toms apartment and it was really something I didn't expect you know I half expected it to look like Doug's apartment and have a fridge full of beer and a empty pizza boxs all over the bench but laying on the bench was today's news paper and an empty coffee cup "sorry it's such a mess I didn't clean up before I went to work" this was a mess? How could it me it was even dusted! "This is the cleanest place iv seen that isn't Judys place, no need to be sorry Tom" sitting carefully on the sofa I still felt very anxious and jumpy "tell me what's bothering you, what can I do to help?" Tom sat down beside me resting his hand on my forearm "well... Sometimes I just kind of snap and everything changes... I get anxious and paranoid like everything's about to fall apart... My palms cramp up and then my heart starts to beat so fast that it feels like it could give out at any second, then that's when my mind starts to race a million miles per hour and I can't control it.... And then well it's like something takes over, I'm still aware of myself and I know what I'm doing I can think clearly for a second but... I can think is 'I don't wanna do this' and then I can't control myself anymore and I..." Tom carefully took my hands and rubbed my palms and calmed me down I hadn't noticed till now but I had been quivering and my word had been shaking "I don't think I can help as much I want to be able to and as much as you need me too..." Pulling me to rest my head on his chest as his arms went around me to secure me there "we all wanna help you Charlie we really do, doug loves you like a little sister and Judy wants to be your girl friend and go shopping with you, Harry well Harry just enjoys someone who has the same cultural up bringing as him" listening to Tom heart as he spoke me me more relaxed "you said everyone but Dennis... He hates me doesn't he?" If anyone was going to tell me the truth, it was going to be Tom he's never let me down and I can't see him letting me down anytime soon.

However that was an hour ago and Tom had been dogging giving me an answer.... He's avoiding giving me an answer! And I'm going to get it from Doug!