Infatuation (h.s)

Seventeen

~Stella's pov~
Is it possible to feel great, yet awful? Like everything's going good, yet it's going terrible? Like you found your place, yet you didn't?
I always seemed to feel this feeling. Sometimes I think it's because I try to make the best of things and focus on the good even though everything seems like it's terrible. Take right now the people I just met and live with hate me, yet finally I met the guy I texted and everything fell into place with him.
All I wanted was for Peyton and Elsie to stop being so immature and ignoring me. I knew the only way to do this was to address the situation, but I certainly wasn't going to apologize for being friends with Harry.
I stood leaning against the frame of Elsie's bedroom door.
"What do you want?" Elsie asked me rudely.
"Are you still mad at me for being friends with Harry?"
"You honestly think that's the only reason I'm mad?" She scoffed.
"Yes you've been rude to me about it all week"
"Stel I'm mad because you lied to me, you lied to my face. The worst part is if Liam hadn't of told me then I wouldn't have even known, I would've believe you."
"I said sorry about that. I knew you'd be mad about me being friends with Harry so I thought lying was an easy way to get around it." I explained myself. She probably thinks I lie to all of my friends when in reality I've never really had friends, and I'm starting to think I suck at having them. Also I'm shocked she said she would've believed my lie, I've never really lied much before so I don't know if I'm believable. The only time I've lied is to get out of going to my mum "family holidays" or the occasional time to skip class.
"Yes I would've been mad because I warned you that he isn't the person you should be around but I only did that because you're my friend, I care about you. The point is being mad at that is one thing but lying about it too is worse. You should know that lying can be alright at the time but it always hurts you in the long run"
"I understand that now, I've just really never lied before"
"Well for a first time liar you were pretty good" she joked, I smiled glad to see she was back to being her sarcastic self with me.
"I really am sorry" I apologized.
"No worries kiddo"
"Why was that so easy?" I asked, she accepted my apology so quickly after almost a week of being rude to me.
"I would've forgiven you at any time this week, I just wanted you to confront me about it"
"You're a bitch you know that"
"Oh I know that" She agreed.
"So how is the asshole?" She questioned.
"Harry?"
"Obviously"
"Oh he's a really nice guy, I enjoy spending time with him" I explained.
"What do you do in your spare time with him?" She asked I knew she was getting at if I was I hooking up with him.
"We went downtown London yesterday and other days we just hung out. Not what your asking, because I know what you mean"
"Is he nice to you?"
"Yes very nice he acts different around me, he's made no attempt to be anything more then friends."
"Wow you're the first"
"First what?" I asked.
"The first girl Harry's been nice to, the first girl to see the real him."
"I don't know about that." I disagreed. I find it odd that I would be the only girl Harry acts himself around, but then again his friends are all popular so they depend on him to be the cocky asshole that leads them around.
"That's how it's seeming."
"I don't know why though, there isn't anything special about me"
"Are you joking Stel? You're so nice, you're so funny and you're extremely pretty, yes you are something special. Maybe for once Harry's smart enough to realize that somebody really is a great person to be friends with"
"Thanks Elsie"
"No problem at all"
"If you're wondering I'm never going to stop hanging around you and Peyton for Harry's friends, I'm not huge fans of them" I assured her.
"Good. And to be honest nobody is fans of them."
"Rosie and Haylee are bitches but Serenity is so nice" I told her.
"Who's Serenity?"
"Luke's girlfriend"
"I didn't know Luke had a girlfriend. Are Luke, Louis and Connor nice?" She asked.
"Yeah, Luke's defiantly the nicest though."
"Well that's good." She agreed and I nodded. We talked for a bit more before she claimed she had to work a late shift so she left.
I contemplated what to do for awhile and decided on texting Harry because we had such a good time yesterday maybe he'd want to do something again. He could probably come here or we could get something to eat.
-
From: Stelly
hai want to do something?
-
From: Susan Boyle
like what????
-
From: Stelly
we could go somewhere or you could come over
-
From: Susan Boyle
i'd like to but i've got an assignment due tomorrow and louis isn't feeling the greatest so i'll probably need to take care of him
-
From: Stelly
i could help if u want??
-
From: Susan Boyle
noooo don't worry about it stelly!!! maybe another time!!!
-
From: Stelly
ok hope Louis gets better!!!!
-
From: Susan Boyle
i'll tell him you said that thankssss!!
-
From: Stelly
no problem :-)
-
I was trying to hide my disappointment that Harry was busy, I really did want to do something with him. I thought that everything awkward at first but I finally felt comfortable around him now and I think he felt the same. I felt my phone vibrate so I checked my iMessage.
-
From: Ash the drummer
hey are u busy tonight??
-
From: Stella Ella
nopeeeeee
-
From: Ash the drummer
remember u wanted to see my band play
-
From: Stella Ella
i do remember yes
-
From: Ash the drummer
want to come to see us perform tonight??
-
From: Stella Ella
yes!!!!!
-
From: Ash the drummer
ok 10?
-
From: Stella Ella
10 is good
-
From: Ash the drummer
ok perfect you can come over before if u want to
-
From: Stella Ella
ok I might just do that
-
From: Ash the drummer
u should because im lonely and bored
-
From: Ash the drummer
i am so lonelyyyy I have nobodyyyyyyy
-
From: Ash the drummer
FOR MY OWNNNNNNN
-
From: Stella Ella
k stop
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From: Ash the drummer
wow attitude
-
From: Stella Ella
fight me bro
-
From: Ash the drummer
ok you sure?? i have a lot of muscles that can take you down
-
From: Stella Ella
ya i have more muscles though
-
From: Ash the drummer
oh i completely forgot Stella you're ripped, you're pretty much a tank
-
From: Stella Ella
don't like to brag but I kinda am
-
From: Ash the drummer
seriously come over now
-
From: Stella Ella
ok i'll be 5 minutes
-
From: Ash the drummer
okkkkkk
-
I set down my phone on the coffee table and went into my bedroom to get dressed because I hadn't yet. I was the kind of person who didn't get out of pajamas ever.
I decided to put on some black jeans, and a white t-shirt I wasn't in the mood to dress up. My hair was already down in its natural waves so there wasn't a point in changing it, overall my whole look was lazy.
Locking the door behind me I headed over to Ashton's apartment eager to see him. He was a really great person to be around, I like that he talked so much but also listened.
I knocked on the door and he answered with a smile making his dimples visible.
"Hey Stel how are you?" He asked inviting me in.
"Good thanks you?"
"Good"
Ashton's apartment was a lot smaller then mine but it was still nice, despite the fact you could tell he didn't clean very often and he had posters on all of his walls. The mess wasn't too bad he just had a lot of take out boxes lying around, and clothes throughout the apartment.
I wasn't sure where Ashton went off to because I turned around and he was gone, I decided to take a seat on the couch. Eventually he came out of a room carrying a little drum set, it almost looked like the ones you get with the xbox guitar hero game.
"Practice drum kit." he answered my thoughts.
"Oh are you going to play it now?"
"No just getting it out so I can take it with me when we go."
"You'll like my band" Ashton assured sitting down beside me on the couch.
"I'm sure I will"
"I really hope you do, or I'll feel pretty let down" He joked facing me, I love how he always had a dimpled smile and bright shining hazel eyes. I'd be lying if part of me didn't have a bit of a crush on him, he was perfect.
"Tell me more about you" He pressed.
"What do you want to know?"
"Well I know you like bands, beer and traveling. What else is there?"
"Nothing honestly" I admitted shamelessly.
"The people that act like there's nothing to them are always the most complex. They say nothing because explaining is too complicated" he told me.
"What's with you and being so wise Irwin?"
"Well do you agree with what I said? Is there too many things to explain" he questioned ignoring what I said.
"Not really I explained what I like to you and the rest of me is a bunch of jumbled thoughts, that I can't get my head around."
"What about you Ash?"
"I play in a band, that's me"
"But to what you just said the simplest people have the most complexity" I reasoned.
"I'm like you not much going on but lots of jumbled thoughts"
"What are you're jumbled thoughts, if you don't mind sharing?" I asked him.
"Stuff about the past, my families went through a bit and I had a really shitty highschool experience"
"Wow you know what's weird?"
"What?" He asked.
"It's the exact same with me."
"That is weird, but if you ever want to share I'm here to listen and understand." He assured me.
"Thanks"
"I mean it" he pressed.
"I know Ash really thank you"
"It's not a problem" he told me smiling and leaned in a bit. He stared into my eyes for a moment.
"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" He asked.
"I'd kiss you- back-" I stuttered nervously. I had only ever kissed one boy once and it was when I was 16, I didn't know how to kiss people.
A few moments later Ashton leaned in pressing his lips gently onto mine, they were soft against mine, I didn't mind the feeling at all. Without thought our lips gently moved in sync, and Ash held the back of my head lightly. I couldn't believe how delicate Ashton kissed me and held my head, it was as if he thought he would break me.
We kissed for another few seconds before he pulled away, and shyly smiled at me.
"Should we get going?" He asked and I nodded agreeing, I felt a bit awkward at how he went right back to talking normally pretending as if though it didn't happen.
Ashton loaded some stuff into the back of his old beat up red car before we got in and headed off.
"We're going to that music lounge right?" I asked Ashton.
"No we're going to a bar downtown. If you like us enough I think we're performing at the music lounge this week you can come watch"
"Yeah defiantly"
"So have you seen Harry lately?" He asked.
"Yeah I was with him yesterday"
"I don't mean to be rude but can I ask a question?"
"Go for it" I assured.
"Are you guys just sleeping with each other or something?"
"Oh no defiantly not, we're just friends"
"Oh good just be carful, I don't want to see you hurt you're a good person."
"Thanks Ash so are you"
"No problem, and I'm really not a good person"
"Yes you are, I can't even believe you're disagreeing with it."
"Are you ok that I kissed you earlier?" He asked randomly.
"Yeah I am"
"Ok good I didn't want you to not have wanted that and then I just kissed you. It would of pretty much made everything awkward if that would've happened. I just think you're a really great person-"
"Stop babbling honestly it's fine"
"Ok good" he agreed letting out a bunch of air he seemed to be holding in.
Eventually we arrived at the bar, and went inside. Looking around the bar there was nothing special about it except the fact that it seemed to be at maximum capacity. It was impossible to get to and from one spot.
Ashton held onto my hand tightly weaving us through the crowds to get to the back off the bar. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then hopped on stage with the rest of his band.
"LONDON ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?" Ashton yelled out at the bar and everyone replied with a loud cheer.
"Hi we're 5 seconds of summer, and we're so glad to be here" Luke announces and everyone replied again with a cheer.
"Ok we have a few covers and a few originals so you're in for a treat, enjoy your night!"
"THIS IS TONIGHT TONIGHT BY HOT CHELLE" Ashton yells, and I immediately recognize the song.
Their guitars all the start going with the riff and I see Ashton bang his drum with the most intense face, he really gets into it. I try not to laugh a bit at his "1000 faces of drumming" that he told me awhile ago he does.
Next they were performing teenage dirtbag, I figured they'd be here for awhile so I could go grab a beer quickly. I weaved my way through the crowd having to push the occasional person out of the way then feeling bad and apologizing.
Once I got a few feet away from the bar I thought I saw Harry, it could've just been someone with curly hair because he's at home, I shrugged it off and continued towards the bar.
"Can I have a beer please?" I asked the bartender nicely.
"Absolutely" he agreed then handed me one.
"Thanks" I said handing him some money.
"No problem at all have a goodnight"
I weaved my way trying to get back to the stage but it was near impossible considering everyone was jumping crowded around it.
"Excuse me!" I yell out but nobody bothers to move or listen, I let out a frustrated groan.
After a lot of thinking I decided to go around the sides of the crowd closer to the walls of the bar, I figure I can weave my way easier.
As I slid between the wall and people I see a couple leaning against the wall eating each other's faces off.
"Excuse me" I said trying to get past them. Then the boy looked up and it was none other then Harry himself.
"Stella?" He asked wide eyed. I didn't know what to say I was both shocked and hurt. How could he lie to me, if he didn't want to be with me he could of just said it. Him saying he didn't want to hangout wouldn't have hurt as much as him lying to me. My eyes begin to water and I can't contain it.
"Stelly I'm sorry" he apologized.
"I told you to stop calling me that" I chocked out.
"Stella I'm sorry"
"Save it"
"No I really am"
"No you aren't if I wouldn't have seen you then you wouldn't have ever said anything about it, right?" I asked biting my lip to prevent more tears from spilling. He stayed silent clearly knowing I was right.
"That's what I thought"
"Wait do you need me to drive you home or something?" He offered and I laughed bitterly.
"No I don't want to be around you"
"Why?" He asked and I was shocked he said that, could he really he that fucking stupid?"
"Because this shows how you feel about hanging out with me, that you'd rather be at a bar making out with a random person. You honestly have to be a dumbass to ask why" I scoffed.
"Are you upset because I made out with the girl?"
"No because while you were making out with her I was doing the same with Ashton" I told him and he opened his mouth wide in shock he almost seemed angry or jealous. I truly hope he was jealous because that will make me feel so much better.
I angrily began making my way through the crowd, at this moment I could care less who I push.
As soon as I got out of the bar I sat on the ground against the wall. I wasn't waiting in there for Ashton. I did feel bad for not listening to his band much but at the moment my anger and sadness took over my guilt.
~~~~~~~~~
A/N
Short update but it took me awhile to come up with this!! I really wasn't a huge fan of this story and I had writers block but now I'm ready to get back into it!! This is unedited beware so there might be mistakes I just wanted to post it as quick as possible!!
Just when you thought all was good between Stella and Harry, not anymore!!
As always thanks.
~Emma~