Regrets ; a.i

Prologue

I stay silent as I sit in the chair and ponder back to what happened this summer. Back to everything that happened in two months, who would've thought so much could happen in that amount of time. I, for one, could never tell you that I thought it was possible. Sure, I heard things similar happen within two weeks or one, but, for myself I didn't think it was.

"Jennifer," the women's voice spoke, bringing me back to life and forcing me to leave the memories in the back of my mind.

I stare at her, "Yes?" My mom figured it'd be a smart idea for me to start going once every two weeks to talk to someone. I'm not sure exactly why. But it could do with my recent consistency to zone out for periods of time, lock myself in my room and do nothing for hours but lie on my bed listening to music.

She laces her fingers together and stares at me with a gentle look. "You mentioned something about having quite a few regrets, want to elaborate?" I know she doesn't want to seem like she must know and I know it wouldn't make a difference if I said nothing.

I sigh deeply and look out the huge window in her office. It's a pretty view, her office is on the fifth story, which holds a view of the bright blue sky and the tall snowy mountains. "I have some regrets, yes. Most of them being from this summer."

She nods slowly, probably trying to pick her words precisely and asking the correct question. "Are you sure they're all Regrets?"

I shrug as I think about it. "I guess some were inevitable and would happen eventually, but I just wish that I could go back and do this summer all over again."

If I could go back and last summer over again I would do everything so differently. I guess now I have the lessons learned and what happened happened, but, I ruined so much in my life and it was all for nothing.

"Do you want to talk about some of these regrets of yours?" She asked softly.

I honestly never want to speak of it again, not because what happened was so devastating that I'm dramatized to speak of it. But, because I don't want to look back and revisit what happened. I don't want to revisit the memories, all the pain and the tears I shed, but also all the good ones. The good ones were the ones that hurt the most, because they seem so good.

Nonetheless I find myself nodding slowly. "Maybe."

She smiles at me kindly. "I think it'd be good for you to let them off your chest," she always sounds so calm when she speaks.

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. "I can try." I open my eyes to look at her and she nods and gestures for me to continue. "Well, it all started with this promise..." and here goes the story of how I fell apart.

•••

I'm so excited to write this idk. It's gonna be a bit different though, like most of it will be flash backs to what happened, and stuff, and I already have a few chapters written and yes I like it.
(P.S. it does get better the more you read)