Starlight

XIV: Journey To The Past

Home, love, family
There was once a time I must have had them too

- 'Journey to the Past', Anastasia

xx.xx

She tore her hand away from his, planting it firmly in her own lap.

"Why?"

She hadn't meant it to sound quite as defensive as it had, but her one word question sliced through the comfortable atmosphere like a blade through paper. Sure, she had asked him for his story, but she had a reason: he expected her to tell it. Why did he need to know about her life? Her struggle?

"Because," He began, and he gestured for her hand again. Slowly, gingerly, she gave it back to him. He didn't squeeze it, didn't brush against it with his thumb - he merely held it in his own, but the gesture set her flesh aflame once more.

"Because..." He fumbled for words. "You don't just become Robin fucking Franks as a result of a non-eventful life."

He labored over her name; it sounded so new and alive to her that it may as well have been the very first time she had ever heard it.

She hoped that the flush in her cheeks was light this time. "What do you mean, become Robin Franks? I am Robin Franks; I've been Robin Franks for nearly 26 years."

"I mean how you ended up as the person you are now. I want to know how you became you, and then I'll let you know how I became this." He gestured lazily to himself, begrudgingly, as if he was anything short of a marvel.

She shook her head.

"I was born in Clivesdale in '92. I went to school, and I met Finn when we were 14. When I was 18 I tried to go to university and it didn't work out, so I worked for a couple years and decided to try again. I got accepted, I enrolled, and that brings us up to now."

Hidgens tipped his cup back, gulping the last law few drops of his latte before giving Robbie a steely look.

She frowned, glaring right back at him. "What? I told you my story, now it's time for yours."

"No," He took a sharp intake of breath, as if bracing himself. "You didn't. That was a list of dates; it was a timeline. Besides, I already knew all of that. Anyone could find all of that out about you after a couple of minutes of polite conversation."

She shrugged. "Well I don't know what else to tell you." Her tone was growing ever more brusque. She was on the verge of snapping, now - not because Hidgens was upsetting her, but because she was frustrated at herself.

She wanted to open up, but... talking about what happened? She'd never really done that. Not even with Finn. He'd been there at the time; they didn't need to talk about it. She'd never talk about it. There was no need; no one in her life needed to know, and no one deserved to know, and no one had cared enough about her to ask anyway, until now, so---

"Whatever it is, I'm not going to judge you."

She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"When I was young," She began, setting her cup down on the squat table, looking the professor right in those attentive blue eyes, "I knew I was kinda different.

I didn't want to be different. I feel like a lot of kids want to be different. They'll say, 'Oh no, I'm not like the other girls'. They try to set themselves aside from the others to feel special.

Don't get me wrong, I think that's mostly harmless. I mean, we shouldn't compare ourselves to other women to make ourselves feel unique, of course - but I think that's a normal stage of development when we're young. I guess that's ironic, huh.