Starting Over Again

I Wanted To Say GoodBye

JAMSINE

"Hi I'm looking to adopt my brother"

"okay well in order to do that you must get a parent signature ma'am"

"I don't have a parent in my life"

"well I'm sorry"

I got upset when the lady said I had to get my parents signature when there not in my life it just hurt me and ruined the birthday present I have for Justin . I went in search of hope that maybe one of my parents was still alive and they would sign Justin over to me .

"Hello ma'am , I'm looking to find relatives"

"okay , are they Jamaican citizens ?"

"no ma'am"

"if they are not Jamaican citizens then it will take a little longer for the results to come back"

"how long exactly ?"

"not sure , it could go days , weeks , or even months"

"okay , I guess that's fine . I really want to find them" I said sighing .

"okay . name ?"

"Monica and Ralph Daniels . could you tell me anything on them today ?"

"where are they from ?"

"Atlanta , Atlanta Georgia"

"wait one second"

~a few minutes later ...

"well kid I can tell you that Mr . Ralph Daniels is still alive . I can't give you a address today but I'll call you when I get it"

"yay okay , and what about Monica Daniels ?"

"your a few days late sweetheart . she died 2 weeks ago"

"are you serious ? how ?" I said with tears filling my eyes .

"she was shot . she had a coma due to where it hit and no one knew when she would wake , the family member that the hospital could contact told the doctor to cut her off of life support . how close was she to you ?"

"she was my mother . I haven't talked to her in years since she left me to provide on my own ... I didn't even get to say goodbye" I couldn't keep it in any more the tears started to flow . I was hurt . my mother was gone , I wanted to see her one last time .
"do you know where she was buried ?"

"uhhh yes , she was buried at Oakland Cemetery . I'm so sorry sweetheart"

"thank you"

I left and went home . Marcus was in the kitchen cooking . he had dreams of being a chef someday .

"hey baby" he said kissing me . " what's wrong ? how'd it go ?" he said as he looked I to my eyes .

"my mother's dead" I began bursting out in tears unable to control it . I wanted to stop because I would only maybe make Marcus cry because his mom died in front of him . I tried pulling it together but I just couldn't . He held me tight , stroking my hair .